Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Not consenting to dc being on school Facebook

172 replies

nevernotstruggling · 16/02/2019 09:58

I deactivated my Facebook account for 5 years. Dds are 6 and 9. The school didn't have social media when dd1 started in 14.

I've activated my Facebook in the last week and been directed to the school Facebook page. I was horrified. Hundreds of photos of children including mine close up not group shots far away.

The school sent a media consent form this week where you could choose yes to photos and website but no to social media. I have said no.

I'm worried that this might mean the dds are left out of pictures when they are taken and this might upset them.

I don't consent to my child being posted on open social
Media accounts I'm not having it. It's totally unnecessary and unsafe.

Has anyone else done this? What was the outcome?

OP posts:
ThreeAnkleBiters · 16/02/2019 10:02

Some kids at my DC's school are "no photo" kids. They're taken out of big group shots. Action shots e.g. of sports day etc are just taken and the ones of their kids are just not uploaded.

Gizlotsmum · 16/02/2019 10:03

Our school put emoticons over pupils who haven't been given permission for photos, or take pictures which don't show their faces. So still included but privacy protected

exLtEveDallas · 16/02/2019 10:06

I'm worried that this might mean the dds are left out of pictures when they are taken and this might upset them

But that is the choice you have made.
Your children need to know that is your choice, and to remove themselves from the photos. If that upsets them, unfortunately that is for you to deal with.

YouWinAgain · 16/02/2019 10:06

Our Nursery does what Gizlotsmum school do,.

Smoggle · 16/02/2019 10:06

I've given permission for photos for internal school things but not social media or marketing - I guess they just avoid taking photos of my kids, I don't know though, they have never mentioned it so obviously not upset!

WorraLiberty · 16/02/2019 10:08

Exactly what exLtEveDallas said.

Besides, for someone to see your child's photos, they'd already have to know what school they go to. So they'd be able to see their 'close up' faces in the street Confused

MrsJayy · 16/02/2019 10:09

If you ticked the no on the permission then you need to contact the school and say to them again.

Mishappening · 16/02/2019 10:11

I worked as a photographer and often took general pics in school for the purpose of news coverage. It was not a problem - I just took the pics, ran them past the head afterwards and deleted the ones not to be used. I did not need to know which children.

There are sound reasons, particularly in split families, for keeping faces of children put of the media.

I would not worry about it - your child will not be singled out as not to be photographed; and there will be many others whose parents have made the same choice.

Emeraldshamrock · 16/02/2019 10:12

Your DC probably won't even realise. I am surprised the school have a Facebook page with photos. My DC school have a school website with a few pictures mostly groups.
Yanbu though. I am not on SM, I went to visit a preschool/creche with DS, on their public FB page, they had 100s of videos and photos of the DC. I didn't like it.

exLtEveDallas · 16/02/2019 10:23

your child will not be singled out as not to be photographed

They should be. Having paid £500 for a photographer to come to school for the day, taking photos in classes and on the playground for use in the school prospectus and website, we ended up with less than 100 we could use because of 'no photo' children being in shot and in a lot of cases actually pushing into the shot. It was a horrendous waste of money and now 'non photo' children wear badges and/or medals on trips/sports days/events etc so it doesn't happen again.

I am surprised the school have a Facebook page with photos

We have a website, FB, Twitter and Instagram. Our MAT (of 7 schools) has the same and every school is promoted by the MAT. Lots and lots of photos from nursery to 6th Form.

Vulpine · 16/02/2019 10:26

Is there a reason why you don't want them on Facebook

boatyardblues · 16/02/2019 10:27

I refused consent for both my sons to be photographed for external uses each year at their primary school. They routinely disregarded my wishes, but the splurge of highly identifiable photos of a school residential trip all over public Twitter pissed me off the most.

StopMakingAFoolOutofMe · 16/02/2019 10:29

I'm a teacher and unless there are safeguarding issues, I find it quite bizarre why people get so worked up about photos on social media. Do you never let your child out in public?

bridgetreilly · 16/02/2019 10:31

OP, you can't have it both ways. You can't want them to be in the photos and also for the school not to use those photos. That is very unreasonable.

But schools absolutely need to be respecting what parents have said re. photos of their children. For some children this is a huge safeguarding issue. Looked-after children aren't allowed to be online. And so on. It's not always just a question of personal preference, and so there must be proper process in place to avoid it.

pootleposeyperkin · 16/02/2019 10:31

I've taught kids who don't realise they can't be photographed, their parents haven't told them. They then get upset when they can't be on pics eg a group picture from a foreign trip (pupil was year 10).

Vulpine · 16/02/2019 10:32

Couldn't agree more stopmaking. Or photos in local papers- of fetes or sporting events etc. No one seems to object to their kids being in them.

pootleposeyperkin · 16/02/2019 10:35

Also taught a kid whose parents made a fuss about them not being photographed but were very happy for them to be interviewed for Newsround and be on national TV and the BBC website.

ATowelAndAPotato · 16/02/2019 10:35

I have said yes to photos for use within the school but not their Facebook page/public.

The group photos that were published in the local newspaper, DC were kept out of the photo.

Informal photos taken during events, they just don’t publish anything identifiable, although I have recently seen their legs, and them in full fancy dress with no face visible. Which was lovely as I knew it was them but no-one else would have done!

The school have been very good about it.
I have explained to dc why I don’t want them in certain photos and they understand.

sometimes they do feel a bit sad that they weren’t in a certain photo, but then I show them all the ones they were in and by the time we’ve looked through them all they’ve usually forgotten they were sad!

ladyspongecake · 16/02/2019 10:35

I said no to social media for ds (I have "funny family"). What got me was the fact that the fb page was just a public one. The page is for the kids parents really.....so why not a closed page? Then Id not have had any issues! What got me was that this page was set up of a sudden and I found out about it AFTER!!!!

ladyspongecake · 16/02/2019 10:37

the thing with face book that many don`t realise is that the moment a photo is put on it, that picture is the property of facebook. they can use it as they want. without your knowledge. its all in the small print.

pootleposeyperkin · 16/02/2019 10:38

Social media pages are not just for parents but to advertise the school

ForalltheSaints · 16/02/2019 10:40

If you think they might be upset, why not explain to them why you do not want them photographed? Your reasons are perfectly valid.

There are many reasons to not want to be on Facebook, privacy being just one.

greenelephantscarf · 16/02/2019 10:41

yanbu
we didn't give permission either.
we also did not give permission for public media (school newsletter etc) but did for learning journals (paper books).
has never been an issue.
school either choose unidentifiable shots or blurr out.

MumUnderTheMoon · 16/02/2019 10:42

My dd is a "no photo" kid. It's never an issue only bent this rule one when her headmaster retired and she really wanted to be in the picture but they didn't use her name.

flirtygirl · 16/02/2019 11:29

My kids are no photos allowed kids. They don't go to school but same issue with clubs and activities.

I do not do any social media * and the ones I have allowed them to do, Instagram and snapchat are just private for them and their friends. Which I monitor and the pictures cannot be downloaded or removed. I also check the pictures before they add them.

But generally online most pictures can be downloaded and kept and manipulated. Once uploaded you have basically lost the picture.

  • I do not count mumsnet as social media.
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread