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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How old is too old for a bedtime story?

171 replies

Yabbers · 15/02/2019 21:05

We had a discussion at work about bedtime stories. My colleagues who have children the same age as mine say they stopped bedtime stories a few years ago. DD is 9 and loves me reading to her before bed (and I love it too) Occasionally if bedtime is late we don’t do one, but she really hates not getting one.

My colleagues say she is too old, but in my view if it’s something we both enjoy I’ll do it as long as she asks.

How old were yours when you stopped, is anyone still reading to older children at bedtime?

OP posts:
Wallabyone · 15/02/2019 22:29

My older two are 6.5 and 4. They both adore me reading to them, and we have two every evening, they each get to choose. My eldest is a very good reader, and once I/my husband have read to them and put them to bed, he will read a couple of chapters of his book (he has, tonight, finished The Ice Monster, and his delight and enjoyment were just brilliant). He still loves me reading even short picture books to them, and I really believe the experience is important for them.

AnnaMagnani · 15/02/2019 22:58

Well I'm 44 and have just persuaded DH to tell me a bedtime story.

he did look at me as if I had lost my marbles though

Osirus · 15/02/2019 23:01

I remember reading an interview with Brad Pitt once and he said his fondest childhood memory was being read to as a child ; he said the time spent with him was so much more special that anything material.

It is one my fondest memories too. My parents never read to me so it was my older sister, occasionally.

I loved it so much I learnt to read really quickly and I’d read a fair few Stephen King novels by the time I was 12.

Reading to a child is a gift. If you love it, and they love it, age really doesn’t come into it.

RhinestoneCowgirl · 15/02/2019 23:04

My DC are 10 and 12. We still read to them at bedtime, maybe not every single night like when they were small, but pretty regularly.

They are both fluent readers and perfectly capable of reading the books themselves, but we all like the reading aloud. I'll stop when they stop asking!

Sukochicha · 15/02/2019 23:07

I listen to audiobooks at bedtime!

Not sure there is really a cut off for reading to your children. When they go to bed later than you I suppose! [gein]

Fatasfook · 15/02/2019 23:09

Never let outsider opinion shape your family life.

mamalovebird · 15/02/2019 23:22

This thread has inspired me. DS wants to start reading Harry Potter as he got the set last xmas but I think he is a bit nervous at the task ahead and reverts back to his roald dahl and wimpy kid books.... It's occured to me that I could read them with him to get him going.... thanks to all you readers Smile

ineedaholidaynow · 15/02/2019 23:37

I know DS's old Primary School are encouraging parents to read to Y6 children, to help to expand their vocabulary. Think many parents had stopped before then, although we were still reading regularly to DS at that stage.

Still occasionally read to DS who is now in Y9.

It is really refreshing to read this thread to see many parents still reading to their children.

namechange123779 · 15/02/2019 23:39

My younger kids are 9 &10 we love bedtime reading, their big brother who's 16 will often come and read too & remember the books he loved at their age, it's a special time enjoy it for as long as it lasts xxx

PomBearWithAnOFRS · 15/02/2019 23:43

Never! I don't read to mine anymore, but when we go away camping I still do. They are 16, 14, and 12, and it's sort of a "guilty pleasure" but it's still part of our holiday rituals, and we enjoy it.
There are so many great books out there that we can enjoy together, it's nice.

Angie169 · 15/02/2019 23:46

I go to bed listing to radio 4 / 4extra every night listing to 'book at bed time ' or a drama , it helps me to relax and forget about work .
And I am just a bit older than most of the DCs mentioned on here Grin

Parky04 · 16/02/2019 00:07

No age limit IMO. As long as they want to hear a story then keep reading it.

Fluffymullet · 16/02/2019 00:44

My DC are only babies/toddlers and love books. In my head when they are older we will be snuggled up in bed reading Harry Potter or whatever they are into. I hope we can read together into the teens.

It slightly broke my heart someone said 5yo - I wont be ready to stop!!

Kokeshi123 · 16/02/2019 00:47

Reading comprehension does not fully catch up with listening comprehension until about 13, so reading books TO kids (and discussing the vocab, story etc.) allows them to access language they would not be able to access by themselves, which prepares them for reading higher level books independently later on. The longer parents read to kids, the better! If kids seem a bit old, audio books are a great option too. They can be played in the car or at bedtime etc.

