AIBU What age is ok to do this and why don't kids understand lie ins? (lighthearted)

[waffilyversati1e]

Picture the scene. It's anywhen between 04:30 and 06:30 hrs. You are snoozing in your nice warm bed when you hear the sound of a door creaking open. It's your 4 year old. He is ready for the day and gives not a fuck that it is a saturday bloody morning or that you went to bed later than expected due to a surprisingly captivating Netflix series (I am looking at you Umbrella Academy).

Do you
a) sigh deeply, scowl at your still snoring husband and follow the 4 yr old downstairs with a far flung dream of stealing back some zzz's sometime?
or
b) do what your husband suggested last time and send the 4yr old off downstairs on his own for an hour to play with his tablet effectively hitting the snooze button on parenting.

(if you answer a, at what age would your answer change to b?)

You can't always help when you wake, though.

No, but you sure as hell can help what you do once you are. And encouraging early rising with the prize of ipad time is not the answer.

Ours are 14,8,5 and 4.
We don't see the 14 year old before lunch time at the weekends but the others usually get up around 7 they go downstairs and put the tv on and play on their iPads.
There is a fruit bowl on the table and they can make their own drinks.
I got up at about 8.30 today and dh is still in bed.
Its only been in the last six months we've been able to do this and I'm not going to lie it's been life changing!!

We had an early riser who was an only child. It gradually got later and later (we celebrated when it started to regularly be after 5:45) and although we hated it, one of us got up with her every single time. We'd try and pull her into bed with us in the hope of her having a bit more sleep, but once she was awake she was awake.

She didn't want to be on her own in the mornings until she was about 9, so she never, never was. As hard as it was, and as exhausted as we were, we just thought she didn't ask to be born - we chose to have her and we didn't think it was fair she should be on her own when it wasn't her choice.

It did slowly change though, and now as a teen she'll sleep in until 10 or 11, which is glorious!

So they can't have a wee, a drink?

Who said that? Yes, they have water by their bed and can go to the loo and then get back into bed!!!

There's early rising and early rising, though.

4 am, I'd agree. Back to bed (after a wee/drink.)

5 - probably. Depends.

Once you're at 5:30/6 though, I think that's normal. Annoying, but normal.

I was genuinely asking OhDear - to be fair, it was you who said no one was allowed out of their beds and that was why I checked as I didn't know how literal you were about it.

Had to add - even if the gro clock is blue they’re allowed to go to the toilet btw! They’re not allowed to get up for a drink until the clock turns yellow (6.30am) though

I do b)

Having said this DD is 4.5 and I’ve only recently started doing this for a few months, she has a gro clock too which she understands and now she plays on her tablet or can go downstairs and watch TV. She can also make cereal with milk too.

When my brother and I were young from when I was 5 or 6 and him 2 years younger we were always sent downstairs or slept downstairs at one point and watched Saturday morning kids TV with cartoons or played - cartoons were always best. Didn’t everyone’s parents and kids do this? Don’t recall seeing parents until at least 9am onwards on this days! And we got our own cereal and milk and toast then too.

to be fair, it was you who said no one was allowed out of their beds

No, I haven't said that anywhere on this thread.

I wouldn't get up at 4.30am for a non ill, school age child. That's madness. It's plenty old enough to be told that its still night time and they should stay in bed, if not asleep, then reading quietly.

Sorry - someone did and you answered me so I assumed it was you :)

Mine are nearly 4 and 6 and they need to stay in their room till 7. They’re allowed the light on if it’s after about 5.30. Before that, if I hear them awake one of us will get up and try to get them back to sleep (at least for the younger one).

We do sometimes put them in front of the TV on a sunday to get a lie in but only after 7.

Urh, definitely neither OP

Anytime before 6:30 is still ‘sleep time’. Blackout blinds and a swift march back to bed used to help.

When ours used to wake early at weekends (ie after 6:30 ish!) we would have a system where we would take turns getting up with the DC, leaving the other one to lie in as long as they wanted to. It made the day it was your turn much more bearable.

Ours were very little before the days of tablets - we had one monster desktop in the corner of the room . I miss those days actually...

Mine are four and six and I don't get up when they do.

I got cereal dispensers that sit on the low window sill in the kitchen. There's also some bready breakfast bits they can reach (brioche or pancakes etc.) and I fill a small plastic jug with milk so they can pour themselves a drink or put milk in cereal easily.

They can put on Netflix or play on their tablets.

They are both autistic, though, so it's very much a case of picking battles in this household. I know not everyone would approve of the food they eat or the screen time but a lot of work has gone into even getting to this point so I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks.

4:30 - 6am back to bed, matey
After that, I used to get up and lie on the sofa

I think it depends on the child, the layout of the house and how deeply you will go back to sleep.

We put a mattress at the end of the bed and said that if they woke and we were still sleeping they could creep in and bed down there, but on condition that they did not wake us. It got a bit boring in the end and was more fun to play with their toys in their room.

Perhaps try and edge the bedtime on a bit so that they do not wake so early?

From about 3 I put a post it note with a 7 over the minutes on the digital click so you couldn't see the minutes. I said that when the number on the clock matched the post it note they could come in and wake me up. Before that they had to play in their room. I'd return them to their room till they realised there was no point waking me till 7.

Once it was past 7 I would go downstairs with them and switch on the tv but snooze on the sofa. They didn't bother waking me up because they knew that I would be uncommunicative and grumpy.

By about 5 they'd go downstairs on their own if it was past 7 where I would have set out a bowl of cereal the night before for them.

I liked my sleep and couldn't have managed with 5am starts.

Definitely send them back to bed, IMO being allowed to watch tv/play iPad etc would encourage them to get up early. Mine learnt to stay quietly in their rooms reading/playing with quiet toys until 7am at 4, around 7.30 at 5 and 8-8.30 at 6+ (at the weekends of course, in the week we're all up by 7).

My 6yo still goes to bed c7-7.30 so I don't think 12 hours is too long at 4.

No downstairs, no ipad before 7, but any time before that if the kids get up we've always either asked them to go back to bed or if the reason was an unsettling one (nightmare, loneliness etc) then offer them a cuddle in our bed. Sometimes they just read until it's a bit later.

Thank you!!! Thank you for the suggestion of leaving a biscuit, drink & tablet out for DC on a Saturday morning. We tried this this morning & DD (4) stayed happy & quite in her room from 6.30am when she woke up till 8.30am when DS (8mths) eventually woke up. DH & I got a few hours extra sleep & it was magnificent!

Before 7 o’clock we say to play/read in own room.
After 7 DD she can come in our room and have cuddles, play/read with her things in our room, watch our tv.
She’s 3 1/2 and not ready to be downstairs alone yet.
She’s pretty happy with the arrangement and then on Saturdays, after our lie-in, we either have breakfast in our bed together or go out for breakfast.