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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

"Happy Valentines Day'

34 replies

Iamnottheone · 13/02/2019 20:30

I've just seen the card DH has bought to give me tomorrow. It says 'Happy Valentines Day' Blush

I feel so sad. Usually he buys a funny wife, love you lots kind of card. The card he has bought could be for anyone...and has no love, no joy...just 'Happy Valentines Day'.

Please be gentle with me. I'm not being ungrateful...

OP posts:
Doje · 13/02/2019 20:31

Maybe he'll write all the funny lovey dovey stuff inside this year?

EwItsAHooman · 13/02/2019 20:32

I mean this gently but....

It is just a card. It is not a reflection on your marriage or your husband's feelings for you.

MightyAtlantic · 13/02/2019 20:33

OMG LTB!

gamerwidow · 13/02/2019 20:34

It couldn’t be for anyone though it’s a Valentine Card you only give them to the people you love.

Original poster
Iamnottheone · 13/02/2019 20:34

Oh but it is...

We've had a bad year but the last couple of months have been wonderful getting back on track. But this card just reaffirms that things have changed Sad

OP posts:
Snowflakes1122 · 13/02/2019 20:35

I wouldn’t have even noticed that. In fact, just checked the cars I got, and no husband is on the one I got either.

Yabu

VanillaSauce · 13/02/2019 20:36

Yeah that sounds dreadful

Seaseasea · 13/02/2019 20:37

Oh no this just reminded me I forgot to get a card and has similtaniously made me hope DP has got me a nice one...

gamerwidow · 13/02/2019 20:41

Well I’m sure you’ll get your relationship right back on track by making this non issue into something ....,

KenAdamsRealWife · 13/02/2019 20:41

Sounds like your over thinking this because of the tough patch you’ve had. Maybe wait and see what he writes inside...
actions do speak louder than words sometimes anyway, I’d review your relationship based on you both and reality not the card Smile

Original poster
Iamnottheone · 13/02/2019 20:42

...and so the mean comments begin SadBlush

OP posts:
LizzieSiddal · 13/02/2019 20:43

I don’t understand how you can judge the quality of your relationship by the card he gives you.
Maybe he really likes the picture or will write something nice inside?

Are there other issues going on here?

Original poster
Iamnottheone · 13/02/2019 20:43

Thank you kenadamsrealwife. That definitely makes sense.

OP posts:
WhiteDust · 13/02/2019 20:44

They may sound mean to you OP because for whatever reason you're feeling crap but really, it's a card. You need perspective.

BlitheringIdiots · 13/02/2019 20:46

I don't understand why married people give each other cards anyway. Valentines is to send anonymous cards to people you like but haven't had the courage to tell

It's yet another Hallmark holiday now.

Ellieboolou27 · 13/02/2019 20:50

Was just going to say what blithering said. I grew out of Valentine’s Day around 19-20. I really don’t get all the fuss.

slashlover · 13/02/2019 20:50

TBF, I work in a supermarket and over 80% of our cards will be sold tomorrow, at least he didn't wait until 6pm on the day. I think you're overthinking it.

rededucator · 13/02/2019 20:53

Blithering, the first ever valentines letter was written from St Valentines to his lover signed 'your valentine'. And the earliest recorded was from an imprisoned Duke to his wife. So, the secret aspect was only introduced relatively recently.

Pomello · 13/02/2019 20:56

ofgs Valentine's day. I'd get annoyed if I got a gesture on the 14 Feb

There are 365 days in the year. Do something spontaneous, imaginative or romantic on one of the other days!

So many people upset about nothing.

LuckyAmy1986 · 13/02/2019 20:59

I don’t care much for V Day but think it’s so mean for posters to comment how it means nothing and to get over it and to grow up etc. Life would be boring if we were all the same.

mydogisthebest · 13/02/2019 21:04

Pornello, me and DH are spontaneous, imaginative and romantic on lots of days of the year and one of those days is Valentines Day.

So many sneery posters who seem to think couples celebrating Valentines is sad or silly.

A poster "grew out" of Valentines aged 19-20!!! What a stupid comment. Plenty of couples celebrate it. Me and DH do and have been married 39 years. My parents do and have been married 67 years.

Original poster
Iamnottheone · 13/02/2019 21:11

The thread isn't about Valentines day....

OP posts:
Eliza9917 · 13/02/2019 21:16

Not sure whether it was last year or the year before but I told DP not to buy me a card as they are pointless and shit you have to keep but to get me a custard slice instead Grin

I did get him a card this year but that was only because Moonpig had a 3 for 2 offer and I was ordering an anniversary & bday card.

NotAgainSilly · 13/02/2019 21:18

I think you need a bit of perspective tbh.

Pomello · 13/02/2019 21:18

sorry, I've been single for 11 years (or at least, always single on Valentine's day) and it just gives you insight in to the unnecessary stress it causes. It's another day.

So long as your partner treats you well every day then that's what matters. I do think it's women who are unhappy in the relationship that feel the most disappointed on VD because it forces them to confront how disappointed they are. They get on with it the rest of the year.