to think my parents are the most technically-useless out there?

[SileneOliveira]

My parents are mid-70s. Both had professional careers where they didn't have to use computers before they retired 15 or so years ago. (Primary teaching and dentistry). They are totally and utterly incompetent with anything technological.

I had a phone call at 11.59pm last night from Dad's mobile. (An old Motorola brick). Nobody spoke when I answered. So the obvious conclusion is that something is terribly wrong. Called back on the landline, a very grumpy Mum answered. She had no idea what was going on and why had I got her out of her bed? Fuck me, if you can't even "drive" a basic Motorola flip phone you've got problems and why are you tawtting about with it at midnight anyway?

They also think I'm being incredibly unreasonable in asking them to take their mobile when I collect them from the airport. As the airport has no free drop-off zone I've asked them to call me when they're physically walking out of hte airport so I can scoot into the 10 minutes for £2 zone and get them. This is apparently unreasonable as I can phone the airport and find out when the plane landed and make a guess as to how long it will take them to clear passport control and get their luggage. (If it wasn't a late night flight I'd be telling them to get the bus).

I have never sent or received a text from my parents. The would think Siri was a new Lebanese restaurant.

When I read about people's parents facetiming them, or a family WhatsApp group my face is like this . It's so very alien to me.

Anyome else got parents like this???

TooManyPaws How do you manage to use a touchscreen ipad? Unless your arthritis is not too bad?

My dad texted me once. We had to meet in an airport and I was all set to do the usual - guess where he was going to be and hope - when I got a text. I nearly fell over. My mum doesn't use any of it, after many false starts with skype some years ago (sound never working, somehow there would always be some problem and the dc weren't great at keeping engaged with their grandparents over the phone). but she was never great with computers and always had to be very carefully instructed in how to attach a file or print or whatever. she did it though.

Finally I think my dad realised that finding people in airports is one of the best uses of mobile tech. He can use satnav too (helps once you have found your family and rented the car in said airport!), but only just.

My PIL were a bit behind in the mobiles dept. Fine with the computer (at least mil is, fil not so much), tv, internet etc but phones were just old bricks turned on if they needed them.

They moved into the middle of nowhere then with no phone signal, no 3 or 4G so never bothered.

Finally their middle of nowhere home got 4G and they decided to update to a smart phone. Now they wont bloody get off whatsapp, i go out for a training session for an hour or so & come back to 65+ whatsapp notifications. I'm talking pictures of the beer my fil is drinking or my mil discussing the news report. But as they are so remote its nice to know we can check they're alive daily.

My nan has an iphone & ipad & I've shown her a hundred times how to work them but she still gets the off button & silence button mixed up.

I sympathise with anyone with elderly parents who are compos mentis and physically able and won't use technology which could help them and their children.

However, hang on - Tim Berners-Lee is in his sixties. My mother (who would be 90 now) was familiar with basic computing from the 1980s and was used to email and skype. Less so with mobile phones because of her gradual loss of fine motor skills. She'd have loved Siri!

And some people are just afraid and block. I sold major IT to companies in the Nineties and there were highly intelligent people who just couldn't understand it and were afraid of it. And when you're afraid you don't learn properly if at all.

There is another problem - a lot of men who had secretaries to deal with IT never learnt to use it themselves. So think those in their sixties and seventies.

Good luck, OP.

Tim Berners-Lee is in his sixties

And, perhaps more to the point, his mother (born 1924) was one of the team that programmed some of the earliest commercial computers.

And Berners Lee could only develop HTTP and HTML because IP and TCP existed (let's wave our hands and say Vint Cerf, born 1943 and still working for Google, and Bob Kahn, born 1938) and did so on a Unix (hand wave again, NeXT being not quite Unix) workstation; Unix was developed by Dennis Ritchie (born 1941) and Ken Thompson (born 1943 and still up until recently working at Google).

This idea that being in your seventies or eighties precludes involvement in technology is stupid. Name one major technology which doesn't have its roots in the 1960s at the latest.

Except most young people now do not have that level of tech skills. You are talking about a tiny minority of people with highly specialised tech skills, not the ordinary person.
Its like me rubbishing surveys that show many young people do not have basic sewing skills by talking about young people who sew highly specialised couture items. It is irrelevant to the general conversation.

Mum happily uses an iPad, and Facebook, messenger etc. Refuses a mobile phone ffs. Mind you dad when he was alive used to call you and then turn his mobile off , bless him

Mine are late 60s/early 70s. They have flip top mobiles. DM can text and call. DF can text but is very formal when he does. He only used to switch his phone on when he wanted to use it - he's much better at leaving it on since he switched it on one day to get a text from his sister who'd died several months before.

