To ask how naughty your 3 year old is...?

[hidinginthetoiletagain]

Mainly just so I can feel (hopefully) that I'm not alone!

My daughter is driving me batty at the moment. She never does what she's told without me having to repeat myself 3 times and then actually go over and physically prompt her. She can't stay in the house for more than about 2 hours without climbing the walls and basically just wondering around 'looking for trouble' (i.e. doing something she knows she's not allowed to do whilst shouting 'look at me Mummy!').

She never seems to stand still and has her hands in everything. I feel like I am constantly asking her not to do things. For example - 'no, don't put your hand in the nappy bin, no more toilet roll, don't play with the toilet brush, leave the soap alone' etc etc (a 5 minute sample from when I was trying to get her to wait 30 seconds whilst I peed in a public loo today).

She can't sit still still at the dinner table and is constantly reaching out to touch things on the window sill, pull at the curtains, take food off my plate etc. She says 'no' to EVERYTHING and it's all a battle - every item of clothing, teeth brush etc. etc. She doesn't sulk or throw tantrums (I don't think she has the attention span) but she is objectionable about every single thing!

We go out to do at least one activity a day and I try extremely hard to be patient with her but it is utterly exhausting. We also have a baby and I'm not really enjoying my maternity leave at all because I'm constantly having to battle with her.

I'm sure some of this behaviour is her adjusting to having a newish little brother, but please tell me I'm not the only one and it will get better???

Autumn that reminds me of something my friend told me her daughter said once (she's generally very placid and compliant but occasionally has a boggy). She'd had a massive meltdown in a very public place and had to be carried kicking and screaming to the car where she continued to scream for a further 30 minutes before calmly stating 'wow I really lost it just then. I suppose I just really wanted that chocolate'.

Thanks Adore some good tips there, especially about giving her something to play with in the toilet etc. It's kind of a vicious circle because I'm so bloody tired all the time I just end up with the pointless nagging... I didn't really notice her behaviour being particularly difficult before, I think she was just as 'busy', but I was more on top of it and could distract/redirect before I had to tell her off... Having two is very hard, I absolutely take my hat off to those who have any more!!

All three year olds are goblins. Actual goblins. It's a horrible age.

Thanks, @hidinginthetoiletagain I don't want to sound like a know-all knob (especially given the millions of parenting mistakes I make on a daily basis), but I'm far enough removed from the toddler years now to remember what worked with tricky ones. It's very hard work to pre-empty them, but arguably less awful than ending up nagging/being fed up. And having more than one increases the need for organisation and crowd control... I used to cart things around with me to keep them occupied/interested for emergencies. The thing that always really did the trick was this ridiculous tiny little Christmas cracker type toy - a yellow head thing on a spring. I had a little mantra for waking him up (he only came out on occasions when I needed them not to fiddle with stuff/make a nuisance of themselves). The DC were enraptured (he always got the "again, again" response). It helped that he never otherwise came out of hibernation.

God, it was hard work when they were little. It still is, now, but differently (and I was better with toddlers).

Pre-Empty? Interesting idea. Pre-empt....

My baby is also hitting the 'empathy cry' stage so every time she throws herself down fake crying because I gave her cheese when she'd asked for cheese or I won't give her a cup of coffee, he starts wailing too!

I have found others who understand me! Solidarity OP :) I have a 3.11 DS & 1 year old and am just broken from repeating myself, distracting and negotiating with my eldest terror! Always feeling guilty that his very chilled little brother never gets enough attention as big brother is such hard work. He is also truly a delight but sometimes he's really not!

3 is the hardest age in my experience (currently on my third three yr old). They no longer want to just do what makes mummy happy. They do not want to be told anything, and want to do everything themselves. They are opinionated and verbal so you feel like you should be able to instruct, or reason with them, but they are just totally unreasonable, and illogical in what they want/don’t want. They have strong opinions, but don’t really know why they feel that way! They are hard work. But they do grow out of it. (Won’t mention that when they get to 7 they become mini eye-rolling teenagers who are rude and disrespectful 😬).

Pre-emptying them actually sounds weirdly wonderful!

I am pretty badly organised and because she's pretty happy to go with the flow (she does have good qualities!) we've also been quite spur of the moment in terms of trips etc. I'm going to have to raise my game I think! God knows how I'll cope when they're teenagers I'm already about 100 years old...

@hidinginthetoiletagain yeah my kids Achilles heel is chocolate too!! Our local CoOp is called (in their heads) the 'chocolate shop'...I could kill my husband for that...just to put it into context, we don't force feed them chocolate everyday!! They also have a habit of pulling out their Maccy dees happy meal toys whenever their social worker is due to visit (for context they go there about once a month). But by god, I am sure they know it will shame me. These 3 year olds know what they are doing, be under no illusion (lighthearted, before flaming).

I have a 3 year old DD and 8 month old DD.
3 years old is such hard work, everything is such a battle. I don’t know if i’ve ever done anything as difficult as parenting a 3 year old. 8 month old is a delight but I have the fear when I think what she might be like in 2-3 years.

The empathy cry stage here didn't last long
.dd2. Soon became immune to dd1 tantrums and just started to stare at her like she was a particularly strange zoo animal.

Ah yes Autumn the instinct to bring shame upon your parents is both innate and universal...

Ranger, tbh I say 'empathy cry' it's more of a what the f**k is that horrible noise cry... (I'm often tempted to join in). What is most infuriating is that my daughter gets more if her display of abject misery and utter desolation in about 10 seconds or less and then it takes my a further 5 minutes of desperate insy winsy spider for me to calm down her brother...

bored of (not more if)

Normal op (though I'm sure you'll get some smug sounding so and so will love to come on and tell.you how perfect their kids were/are). As long as you're always firm and they have their needs met etc they grow out of it in time :)

Dimsum I think I love you

The good news is.by 4.5 they usually calm down a lot.My ds is nearly 5 and sooo much better than he used to be

My nearly 5 yr old is a nightmare at the moment. She has developmental delays (autism pathway) so maybe this is the threenager stage a bit late. I can cope with meltdowns (she can't help it- they're sensory and I'm used to them) but the constant defiance and stroppiness is driving me insane! I'm trying a gentle approach, which seems to work better with her than getting cross but arrrggghhh

My three year old has a melt down is I ask her to do anything. This morning so far I've had a paddy because I asked her to get dress and brush her teeth. No doubt another one when I ask to hold her hand crossing the road on the school run lol. Luckily she will play by herself a lot of the time. I just turned a blind eye now.

My boys were so easy when little but my girl put the drama in drama queen lol.