To think some people don’t know how lucky they are

[Guineapiglet345]

A relative of mine lives in a nice house in a beautiful Cotswold village that is very popular with tourists, surrounded by beautiful countryside, has lovely neighbours who they’ve known for years, everything they need within walking distance of their house, supermarket, doctors, dentist, hairdresser etc.

All they do when we go to visit is moan about how much they hate where they live, they don’t know why anyone would want to visit, they don’t like the people in the village and so on.

We would love to live where they live, the fact is so would many of our friends but we’re all priced out of the area, and I think this relative would be shocked if they actually had to go and live in a normal town or city that was a bit run down.

Well, it's all relative.

I once lived in a hostel for the homeless with a bunch of druggies, people straight out of prison, people straight out of the care system, and people still actively pursuing a career in crime. Sounds lousy but apart from the odd unfortunate incident it was actually pretty friendly and I have a lot of fond memories of those days.

Then I've lived in places that were in themselves quite nice but were utterly spoiled by the antics of arsehole neighbours.

So I think a lot of whether you love or hate where you live isn't so much about the place itself, but about the people who surround you.

Having said which, there are some people who would moan wherever they lived. It's just an unfortunate aspect of the British mentality IMO.

My friend lives in a cottage on a rural road, it's one that Joe Public walk down to from a large housing estate on the edge of her village to get to the next village pub. So on a sunny day (but never a wet day) tens/hundreds of people stroll down the road with (loud) kids, dogs running loose off the lead (and to poop in her garden) etc etc. She hates it, like a goldfish bowl she says, they all look in her lounge window as they pass. So I can see their point of view.

They're definitely not being in unreasonable for not enjoying living in a boring pretty little village. They're definitely being unreasonable to just moan and do nothing about it. I hated living in such a place but we upped sticks as soon as we could.

You get used to where you live and maybe get bored of it? I lived in a beautiful city (Cambridge) for 10 years and found it soulless, overcrowded and expensive. I moved to an unattractive midlands city and found it full of soul and community.

They probably do know, but don’t want you to think they are more lucky than you.

I have lived in very pretty rural areas and towns and cities. It's difficult to really get an insight into peoples day to day experiences.
I love the countryside, wildlife etc, but find the Winter very depressing as there is nothing to do. Access to decent supermarkets or any cultural activities is difficult and often people are either very unfriendly or nosy.
Living in a city is isolating too as it's very hard to make friends, everything feels anonymous , the traffic is awful and people don't acknowledge each other. However there is a choice of things to do and places to go in bad weather and good, access to good supermarkets and activities.
So much depends on your stage of life, age and interests.
Having to run two cars is also an expense if public transport is poor or virtually non existent.
I found living in a rural area challenging. It was lovely in the summer, but in the Winter I felt very isolated and bored.
It sounds as though your friends need to move and experience something else, but my question would be, why do you care?

There are much worse places they could live but the way they talk about it you’d link they lived in the middle of a war zone, not somewhere people buy 2nd homes and travel across the world to visit!

But they've never lived anywhere else and I'm assuming their imagination isn't able to stretch to imagining how bad it is in other areas of the country

Expectation creates such unhappiness - they expect X, don't get it and moan

You're doing EXACTLY the same

You expect that living where they live gives X and you have zero ability to imagine that it might not give X, or that they just like a moan or that their expectations aren't being fulfilled

Let them get on with moaning and put your own expectations in order

I live in a pretty and expensive tourist town. Most of the people who live here are spoilt idiots. There are nice people, but they tend to be the ones who lived here before it was so expensive. Every year house prices go up and more awful people with too much money move in. Building work is constant, they chop down the trees when they can get away with it, the houses get covered with security lights and you can't move for massive Range Rovers. It's actually quite grim.

I bet they get bored of people telling them it's beautiful and how lucky they are all the time. Sounds like a "it's not all it's cracked up to be" kind of response

I don't see why living near doctors and dentists should give them such a thrill. Sure they're lucky compared to some but it's all relative and very much the human condition as a pp said to feel a lack however much we have. People are either glass half full or they're not. If they are then that is a lucky way to be. If not, then you might as well trot out the 'people are starving/dying/homeless' argument because it really doesn't help to tell someone they're lucky if they're miserable. Whether you have to listen to them complaining is another matter and if you don't want to then distance yourself. You can only change how you act not expect them to perk up about it.

It is very much the people that make or break a place.

I've lived in quite a few different places that are all within the same 10 miles radius and for the most part, it's how the other people in the neighbourhood were that stays with me.

Where I am now is near perfect for me: shops, parks, close to the town centre so library, doctors, takeaways, nice pubs and restaurants all five minutes away. Schools ten minutes' walk away. But all that would fade into the background of the place if I didn't like the people. They are friendly, help each other out, and care for the community we have here. On the face of it, it's just another ubiquitous, bland English town, but there is very much a warm caring feeling about it, and that's what sticks out for me.

And obviously yes, some people just like to moan

Ugh I grew up in a touristy place in the north. Fucking hell it was dull.
Couldn't wait to leave.
Went away to uni and never moved back (could not have afforded a house there anyway).
Most boring place on earth.

@FaFoutis
Sounds like where I grew up.
Lots of twats in Barbour jackets with a Labrador and a Range Rover or a Porsche Cayenne. To look the part for the country. The traffic is horrendous, schools are really hard to get into.
Hardly anyone i went to school with stayed.

We lived in a significantly more affluent area previously. We both grew up there.

We moved to a council estate with a bad rep temporarily where we didn’t know anyone. We were going back when I finished mat leave. We’ve been here four years now & we’d never go back. We love our new home.

Our previous town has house prices sky rocketing & is a very much desired area. We hate it. It’s not where we grew up. The feel of the town has changed massively & there’s absolutely no sense of community left there. Most people would sell their right arm to live there