They have broadband but DM is convinced that when the lights are flickering on the hub, someone is hacking into their internet, so she spends a lot of time switching it off and unplugging it. She doesn't like to give the password out when people are visiting either, although I have been allowed it.

They can just about send emails but won't order anything online in case their bank details get stolen. Will happily ring up and give their bank details over the phone though. They've just got a sky plus box and are recording anything and everything by accident. They both have a hudl but DF doesn't use his. DM plays candy crush, bubble witch and looks on rightmove on hers.

They have mentioned this week that they are thinking of getting iPhones though so that will be fun

The frustration is that people that abdicate any interest in technology are rarely living technology free, they're creating work for the people around them that do use it.
DMs holidays aren't booked tech-free, her friends are having to do all the admin for her.

My DM was like this in her mid 50's after years of no tech admin jobs. It was down to her belief she was thick. Once me & sister used tech daily around her she learnt quickly as she had us on site for non judgemental help. If they aren't around anyone who uses tech daily they prob don't 'get' the benefits. Find some aspect related to their interests & it may well change & then develop. My elderly aunt now cant get enough of amazon bargains & old musicals.

She doesn't like to give the password out when people are visiting either,

That's perfectly sensible.

I only have a small pay as you go phone, I use it for calls and texts. I use my laptop, shop on line, don't bank on line, can build web sites, am on social media, won't have a sat nav, can't see the point. Have been looking at my DILs new car this week, which is full of bells and whistles and fancy bits and pieces, and all I can think is - what happens when this goes wrong? How long will it last? How much will it cost to sort out - and more the point - for me - who needs all this stuff?

Op I completely understand your frustration. I had to keep teaching a 40yo how to send a file attachment at work. Fucking ridiculous. (NHS)

However my parents 73 are awesome. They both have iPhones and my 10yo son has set her up on Strava and she's used it at her first parkrun today. (Just finished C25K).

She sent me a WhatsApp message to let me know she was going out on our horse so I could follow her on find my friends

What a time to be alive!

YANBU. It's the refusal to learn thing that gets me, and the assumption that this new technology is useless.

My grandma is nearly 90 with poor mobility and has made an effort to learn various things. She now gets most of her clothes online- easy to order online and try on in comfort
Has reconnected with her cousin in Australia, for free via WhatsApp calling
Uses Netflix - much more variety than freeview

And the best one is she and her pals have a Facebook group where they arrange evenings out and share gossip.

Yes there's no point in her learning how to use excel, but she has embraced the benefits technology can give her. I hope I am like her when I'm old

Steamfan I only have a PAYG phone too for texts and calls. I do nanking and shopping online, titter, facebook etc, have a small website for my business, but I don't want a smartphone as I know I would be addicted to it.

Banking and twitter not nanking and titter!

My mum thought the perfect time to try out texting was when my dad went into hospital after a heart attack. Well they had a mobile signal there!

The frustration is that people that abdicate any interest in technology are rarely living technology free, they're creating work for the people around them that do use it.

Precisely.

My parents at 74 and 68 are arguably more tech savvy than I am. They both have smartphones and iPads so can Facetime / Skype / WhatsApp with friends and family - can also do online banking / shopping etc without any involvement from us, thank goodness. They both have Fitbits too and have regular step challenges with each other.

I'm quite proud of them actually - it makes a big difference to their quality of life.

@omarlarge

Nanking & Titter!! Sounds like a pop duo

My MIL had an emergency mobile phone. She kept it switched off in a drawer at home.
Which of course was hugely helpful when she got lost on public transport.
I can understand not wanting to text/face time, but I think being able to make a basic call on a mobile is kinda necessary, especially in this day and age of no public phones.

The frustration is that people that abdicate any interest in technology are rarely living technology free, they're creating work for the people around them that do use it.
Not my experience at all. FIL used shops and Post Office and bank branches.

@clairemcnam

well yes, as long as they can get there.

I'm not sure where I am on this. I am looking after my elderly mum, I live a distance away and I would find things a lot easier if she would agree to online shopping and banking. For the moment, I have said to her that I will continue to help without putting anything online, but at some point I might have to send her an online shop, I can't do a 3 hour round trip to do it.

Grace Fair enough. By the time FIL could not get out, he did not have the coordination to get online anyway. He could just about manage to use a landline phone with giant buttons.

For the moment, I have said to her that I will continue to help without putting anything online, but at some point I might have to send her an online shop,

One can have some slight sympathy with people who have never done online shopping. One can have similar sympathy if they have a backlog of skills to learn in order to do that. But people who refuse to even permit others to do it for them can bloody well do their own shopping.