To be strict about video games?

[balinesecat]

We allow the kids to play video games but with time limits and stick strictly to the age ratings.

DS is still in primary school but has friends whose parents are buying them 12, 16 and even 18-rated games. He gets to have a go when he's over at theirs. Those kids then expect to play those games when they come over to ours - of course they get a hard no. But I'm a bit put out that some parents seem to be totally laissez faire about this.

AIBU to think these parents are being irresponsible allowing their kids to play mature-rated video games? Or am I just being a prude?

titsalina Fair dues for the Fortnite ban, are battling it at the moment, not wanting to outright ban but the temper coming off them is ridiculous. We felt if we banned it it makes them want it more and we're not texting them managing their temper and time on Fortnite but level handedness only lasts so long. God I hate that game!!!

@CurtainsOpen

Monopoly. One person wins the games in the first half hour. Everyone else has to sit there losing for the next however many hours. Or two people are neck and neck for hours and one bad dice rolls decides the games. In both cases high investment (either time or competitiveness) low reward and we wonder why it causes arguments. Risk and Hotel also fall into these categories

Game of thrones the board game. Unless you do a stealth win, you have to form alliances then stab other people in the back to win. High investment (your relationships!! especially if there are couples playing) low reward (everyone but the winning player will likely be deliberately screwed over).

Co-op games sometimes. All is good until one player decides the best move is the one everyone else can see will lose the game.

Best games for temper are those with a quick round format, or have a bit of backwards and forthing or arent entirely clear over whose one until scores after.

You're not being pride, however these rating are sometimes totally off...
We have a policy that if our son (13) want's a new game he let's us know and we trial it. Sometimes it's just a few videos, sometimes dl and try a few levels.
More times than not the restriction seems to be bonkers.
The things that didn't make it through our filter: any fps, gta.
Apart from that he's been playing StarCraft since he was 8.
Officially: "Age Rating for StarCraft. The content of this game is suitable for persons aged 16 years and over only. It contains: Realistic looking violence."
Realistically: it's a very complex strategy game. Supervised so no videos are watched and it's fine. And it also is great for strategic thinking development.

We don't allow any 18s whatsoever to our kids, but they do play mostly 12s and one 16. But we always look at the game and reviews etc first and if there is any nastiness in it they can't have it. If any bad behaviour comes out of playing certain games they get banned from that game. They're pretty sensible - my 11 year old came home wanting Red Dead Redemption as some of his friends had it (!) and I looked it up and told him about the nasty stuff in it and he agreed that it wouldn't be a good game to play (not that we'd have let him, anyway!)

I think its fine to protect kids! Like people said there are borderline titles like Zelda and Smash bros that are up there because of the moderate violence but with out you playing them your self you wouldn't know houses where GTA is acceptable usually either have older siblings or parents who play in my experience

I think you have to have a look at each game on its own merits. I ask people who game about different ones. GTA for example, I had a lot of reservations, but the world it’s crafted is amazingly detailed. We chatted about it, and I let him play it.

I’ve been there and back with this, my sons friends parents seem to be much more lax than me.

Now I don’t put limits on. It was such a battle. He’s 16 now. What I do instead is ensure he gets plenty of time outside with his friends, sports / gym, does his homework and tidies his room. That naturally limits his game time and usually he’s very keen to go out to meet his mates, and uses gaming for wheh no one is around. They chat and play the same games.

Just a quick one - lot's of discussion about Fortnite here. Whilst a lot of chat is about how much time you should allow kids to have on the game, we did make a parents' guide to Fortnite if you'd like to know a bit more about the game and safety concerns that surround it.

Hope it's helpful

You are being too general. Depends on the game. Like a film or a tv programme.

Plus the child. Ds1 is incredibly mature, always has been and nothing ever phases him or frightens him. He's very much like me.
Ds2 is more sensitive.

Oblomov19
Don't you think that's a bit of a dangerous assumption though?
Just because a child doesn't externally project how much they are affected by something, that doesn't mean they aren't affected?

DD1 is terrible at bottling stuff up - to look at her, she comes across as a proper cold fish a lot of the time, but really she's feeling the same things as her much more outwardly emotional brother.

Obviously, if you've talked it through with them and they're happy this is different.

In our house, I think we have been, and will continue to try and be realistic about things.

At 13, DS1 isn't allowed to play any games that are beyond his age rating (mainly because most of the games I play are 18s).

If there was a specific 16 game he wanted to play, I think we'd see.
When he's 16, if he asks to play 18 games, it will depend on how mature he is.

However I'm conscious that by that age, there's not much he won't have been able to see on YouTube etc, however careful we try to be with phones, computers etc.

He's quite a sensitive fellow though, and usually we can talk things through, and he will recognise when something might have the potential to upset him, and will self-regulate.