MissLanesAmericanCousin · 16/02/2019 00:49

98

Kokeshi123 · 16/02/2019 00:50

To give an idea of what I mean: my kid is 7, and she might read Rainbow Fairies independently, but when I am reading TO her we might read Alice in Wonderland or the Hobbit, which would be a bit beyond her to read by herself.

IME, the people who stop reading to kids early and can't see the point of it, are the people who read TO kids the same kind/level of book that kids are already able to read themselves and don't think to expose them to something a bit more challenging, so they soon start to think "Oh, they can read it themselves, what is the point?" Like, they would read only stuff on the level of Rainbow Fairies TO a 7yo--personally, I wouldn't bother as they can read that kind of thing by themselves by that age in most cases.

AhhhHereItGoes · 16/02/2019 00:51

I'd happy get one from my parents now and I'm 29.

How miserable.

It's more for their sakes than the kids sakes they stopped I'll bet expect if they are that sour face their reading style isn't exciting

BusySnipingOnCallOfDuty · 16/02/2019 00:53

Ex of mine used to read me parts of whatever book he was reading. He was a tool, but I liked it.

My eldest learnt to read fast so I can't even remember reading to her but I still read with my nearly 8 year old, we share the reading.

Original poster
Yabbers · 16/02/2019 00:58

These are brilliant replies. I'm glad it seems I've a good few years of it ahead.

We read Twins at St Claire's ( full set done about 3 times now!). Currently working our way through Mallory towers. We tried HP bit it freaked her out.

She's a good independent reader and has an amazing vocabulary but does still ask what some words mean. It sometimes taxes my brain to explain some words which is fun!

I love hearing all your stories, especially those who read to each other as adults.

OP posts:
steff13 · 16/02/2019 01:00

I'm 41 and my daughter reads me a story every night. She's 8.

sunnyaussiegirl · 16/02/2019 01:05

never too late! I don't intend stopping until they ask! they are 11 and 7 and at the moment we have LOTR, HP 6 and Nevermoor on the go!

AmphetamineGazelle · 16/02/2019 01:09

Never. I treasure the memories of my dad reading to me. From Mr Men, to classics. He'd read for hours. I secretly love it when we stay at my parents' house and he reads to DD at bedtime.
My mum stopped him reading with me before I wanted him to. It took "ages and ages every bloody night" according to her. I did have audio books to fall asleep to. She used to get annoyed by those and storm in to switch them off.
I am on true crime podcasts atm. If anyone is interested The True Crime Enthusiast podcast is like Postman Pat reading a very macabre bedtime story.

LearningMySelfWorth · 16/02/2019 01:42

I was 11 and it stopped when my dad died. My mum refused to read to me. I'm in my 20's now and would happily have a bedtime story. I prefer to go to sleep listening to someone talking or telling me something. It's comforting.

Yaxalot · 16/02/2019 02:09

I didn't do bedtime stories with mine. They listened to audio books, but not at bedtime. They had audiobooks and I sometime read to them during the day but not often as I would run out of breath and found it tiring.

I did try bedtime stories a few times over the years as people suggested it helped with settling but I found bedtime stories drew out the bedtime routine and kept them awake so only tried a couple of times and then never bothered. We just had a quick chat and then all lights off and listened to calming music instead.

gokartdillydilly · 16/02/2019 02:22

I read to mine til they were 12/13. We went through the classics for children (Pollyanna, Little House on the Prairie, 101 Dalmatians, Peter Pan, Stuart Little, Charlotte's Webb, What Katy did etc).

We abandoned some that were too old-fashioned in their texts (Heidi and Little Women: better in updated versions or to watch as films).

And then my lovely daughters grew out of being read to. It may have been my fault... reading My Friend Flicka - an utter snotfest into the duvet. 12 yo daughter looking at me wailing and blowing snot into her bedding like I'm crazy. Next daughter, age 13, and it was A Monster Calls. Proper sobbing {me} whilst trying to explain what the monster represented in the story whilst the worst thing was happening to the best little fictional person.

So my kids have seen me blubbing my heart out, whilst listening to the most beautiful stories ever written.

If your kids want to be read to, read to them forever, or until they decide they're too old for it. Fiction is another world where everything is possible - the most incredible and exciting thing you can share with your children.

Mine, now 20 and 16, frequently remind me of all those wonderful stories, and I often shed a little tear at the thought of some of them...