Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

AIBU partner 'wasting' money on chiropractor?

79 replies

Rollercoaster1920 · 13/02/2019 20:30

I work, partner is a SAHP. Today I find out that they have just spent £150 on a chiropractor.

My partner has a bad back, but I'm annoyed because I think it is a lot of money, I don't believe in chiropractic medicine, £80 was for an x ray which seems pointless to me when you can see the shape of someone's spine. Also there is no money in the joint account until a few days time so has gone on a credit card.

If it was for physio and we had agreed the spend I think I'd have been supportive.

AIBU to be pissed off?

OP posts:

TedAndLola · 14/02/2019 11:07

good (and my mum has also had back problems fixed by one) why are they seen as alternative medicine? Is any work being done to look at their effectiveness?

There has been plenty of rigorous study. Chriopractic is nonsense. At best it's a placebo, at worse it has killed dozens of people through dangerous spine manipulation.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 14/02/2019 11:07

It's proven quackery

And your proof for that is...?

Mmmhmmm · 14/02/2019 11:07

Yanbu to be angry they didn't consult on a big purchase...but maybe it's because you don't "believe" in them. 🙄

Chiropractors are Wonderful! YABVVVU to try and dictate to your partner what help they can seek for their bad back because of your own prejudice.

MiraculousMarinette · 14/02/2019 11:12

@redandyellowandpinkandgreen99 to avoid prejudice and favouritism I guess? As in 'my SAH wife went to chiro without consulting me = financial abuse' over 'my SAH husband went to chiro without consulting me = he is a cocklodger'. In my opinion.

katseyes7 · 14/02/2019 11:15

Nearly three years ago l fell down an escalator. Ruptured the AC joint in my shoulder and compressed the vertebrae in my neck. All the doctors have done is send me for physio, which did absolutely nothing, and give me painkillers, which had limited effect.
A few weeks ago l was in so much pain l couldn't sleep, so l went to a chiropractor. l've never been to one before, but l had long term neck problems even before the fall, and l was desperate.
The initial consultation was £38 and the treatment £33. l slept like a log that night, and had no pain at all. l haven't taken any pain relief since. l've had one follow up appointment and we've agreed l won't go back unless l need to. l have arthritis, and l cannot believe the difference this man has made to my quality of life. lt was worth every penny to be out of pain.
However. l'm single and my money is my own. l wouldn't have paid £80 for an xray out of joint monies without asking first. Hopefully once the issue is alleviated, your husband should only need 'top up' sessions once in a while. Being in pain is exhausting and massively impacts your quality of life, but so does worrying about money.

dooryfish · 14/02/2019 11:18

My chiropractor is worth his weight in gold!

YABU to be annoyed because you don't agree with chiropractic treatment. It's not a load of woo! I found it to be quite the opposite and ten times better than physio.

YANBU to be annoyed a big sum of money was spent without agreement beforehand. Tbh I don't blame them though if that's your stance on it. It comes across as quite controlling.

StealthPolarBear · 14/02/2019 11:23

Bloody hell

youknowmedontyou · 14/02/2019 11:28

I work, partner is a SAHP. Today I find out that they have just spent £150 on a chiropractor.

What relevance is your working status or that of your partner?

What relevance is it that you don't believe in chiropractic medicine? It's not your back and it matters not on bit what you think! Do you practise medicine to know why an X-ray was needed? Mildly irritating it's gone on CC, but if your partner is in pain well they need treatment. If you've got money coming in shortly pay CC before any interest is due

If it was for physio and we had agreed the spend I think I'd have been supportive.

So if you sanction spending on what you want, even if it's not for you, that's fine. That's extremely controlling.

AIBU to be pissed off?*

Yes you are.

catsarebest · 14/02/2019 11:38

ciderhouserules That's what he tells me 'bit of massage and chat about yoga' twice a week for ten years. I know the name of the place he says he goes to. It's during his work day, so I've no idea what he's actually doing, but then also no real reason to doubt him. It seems a waste of both time and money to me, but he says it's helping him so I try not to say anything. But I must admit to getting annoyed when we're short of cash at times and he insists on £85 twice a month for his 'chiropractic appointments'.

An hour deep tissue back massage in our area is about £25 (if you book so many sessions in advance) and there's a yoga class near us for £5 for 45 mins class. So he could spend £30 for yoga and massage each week and still be cheaper than twice a month chiro visits. But like I said, he seems happy with what he's doing, so I try not to say anything.

Vixxxy · 14/02/2019 11:47

YANBU about a large expense taken without any discussion.

YABU saying he should't see a chiropractor because you don't believe it works., His condition, his choice.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/02/2019 11:52

MissingstreetLife
The pain clinic for drugs was arduous and unsuccessful. The clinicians go through nice guidelines one by one. The pain counselling was good. I also saw a professor of Physiotherapy - talking only. Only one in country. Now retired. Good.

I would suggest you try the steps with you gp. They should be able to get a copy of this or maybe online?

