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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To walk out and shut the door?

35 replies

EekThreek · 14/02/2019 20:46

Dd2, 3rd baby, sleeping progressively worse over last 6months. She's 12mo, I've been back at work since Nov and I'm exhausted.

She was waking 5-7 times a night, 3-4 of those after midnight. Last Friday I stopped bf in the night, I just couldn't take it any more. She has been waking fewer times but crying for longer as we rock her back to sleep.

Tonight though, she's been screaming since 7.15. Bedtime was a little late tonight, but come on! Dh has tried, I've tried. I don't know what else to do. So I'm going in every 5 mins to lie her back down, while she roars herself hoarse in between.

What else can I do??

OP posts:
hidinginthenightgarden · 14/02/2019 20:51

Not much. Will she take a bottle to help comfort at night?

LLOE7 · 14/02/2019 20:52

Have you considered co sleeping? Although I appreciate that could be difficult if you are trying to night wean.

Original poster
EekThreek · 14/02/2019 20:53

She's had a bedtime bottle for about 2 months now, and she gets water in a bottle after bedtime if she wakes. It's making no difference tonight. She's just roaring, whether she's held or not.

Dh is back in there again trying his best but she's just fighting him, and sleep.

OP posts:
Original poster
EekThreek · 14/02/2019 20:55

We coslept to start, until she started crawling over me and I wasn't sure what to do about bedtime. She needs to go up with the others, but if she's in next to us, does that mean one of us has to stay with her in case she wakes and crawls.out the side? In which case, when do me and dh spend time alone? That's the thing holding me back, else I would consider it again.

OP posts:
endofthelinefinally · 14/02/2019 20:57

Teething?
Ear infection?
Pain somewhere else?

Jackshouse · 14/02/2019 20:57

Put your mattress on the floor then she can’t fall out of bed. You can have ‘couple time’ in the living room.

Happyelfjokeday · 14/02/2019 20:59

Do you reckon if you took her for a drive in the car she would fall asleep? Obviously not a long term solution but if she’s super tired and mad now it could help for tonight?

Oysterbabe · 14/02/2019 21:01

She's probably coming down with something. When my DS did this a few weeks ago he developed hand, foot and mouth and was so,so poorly.
Get her up for a bit and comfort her, try again in half hour.

Happyelfjokeday · 14/02/2019 21:01

Either that or bring her downstairs for now & put some tv on & cuddle till she falls asleep? I think sometimes they just get so so tired & then mad that they just need something completely different... the usual tricks don’t work! To be clear... not to do it regularly but sounds like tonight is an extremely bad night and nothing ‘normal’ is working!

sometimesalways · 14/02/2019 21:02

Could she be getting ill and feeling achy, or teething? Do you think it would be worth trying some calpol?

werideatdawn · 14/02/2019 21:06

I cosleep with my 14 mo. He goes up when DC 1 and 2 go to bed, I feed him and lay with him for about 10 mins while he goes off to sleep and then come downstairs.
We have a super king size mattress on the floor at the moment so theres plenty of room for him to roll around and if he does crawl out of bed it's no distance to fall, although he hasn't so far.
We get a decent chunk of evening time together. He does wake for feeds sometimes but I don't really mind because I'm half asleep and he just latches on and we go back to sleep.
Do whatever feels right for you and what gets you all enough rest.

DocusDiplo · 14/02/2019 21:06

I'd probably give her milk to be honest but I'm soft like that. Wouldn't want her hungry.

DocusDiplo · 14/02/2019 21:06

I am not saying she Is hungry - just that I would try it.

Original poster
EekThreek · 14/02/2019 21:11

Tried calpol, she spat it out, typical.

Dh has taken her for a walk. She shut her eyes as soon as I put her in the pushchair, was almost entirely asleep by the time I'd strapped her in....

Perhaps she is coming down with something (again). It's been at least a week since she cleared her last cold, which I think is a new record since starting nursery! Wink

Thing is with putting the mattress on the floor, where would we put the bed base? And all the stuff currently stored in there? Grin

OP posts:
Doilooklikeatourist · 14/02/2019 21:12

I’d cosleep , feed her in the night and put up,with it ( ❤️)
But I knew she would be my last baby 👶

TwiceAsNice22 · 14/02/2019 21:19

I co slept with my twins (they were/ are the worst sleepers) I used a pool noodle under the fitted mattress to prevent them rolling off the bed.

Hopefully she sleeps soon! Good luck.

coffeeforone · 14/02/2019 21:20

If she's crying even when you hold her I'd guess teething or a bug, in which case you can't really do controlled crying.
Although when DS was teething and crying/wouldn't be held, we would leave him to self settle in his cot as he seemed to calm down much quicker than if we held him.

werideatdawn · 14/02/2019 21:28

Ah sorry can't answer the bed base problem as didn't have a storage type bed so we just dismantled the frame.
I hope she gets off to sleep soon. It's horrible when you're so tired it's overwhelming. I really love cosleeping as I feel so much better for it and I struggled so much with sleep deprivation with dc1 before I "discovered" bedsharing but I know it's not the best solution for everyone.

LizzieSiddal · 14/02/2019 21:33

We put a small bed next to our double, for Dd. She was 18 months and just wouldn’t settle in her own bed. She never woke again in the night and we all got quality sleep.

Original poster
EekThreek · 14/02/2019 21:43

DS was a shit sleeper too, he fed every 90mins for 18 months, even after I stopped bf he'd still wake every 90mins in the night. He slept with us then, but my mental health was in tatters. I'm utterly desperate to avoid that again.

If she was to come back in our room, I'd take the side off her cot and wedge it next to my side of the bed like I did when she was newborn, I'm just worried about what happens when she wakes. At the moment she stands up the side, but if shes level with our mattress she's just going to crawl over the bars! Or out the other side of the bed...

I was away with work earlier this week, so it's been a bit of a disrupted week so maybe there's also an element of that. But I'll keep an eye on her for illness, it wouldn't surprise me.

Shes fast asleep in the pushchair now, we're too scared to transfer her yet! Will figure that one out in a bit I suppose...

OP posts:
Original poster
EekThreek · 14/02/2019 21:46

@coffeeforone she's actually done that a couple of nights this week, it's the first time she's fallen asleep by herself since she was about 3mo (when she was a freakishly awesome sleeper).

I feel like I've trained her into bad sleep by feeding her so much, but old habits die hard (me) , and she seems particularly reluctant to let them go too!

OP posts:
MissSmiley · 14/02/2019 22:51

Have you tried just sitting next to the cot and holding her hand, or putting your hand on her back?
But I agree if she's that upset she's probably got an ear infection or some kind of pain going on
Poor you I do sympathise, been there done that

Original poster
EekThreek · 15/02/2019 05:08

Earlier in the week there were times we could just stand in her room after putting her down and she would fall asleep. Not tonight. She is fighting being touched if we put her down, pushing our hands away and rolling away.

I'm feeding her now. She woke up about 4.15 with a dirty nappy. She's only done a poo in the night a handful of times since she was a few weeks old, so I think it's significant. She wouldn't settle at all again after I changed her though, so she's had calpol and I'm feeding just to see if it helps.

Argh, I wish babies could talk!! Would be so much easier! Poor DD and DS to have to hear it too, it really upsets them Sad

OP posts:
OnlineAlienator · 15/02/2019 05:10

My bet would be going down with something and i'd try a dose of calpol?

Wherearemycrayons · 15/02/2019 06:53

What about reflux? Seems strange she would go to sleep sat up (pushchair)