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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be pissed at dh?

32 replies

Ivehadthisnamemostofmylife · 12/02/2019 16:08

Not sure if I'm being unreasonable or hormonal!!

Currently 38 weeks pregnant and at hopefully last growth scan as baby has been measuring small. I also need for the consultant to sign off today for me to deliver in the MLU and not the ward.

Came out of my scan which lasted longer than usual due to them having a training afternoon (half hour of being pressed with a full bladder....ouch!) to find a missed call from my older daughters school and a message from my husband saying school have called him, what do they want? This message was 15 minutes ago so called him to find out he hasn't actually called them back.

Phoned school to be told my daughter is feeling under the weather (no vomiting but is pale, no appetite, complaining of stomach ache) explained I'm at the hospital for scan and I will call my husband and arrange for him to collect her.

Speak to husband and he pulls a face at having to leave work early (he's a chef but service was over and it was just clean down to do, ball ache for his team I know but surely better than me having to miss clinic?) He asked me to phone school and say he's on his way and I asked him to as waiting to be called in to midwife and if you're not there they move on to the next one and you and up waiting ages.

Called him after seeing midwife and waiting to see consultant ... about an hour later...to find he hasn't spoken to school and is just leaving work so about another 20 minutes away

Am I being unreasonable to be completely pissed off at him??

OP posts:

Auntiepatricia · 12/02/2019 16:10

I’d be furious. He clearly doesn’t see family as any sort of priority.

Quartz2208 · 12/02/2019 16:11

Nope not at all - and why did he need you to do the calls to the school (as clearly they have his number)

Shoxfordian · 12/02/2019 16:11

He's not acting like a father
Wtf is he up to?!

IWantMyHatBack · 12/02/2019 16:12

What a dick

DanglyBangly · 12/02/2019 16:12

Yep, I’d be cross with him for that.

sadkoala · 12/02/2019 16:13

WTF is he doing?

DanglyBangly · 12/02/2019 16:14

a message from my husband saying school have called him, what do they want? This message was 15 minutes ago so called him to find out he hasn't actually called them back.

This bit annoyed me before you even got to the rest of it.

Alloftheboys · 12/02/2019 16:16

Is he normally this useless? Or did he not think to call the school himself?
He was unreasonable for not going to pick your daughter up.

ClarabellaCTL · 12/02/2019 16:17

I'd be raging too!

BitOutOfPractice · 12/02/2019 16:18

it's quite clear where he sees responsibility for the DC lying isn't it?

TinselAndKnickers · 12/02/2019 16:19

He sounds like an arsehole. Why did he text you to see what they wanted?! Laziness at its finest

teenybean · 12/02/2019 16:21

Is dd his dd?

teenybean · 12/02/2019 16:21

Not that it should matter though

wonderingsoul · 12/02/2019 16:22

Ydnbu

What if she had been seriously ill. He is acting like he doesn't care about his daughter or your new baby.

I would be really really hurt over this and would be questioning hes skills at being a parent.

Mummyoflittledragon · 12/02/2019 16:22

Instead of calling the school he called you. Ffs. Yeh I’d be pissed off for that already. As for the rest I’d be fuming. I take it you take care of your dd when she’s ill. I get it’s difficult for a chef but..... HIBVU

curiositykilledthekat22 · 12/02/2019 16:24

Why do you have to do everything for him? Can he not phone the school himself?

Original poster

Ivehadthisnamemostofmylife · 12/02/2019 16:25

Nice to know I'm not being unreasonable and others agree with me before I completely lose it with him, I think being pregnant I put much more down to pregnancy hormones than I should.

He isn't usually useless and is a good dad but it's just when she is ill and needs picking up it feel as though she is an inconvenience to him and I hate that!

Admittedly, I do tend to call him first to see if he can leave work as I can be working anything up to an hour and a half away. Just sods law it had to happen today when I'm off for the next 9 months!

OP posts:

pictish · 12/02/2019 16:34

I agree with everyone else. I’d be pissed off with him, yes. BUT wait till you hear him out before going postal just in case there’s a reasonable explanation (unlikely).

If instinct says this is in-keeping with how he is/his attitude then you’re probably right. He saw this task as inconvenient and more importantly, beneath him.

vintanner · 12/02/2019 16:45

With his sense of responsibility, I really wouldn't want to eat anything he had cooked.

He should have rung the school back immediately and gone to collect dd, you were just as busy as him, but YOU were in no position to leave.

He needs a kick up the backside.

StormTreader · 12/02/2019 17:04

He obviously sees you as his PA, you need to nip that in the bud right away or that'll be the entirety of the rest of your life for anything he doesn't fancy dealing with.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 12/02/2019 17:12

Children are inconvenient, but if you have them then you have to be responsible about it. He was useless today.

Graphista · 12/02/2019 17:13

"a message from my husband saying school have called him, what do they want? This message was 15 minutes ago so called him to find out he hasn't actually called them back.

This bit annoyed me before you even got to the rest of it." Yep me too!

Does he need told to tie his shoes too?!

"He isn't usually useless and is a good dad" let me guess - only when it's convenient to him though? Does he take time off work or rearrange shifts eg parents evenings etc? Or is that all left to you too? Does he make sure dd has PE kit on right days etc? (Think I can guess the answer)

BabynamehelpArgh · 12/02/2019 21:01

On a separate note....why did you have a full bladder? I’ve always been told you don’t need one for scans apart from in the early days when the baby/womb is so tiny the bladder needs to be moved aside... at 38 weeks the baby is much bigger than the bladder? Just curious

BlueJava · 12/02/2019 21:04

Hear him out as to why first - maybe he's worried about time off and losing his job or something. I know it's not fair on the employer's part if they do that but it does happen.

Original poster

Ivehadthisnamemostofmylife · 12/02/2019 22:48

I know he's worried about finances and job security and he has apologised for the way he acted when he knows I was already stressed. Not made any better by our DD6 admitting she didn't really feel unwell, just wanted to come home because she missed us.

babyname my letters always state full bladder and before I go for the scan she always gets me to empty it. Today she didn't and actually commented that my bladder wasn't completely full even though it felt it and asked if I'd been told not to

OP posts:

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