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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think some people don’t know how lucky they are

39 replies

Guineapiglet345 · 15/02/2019 22:20

A relative of mine lives in a nice house in a beautiful Cotswold village that is very popular with tourists, surrounded by beautiful countryside, has lovely neighbours who they’ve known for years, everything they need within walking distance of their house, supermarket, doctors, dentist, hairdresser etc.

All they do when we go to visit is moan about how much they hate where they live, they don’t know why anyone would want to visit, they don’t like the people in the village and so on.

We would love to live where they live, the fact is so would many of our friends but we’re all priced out of the area, and I think this relative would be shocked if they actually had to go and live in a normal town or city that was a bit run down.

OP posts:
Sarcelle · 15/02/2019 22:21

It's the human condition, grass is greener somewhere else all the time.

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 15/02/2019 22:23

One mans meat is another mans poison. You only have to look at the snide remarks mad on MN alone about London; you might love to live in the Cotswolds, I cant think of anything more isolated than a village, few shops, and endless buses of tourists taking pictures and jaywalking …. at least in a big town you can escape them and go and do something that's on your doorstep.

brick15 · 15/02/2019 22:24

Sometimes you don’t really know a place until you live there. Odd visits and the place seems idyllic but could well be very different day to day.

longearedbat · 15/02/2019 22:26

If they hate it so much, why don't they move?

EL2019 · 15/02/2019 22:27

Some people are only happiest when they’re moaning.

Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 15/02/2019 22:28

Have you tried living there? You haven't a clue what it's like and the isn't just a choice between where they are and a run down normal city, try removing your rose tinted glasses

Original poster
Guineapiglet345 · 15/02/2019 22:32

@longearedbat That’s what I keep saying to them, for what they could sell their house for they could probably buy a mansion somewhere outside the Cotswolds!

I keep half jokingly offering to do a house swap with them Grin

I’m not sure they think the grass is greener, they’ve just never lived anywhere else so I suppose what everyone else sees as beautiful is just standard to them.

OP posts:
Original poster
Guineapiglet345 · 15/02/2019 22:33

@Onlyjoinedforthisthread I have lived there, we couldn’t afford to buy there so had to move further afield

OP posts:
Butteredghost · 15/02/2019 22:34

You're doing the exact same thing - complaining about where you live and saying that others have it better. Why would you "love to move there" when I'm sure your city or town is the envy of half the world.

Jellykat · 15/02/2019 22:35

12 years ago, i left exactly as you describe OP (also in the Cotswolds), believe me until you live that life day in/ day out you cant realise how claustrophobic it becomes.. Incidentally my DB who is still there has had enough of it now, and planning on selling up.

Coppermine · 15/02/2019 22:35

I bet in reality living in a tourist area like the Cotswolds would be a nightmare. I used to live near the Cotswolds so been many times or travelled through, and in peak season and holidays the traffic is awful and the villages are far from quiet and peaceful. They are stunning places to visit but no way would I want to live there.

Having said that if they dislike it that much, why are they not moving?

Alarae · 15/02/2019 22:36

I'm like that with London. Some people absolutely love it and I'm not one of them.

Living there would be my worst nightmare.

pasbeaucoupdegendarme · 15/02/2019 22:36

That does sound frustrating, OP. I was lucky enough to grow up in the Cotswolds (and I knew I was lucky!) and would love to live there again but like you, am priced out of the market in my home town. I’d be annoyed if friends who have afforded to buy there moaned constantly about it.

Tawdrylocalbrouhaha · 15/02/2019 22:40

Mmmm, but pretty villages can be very, very dull to live in.

I love in a rough area of East London, and I wouldn't swap for a pretty rural village, so I see their point. Although why they don't up and move somewhere else is another matter.

Original poster
Guineapiglet345 · 15/02/2019 22:46

@pasbeaucoupdegendarme at least someone knows what I mean! There are much worse places they could live but the way they talk about it you’d link they lived in the middle of a war zone, not somewhere people buy 2nd homes and travel across the world to visit!

OP posts:
Abacab · 15/02/2019 22:50

Why exactly do they hate it? What specific reasons do they give?

freefan · 15/02/2019 22:55

I once lived in a wonderful picturesque countryside village, within easy walking distance of school, parks, shops and nature walks with gorgeous views...
Where everyone knew everyone's business and people were as two faced as they come.. hated every minute of living there...
Maybe on the outside looking in it looks picture perfect but reality of living there day to day could be the opposite?

Original poster
Guineapiglet345 · 15/02/2019 22:57

@Abacab there’s never anything specific, they just say things like it’s a shithole, there’s roadworks (I have pointed out that everywhere has roadworks now and then) the people are horrible (not sure that’s really specific to this village!) also today when we were out they must have stopped to have nice chats with at least 3 or 4 different people so they can’t be all bad.

OP posts:
GreenTulips · 15/02/2019 23:00

I live in a tourist town

Dull as dishwater in the winter - nothing on at all really apart from a few car boots and older people meeting for coffee

Summer see swarms of people - can’t park can get to the supermarket (and they put up prices for the summer - so annoying)

BackforGood · 15/02/2019 23:01

Some people just like to moan.

Pernickity1 · 15/02/2019 23:03

Hmmm, I live somewhere nearly as pretty as the Cotswolds and I hate it Sad. I have a gorgeous house, decorated exactly how I want with stunning views but I’m so bored and isolated here I want to cry daily.

Moving is not an option as the house is on DH’s family land so can’t be sold and I wouldn’t ask him to sell it regardless as it holds such sentimental value to him.

Everyone who calls to our door (literally everyone - from the postman to my great aunt Margaret) comments on how “lucky” I am to live here and I have to give a fake smile and nod along like the Churchill dog for fear I seem ungrateful. But i struggle daily with the desire to pack up my two DDs and run at speed to the oasis that is my mum’s 3 bed semi on a housing estate three hours away! I ache to go home and give them the upbringing I had, I feel I’m doing them a disservice living here but I’m sure they won’t know any different as it’s their “home” so they will probably love it like my DH... it’ll just be me who’ll die a little inside with each passing year!

SheWoreBlueVelvet · 15/02/2019 23:09

It’s because they can see how nice it would be if only......

I find that most moans are because you know life could be better if only x,y or z happened. It’s the frustration that everyone knows x,hand z should happen but never does, or is implemented badly.

Original poster
Guineapiglet345 · 15/02/2019 23:26

@Pernickity1 I’m sorry, it must be awful feeling so isolated. Have you told your DH how you feel, you never know he might not be as attached to the land as you think if he thinks you like it.

OP posts:
Pernickity1 · 15/02/2019 23:34

Thanks Guineapiglet345 yes he knows I’m unhappy here, I’ve suggested renting elsewhere for a while to see if we like it but he says he never wants to live in a town/city again. It’s a classic rural/urban divide - we both prefer our own backgrounds. Sadly I didn’t fully realise this until I had children and by that stage I had already agreed to living here and I’m not in the financial position to purchase another house so here we are!

Like your post says though I am aware that many people would love what I have, so I’m just going to have to pull my socks up and try to make the most of it (or work out some way of getting rich quick Grin)

Sparklesocks · 16/02/2019 00:04

I think no matter how well you do in life there are always others who seem to have more, have a nicer home, make more money, take more holidays etc. Some struggle with comparing their lives to that and can’t enjoy what they have. It’s a shame because it’s no way to live, such a waste not enjoying all the wonderful things in your own life. We could all get hit by a bus tomorrow after all.

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