Step 1: TENS machine
Step 2: old style antidepressant eg amitripline low dose initially 20mg
Step 3: anticonvulsants - gabapentin / pregablin - both drugs traded in prisons for the high and addictive
Step 4: tramadol - amazing pain relief, renowned for side effects
Step 5: morphine / similar (eg oramorph)

I saw one privately. It is pricey at about £250 a consultation. But you will cut through the crap. Btw combining cocodamol and ibuprofen is as effective as taking morphine. I use proton pump inhibitor to protect my stomach and morphine as top up. Not much as it brings on hallucinations in sleep and sweating. I react to drugs.

ciderhouserules · 14/02/2019 11:57

£80 was for an x ray which seems pointless to me when you can see the shape of someone's spine. what do you mean, you can see the shape of someones spine? It's not necessarily the 'shape' of the spine, but the condition of the disks, and the gaps in between them. Which you can't see!

cats - he's having you on! £85 twice a month? Our appointments are £40. And if he's only getting a 'bit of massage' it's not chiro, and he should be saving his/your money. Get a sports massage appointment for him! Or go with him next time and ask some questions?

Chiropractic is nonsense - they train for 5 years to be a Chiro (as long as, if not longer, than a 'Medical' Doctor - and they don't need to learn to write prescriptions/drugs, so use the time that they are not learning that to go in depth into other areas. They are fully qualified, in a Medical field. Same as any other 'medical' professional.

crosstalk · 14/02/2019 12:15

You are totally reasonable in querying the amount of money and the fact it wasn't discussed. And reasonable to question chiro en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiropractic. Horrified to find some US chiros have supported anti-vax.

However in those wikipedia notes there seems to be some support for its efficacy in lower back pain. One of my relatives had a badly dislocated shoulder as a young boy and was in immense pain even after the shoulder was technically sorted by a doctor - the chiropractor manipulated the joint and arm and all of a sudden there was relief from pain and restoration of mobility. This is all anecdotal, though. Perhaps time for the GMC to revisit statistically?

youknowmedontyou · 14/02/2019 12:55

Has OP been back or is this one of those inflammatory posts and then disappear?

Missingstreetlife · 14/02/2019 15:47

Thanks to mummy and badbear

MrsTerryPratcett · 14/02/2019 15:52

OP pissed off then. Surprise surprise.

And for the absolutely tedious, "if this was reversed genders" I assumed the SAHP was a man. Something about the way it's written. I could be wrong, answer would be the same.

Troels · 14/02/2019 16:42

I love the two Chiropractors I've been to. Best money ever spent.
First one was after hurting my shoulder moving luggage when traveling. It took me over 2 years of the ache in my shoulder before I saw him. 6 visits and now 20 years later never had pain in that shoulder again.
Second one I started having pain in my hips. he said it was actually lower back, saw him about twice a year for 8 years and it kept me pain free. I wish I could see him again but we have moved and it's too far.
I've never had a Chiro x-ray me though. That bit seems odd.

LakieLady · 14/02/2019 16:56

I'd be lost without my chiro, or at least hobbling around in crippling pain. It's the only treatment I've ever had that has really made a long-term difference to my back and neck problems. She was recommended by my GP, and he's also a client of hers (I bumped into him in the waiting room once).

She also suggested I might have an underactive thyroid, and she was right.

maximumcarnage · 14/02/2019 17:03

He shouldn't have spent the money without first consulting with you first, especially if money is very tight.

As for not believing it, well you're perfectly entitled to your opinion. I disagree with it. I had bouts of very bad back pain for years. NHS were utterly useless and I had just learnt to deal with it. But occasionally a flare up got so bad it would literally take my breath away with the pain. I gave a Chiro a whirl because my boss said it worked wonders for him. Two treatments and I am completely fine. That was several years ago and still perfectly fine.

I would suggest if anyone had tried the usual conventional treatment and still were no better off, and they could spare the money definitely give it a try.

Mummyoflittledragon · 14/02/2019 18:04

MrsTP
Yes, no surprise. Didn’t get the answers he / she was looking for.

NameChangeNugget · 14/02/2019 18:19

Unbelievable attitude towards:
SAHP’s
Your partner

YABU

CheshireChat · 14/02/2019 18:43

Just because you're earning right now doesn't mean you get to decide alone what happens with the family money.

You could of course decide that anytime one of you spends over a certain amount, the two of you should have a chat about it, frankly I thought this was the norm for most people.

Lucked · 14/02/2019 18:52

Yes the X-ray was a colossal waste of money. Listed as one of the the things the NHS should stop doing to save money. They don’t change the management of patients.Either they should be managed symptomatically and with physiotherapy or clinically it is apparent they need consideration for surgery in which case you need an MRI.

DanielRicciardosSmile · 14/02/2019 18:58

This has to be a reverse.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 14/02/2019 19:09

I wonder WHY they had to do it on the sly. A normal person would discuss this, unless desperate and have been shut down previously.

Flip

1 2 3 4