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AIBU?

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Original poster

Not consenting to dc being on school Facebook

172 replies

nevernotstruggling · 16/02/2019 09:58

I deactivated my Facebook account for 5 years. Dds are 6 and 9. The school didn't have social media when dd1 started in 14.

I've activated my Facebook in the last week and been directed to the school Facebook page. I was horrified. Hundreds of photos of children including mine close up not group shots far away.

The school sent a media consent form this week where you could choose yes to photos and website but no to social media. I have said no.

I'm worried that this might mean the dds are left out of pictures when they are taken and this might upset them.

I don't consent to my child being posted on open social
Media accounts I'm not having it. It's totally unnecessary and unsafe.

Has anyone else done this? What was the outcome?

OP posts:
maccaroni · 16/02/2019 11:40

@flirtygirl pictures can be screenshot you know

Original poster
nevernotstruggling · 16/02/2019 11:49

But that is the choice you have made.
Your children need to know that is your choice, and to remove themselves from the photos. If that upsets them, unfortunately that is for you to deal with.

Though the above is factually true I have a much wider issue with s

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AriadneCrete · 16/02/2019 11:51

I’m a teacher and remove the “no picture” children from group shots. A lot of them don’t like it, but there’s nothing I can do if they don’t have permission!

@flirtygirl pictures on Instagram can be screenshot and saved that way too. I presume it’s the same for Snapchat.

Original poster
nevernotstruggling · 16/02/2019 11:52

Social media. As I said the school didn't have it in the past and managed perfectly well. It's an good ofsted over subscribed full school that performs really well and is desired. None of that was achieved through advertising on Social media.

I don't want my kids on social media. I don't consent to it. There are some safeguarding reasons. I don't want clients I dentifying my children. That's not the bulk of it though. I don't think social media is safe for any of the children.

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Original poster
nevernotstruggling · 16/02/2019 11:52

My child isn't a advertising device for the school

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Original poster
nevernotstruggling · 16/02/2019 11:53

Going to request a meeting with the new head as I want a concrete reason who close up photos of any child are justified

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TeenTimesTwo · 16/02/2019 12:00

never
Schools need to advertise themselves.
Part full classes mean budget issues.
Many parents like to see pictures of their children at school.

Please don't waste the head's time complaining they have a facebook presence which shows children.

But, as you have now withdrawn consent for their photos, feel free to check with the admin office when the photos of your children will be removed.

It is poor they didn't have this covered by consent before the facebook page though.

We are 'no photos' due to DDs being adopted. yes, they have missed out on things, but they understand why.

flirtygirl · 16/02/2019 12:03

No I didn't know that. I had never realised. I think my kids are about to lose Instagram and snapchat then.
Thanks AriadneCrete and Maccaroni.

ibuiltahomeforyou · 16/02/2019 12:07

@StopMakingAFoolOutofMe outside of safeguarding of at-risk children there can be other reasons for children not being photographed/identified.

My DNs can be photographed but can't be named in the local paper or social media, as they have a very unusual surname and my DBIL has a job that brings him into contact with potentially dangerous people.

Crazyfrog007 · 16/02/2019 12:07

Request a meeting?? Oh my christ....

Many parents like to see the photos of their children and to have them shared. It's not just advertising.

Bryjam · 16/02/2019 12:10

The school sent a media consent form this week where you could choose yes to photos and website but no to social media. I have said no.

I'm worried that this might mean the dds are left out of pictures when they are taken and this might upset them.

Well, yeah. I'm not sure what you expect the school to do. If you say no, that's what the school will do?

Original poster
nevernotstruggling · 16/02/2019 12:11

@TeenTimesTwo the school is over subscribed and full to bursting.

the thing with face book that many don`t realise is that the moment a photo is put on it, that picture is the property of facebook. they can use it as they want. without your knowledge. its all in the small print. This exactly. I think schools have fb because it's the done thing. Where's the critical thinking?

The school did parent sessions for online safety recently......and continue to publish unnecessary photos of children.

Also in other parts of the website they publish the names of weekly award recipients and the corresponding photo is on Facebook so the kids are identifiable.

I'll approach the head about whatever I choose to mind since I've done it once in 5 years....

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Ribbonsonabox · 16/02/2019 12:13

Yanbu it's up to you obviously.

I personally dont see what the problem is and let my children be on social media. I've no problem with their photos being used for the school.
My opinion is that it's just an image....
I understand some people have serious reasons for not allowing their kids pictures online as their kids are at risk in some way.
But for me, my kids are at no more risk having pictures on line than they are from walking around in public.
Obviously if my children ever said they were uncomfortable with it then I would allow them to say they were no photo children and take down and personal social media photos they did not want up.
But so far they love photos (well my son does my daughter is only a baby)

AppleKatie · 16/02/2019 12:13

Going to request a meeting with the new head as I want a concrete reason who close up photos of any child are justified

You aren’t the chairman of governors the head doesn’t have to explain herself to you.

Yes you have the right to opt out of photos for your children but beyond that it’s not your business.

Many people like to see pictures of their children on the schools social media. It’s common practice and lots of people like it.

Ribbonsonabox · 16/02/2019 12:15

Yabu to think that you get to decide for other families what is safe. If you dont want your child on social media in any way then that is up to you... but requesting a meeting with the head regarding other children is ridiculous

Original poster
nevernotstruggling · 16/02/2019 12:16

Exactly - social media is common proctice. So are lots of things we now perceive as very dangerous.

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Original poster
nevernotstruggling · 16/02/2019 12:17

@Ribbonsonabox I'm curious as to the rationale of the school using photos on Facebook. I'm entitled to ask

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Ribbonsonabox · 16/02/2019 12:17

How exactly is it dangerous?

pippitysqueakity · 16/02/2019 12:19

We have school FB because we did a consultation and the majority of parents wanted it. It is carefully moderated only the school can publish photos to it and no photo children are not on it.
Some parents like to see photos of their children taken in a different environment to that in which they normally see them.
We applied plenty of critical thinking,thanks.probably yours did too, which I’m sure will be explained to you when you arrange a meeting to inform the school how uninformed you perceive them to be.

Original poster
nevernotstruggling · 16/02/2019 12:19

Facebook policy about selling images to 3rd parties. Making the children identifiable.

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TeenTimesTwo · 16/02/2019 12:20

never I think you are entitled to ask. But do so via email so the head can answer as convenient. Not a meeting, which is much more 'confrontational'.

Barbaraanne22 · 16/02/2019 12:20

The rationale is probably that the vast majority of parents (and children) really like it. Its a great way of sharing sporting successes, school events, etc.

ladyspongecake · 16/02/2019 12:23

I also agree with a pp that ds isnt an advert. The school was a good, popular, full to bursting one. No need at all for a FB page to advertise. I was more annoyed with the school for sneaking the fb page past parents (others didnt know about it either !). I had to do spot checks as well....at least 1 photo of ds appeared after I told and gave them a written note to say no. I noticed from talking to other parents a few more decilned the social media as well.

Apple103 · 16/02/2019 12:24

Yabu. If you dont want your child on SM then that's fine but you need to make it clear that they are excluded because of you. So In a group shot they should be excluded and not impact anyone else.

We have school concerts, sport events and all parents are welcome to take photos of their children. If others happen to be in it then so be it.

Original poster
nevernotstruggling · 16/02/2019 12:26

@Apple103 I take on board what you are saying about telling the dc straight. I will be doing that.

The school has recently banned the patents from videoing and taking g photos at plays and events but the patents just piss all over that. Sadly if there's any adopted or similar children at the school they have been outed by entitled parents. Sigh

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