Fortnite has always been banned in our house - not for age-ratings or violence (they all play Minecraft), but because of the stories of rage and temper issues we've heard from almost 100% of fellow parents who have allowed the game.

In fact I've yet to meet a parent that hasn't told us we were sensible for not allowing it.

I taught a session at my sons primary school the other day and some of the boys were talking about Call of duty & fortnite and asked me if my son was allowed to play them (they are year younger than him) I said no as he wasn't old enough for the age ratings. They decided I must be the meanest mother in the world. (Although one asked me if it was because we were poor )
I find it easier to have clear consistent rules and after talking to other parents I'm glad that I'm not constantly fighting DS over this.
I've explained to him my reasons and although he's disappointed, I've pointed out there are millions of things to do in this world and he's only missing out on a tiny thing, he's accepted this and has found other things to do.

YABU to feel "put out" about anything another parent does. It's their choice

It's their choice to allow their own DC play violent games but they shouldn't assume that other parents are ok with their kids playing those games at their house. Not without checking with them first.

Don't be influenced by others. Stick to your rules and be proud you are doing the right thing

The way I see it, I'm 14. When I was 11 I was (and still am) struggling with depression, anxiety, make to female dysphoria, grief, bullying. I played warframe (still not sure why it's an 18, other than gore and language which can be turned off) as an escape. Since then I can handle practically anything.

My Ds is 13.5. I cant reacall exactly but he was allowed to play 12s at primary age and some 16s from secondary. He is now allowed all 16 games without having to check with me first. We have a blanket ban on anything with an 18 tag. Most of his friends are allowed to play. On occasion he will badger me for a week or two about a particular game but I always stick to ‘No, it’s an 18’. I have said that when he is 14 we will discuss it again. I am likely to start allowing him access to 18s gradually by researching each game (a blanket ban is easier)! I have said GTA is never coming in this house but suspect I will relent at some point. Common sense media is a good resource.

My nearly 14 year old son has recently started playing GTA. He had been pestering us for a good couple of years to get this game and we had always said no way because of what we'd heard about violence/strip clubs etc. He showed me youtube videos of the kind of thing he wanted to do that involved designing cars and roleplaying as police so we eventually allowed it but with strict supervision. He's part of a group on a server that roleplay and he was 'interviewed' for an LAPD role. I am amazed at the knowledge he has gained and is able to trot out laws and penal codes. They play according to the real life rules. He knows LA like the back of his hand although we have never visited there. His dream is now to go there and has even looked at career opps in the UK police. For a boy who is not keen on writing he has also produced pages and pages of typed documents for rules of the server, police enforcement laws, interview questions for new joiners. He talks with people in Norway, Sweden, US, Germany. We are always within earshot and he knows any bad language or aggression and it's switched off. I know he needs supervision as there are other servers using it differently but so far he's not gone near them.

From what I've seen, 18's pretty much deserve it but the 16's and below have some extremely arbitrary criteria.

Star Wars Battlefront. Is violent in the same way Star Wars (U) is. The hardest language in it is 'Rebel Scum'. It's a 16.

Tbh just check the play through videos online. They should give you an idea of suitability for your child.

I haven't seen this mentioned yet, so I just wanted to say, occasionally the age rating of a game has to do with that game's perceived difficulty as well as it's themes. Simulation games such as Planet Zoo or Rollercoaster Tycoon (great games), are sometimes touted as 12+, simply because younger children might not yet understand how to play the game successfully. Some boardgames are similar.

I play all sorts of games (including GTA, CoD etc) and imo age ratings mean different things depending on the game. My mother let me play GTA from age 11 and I'm well-adjusted, but I'd probably say 15 - 16 on that one. 18 always seems very much over the top imo, for games as well as films.

Mine are 9 and 6. We do allow Minecraft and my eldest is allowed to play on the servers, but he has to be using our main pc or DH's laptop in the same room as me or DH. So far he's proved to not be a numpty about it. There are some great mini games on the servers!
However both DH and I love gaming and know we're potentially at risk of being a bit addictive about it. Hence our no Fortnite rule. It's not that the game itself is intrinsically awful, but it's so addictive. Not really worth it!
We have a lot of games on Steam. If you're after a really good sandbox sci fi building game I recommend Space Engineers. It's like space Minecraft on steroids!
There's also a good one called Car Mechanic Simulator. Create and build any car you like, even learn about how cars work. No violence involved.

Ill be the first to admit I am pretty lenient about video games. For us its a way for my sons to stay connected through lots and lots of distance. Its nice to hear my 12 yo (living in the states) hanging out playing Fortnite and yes GTA online with his oldest brother who lives in NewMarket. These games allow them to jave a common interest and helps them relate through the distance and the huge age difference

@AngryParent456...How exactly is he setting shit on fire