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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel our weekend with friends

34 replies

Justforonequestion · 13/02/2019 19:41

We have been invited to stay with some friends this weekend at their country place. We made the plan weeks ago and I've been looking forward to it.

Unfortunately DD and DH are both ill. DD has had a week off school with flu, went back today but felt so awful she had to go straight to bed when she got home. I have said she shouldn't go in tomorrow although she wants to go. DH has the same flu and took three days off work (unheard of). He's now back at work but full of Lemsip etc (not great, obv).

In an ideal world we wouldn't be going away at the weekend- both DD and DH could do with a quiet time recovering rather than a busy weekend with friends (doing lots of outdoor activities and pub lunches was the plan).

I'm not sure what to do. Cancelling now seems incredibly rude, especially as I don't know whether either DD or DH will be formally unwell (if you see what I mean) at the weekend or just recuperating. On the other hand, it will be no fun if we turn up and the two of them are miserable or worse, still infectious.

WWYD?

OP posts:
getback · 13/02/2019 19:44

Yanbu to cancel.

Prepare yourself for a barrage of responses on how this can't possibly be flu unless your DH and DD are both sweaty writhing delirious wrecks on the floor.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 13/02/2019 19:45

I would ring and have a chat with them, explain what’s been going on. Hope you all feel better soon.

EmperorBallpitine · 13/02/2019 19:45

I would call the friends and talk it through with them. Two ill grumpy children seems a good reason not to go, but you can talk to your friend?

Chamomileteaplease · 13/02/2019 19:46

There is only 48 hours to go so I would assume that they will both still be feeling weak and woolly.

I would cancel, apologise profusely, explaining that it would be no fun for anyone with them feeling so rubbish. Ask if you can make another date now so that you can look forward to it and so that they know you do really want to go when you are all feeling well again.

Everyone gets ill sometimes, hopefully they will understand.

ASqueakingInTheShrubbery · 13/02/2019 19:48

Would it be an option for you to go and let the convalescents stay at home?

TheWomanin12B · 13/02/2019 19:52

Call them now before they spend hours tidying and preparing for your visit! I don't think you're unreasonable to cancel. You'll wouldn't want to pass it on either.

blackteasplease · 13/02/2019 19:54

Yes I would cancel but PHONE THEM and talk it over properly. With apology even though you can't actually help it. Normal people will understand that. A text message or similar will look like you don't care or think they are important.

Bluntness100 · 13/02/2019 19:55

I think if they are both back at work and school,then it's really about rhe energy, just limit the outdoor activities in line with that and extend lie ins and pub lunches.

Original poster
Justforonequestion · 13/02/2019 19:56

Thanks, all.

Blackteas, you're right, I must do it by phone- I am dreading it though!

OP posts:
sackrifice · 13/02/2019 19:59

Why are you dreading it? These things happen.

Geminijes · 13/02/2019 20:01

Ask your husband and daughter what they want to do? They may still want to go.

IvanaPee · 13/02/2019 20:03

Why are you dreading it? People get sick. It happens!

Rainbowshine · 13/02/2019 20:03

If it were me you were visiting, I’d rather have you tell me now than later so I didn’t clean, tidy and all that for nothing. Also I could then make different plans for the weekend. Just have an alternative date to suggest if it helps you to make the call.

Sciurus83 · 13/02/2019 20:07

Just call them now it's absolutely fine. I assume there's no costs that would need to be covered?

BlueJava · 13/02/2019 20:10

I would ring and tell them they feel like crap and you think you might still be infectious.

bumblenbean · 13/02/2019 20:14

Don’t think it’s rude OP. It’s not as if you’ve made other plans or just can’t be arsed!

To be honest they would probably rather you didn’t go if DH and DD will still be potentially infectious anyway! Good luck.

ForalltheSaints · 13/02/2019 20:17

Better to cancel now on Wednesday than on Friday afternoon. Talk to them. Hope DH and DD get better soon.

Stripyhoglets · 13/02/2019 20:19

If ring the freinds and emphasise that the family might still be infectious and how ill they've been. Dont want to spread it to them . I'd not want you staying with me and you might be brewing it as well.

SpanielEars070 · 13/02/2019 20:22

Nothing worse than people deliberately spreading germs around. Do it when you all feel up to it.

Atalune · 13/02/2019 20:25

Please ring and talk it through.

I myself wouldn’t mind you coming and would adjust accordingly.

Lazy pub lunches and shorter walks. Early nights and hot toddies. Sounds divine actually!

IdaBWells · 13/02/2019 20:26

I agree, get it over with ASAP and be kind to your friends by giving them plenty of notice. It really isn’t a good idea to be dragging two people off for the weekend recovering from something serious enough to put them both in bed for days. Also you will all be able to enjoy a weekend together much better at a later date.

allthegoodusernameshavegone · 13/02/2019 20:36

It would be rude to go

eggsandwich · 13/02/2019 20:39

Definitely cancel and believe me they will thankyou for it, it sounds like they’ve got that fluey virus thats doing the rounds, we’ve all had it my dd had it first and a few weeks later got it again this time she was off school today with it as she felt rough this morning.

Hopefully with half term starting next week we can get rid of it once and for all.

I hate with a passion when people insist on visiting when they know they’re unwell, my dh went to visit his mum, sister and bil with a very heavy cold, I told him not too or at least tell them you’ve got a cold so they can decide for themselves but he didn’t and went anyway and they all came down with it the following week, his mum ended up with a chest infection bless her.

I told him he was selfish.

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 13/02/2019 20:43

Agree with PP's

I would be much happier to know now-save all the frantic tidying and also save them from buying food that won't be eaten and other unnecessary prep.

Much ruder to leave til last minute-especially as it will be obvious that they have been ill and you could have given the heads up sooner!

these things happen-it's how you handle it that makes a difference

mumsiedarlingrevolta · 13/02/2019 20:44

*obvious to them that you have been ill

no idea what I was typing

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