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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Fireguard for toddler, a must or not?

45 replies

Ch0c0late7 · 11/02/2019 17:07

My 2 year old goes to a friend one day a week so I can work, she’s not a registered childminder but she also watches another friends’ children. It’s always concerned me that she has no fireguard over her wood burning stove and by the time I pick my child up, she has 5 children in her care. Often when I go to collect, my child and other kids are in the living room with the fire on and she is in kitchen cooking dinner. Just recently her son fell and burnt his hand quite badly on stove but she still hasn’t put fire guard up. I offered her our old fire guard as we had to buy a different one when we moved house but she turned down offer and said she has one though I’ve never seen it used. Now my biggest problem is with my husband who doesn’t want me to say anything for fear we offend her and my parents who are telling me I must do what my husband says, and just drop the issue and trust that my daughter will be ok. I feel so unsupported on what I feel is an important issue. At present I feel only issue is to stop sending my child there. My said to me if I do that I will “be cutting my nose off to spite my face”, I’m hurt at that comment as I’m not trying to spite anyone, just want my daughter to be in a safe environment. I’m not being unreasonable am I? Thanks

OP posts:

pineappletower · 11/02/2019 17:09

No, she should be using a guard. Even one on one, a child can trip and fall. With 5 in a room and no supervision it seems bloody bonkers.

EyUpOurKid · 11/02/2019 17:11

I would not send my two year old there.

Spudlet · 11/02/2019 17:11

YANBU at all. DS is fascinated by our woodburner and would certainly have touched it by now without the guard - and that's without factoring in the risk of a fall and a hand instinctively flung out and hitting the hot metal... and those things do get incredibly hot. Even if they were being properly supervised (which they are obviously not being!) it could happen in a second, with multiple children running around playing.

I would not have my DS there for anything. And I'm a pretty laidback type about risk, but the potential consequences are just too serious. It makes me feel a little bit sick to think of.

Dragongirl10 · 11/02/2019 17:12

Op stop worrying what your DH and parents say, this is clearly dangerous and l wouldn't let my child go there full stop.

If your DH and parents cannot see the danger they are frankly stupid.

Purpleartichoke · 11/02/2019 17:13

Honestly, I would not trust this person to watch your child another day.

Hire someone qualified to do the job of keeping your child safe.

chipsandcurrysaucemonster · 11/02/2019 17:13

I would never ever send my child there. She's been warned and already had a child suffer a burn and your husband doesn't want you to raise it with her?! Madness

MaybeDoctor · 11/02/2019 17:14

Please don't send your two-year-old child there. Find proper registered and inspected provision. It really is not worth the risk.

Confusedbeetle · 11/02/2019 17:14

Not unreasonable. You have offered her a fireguard. Actually it should be one of the square ones that fix to the wall. It is not unreasonable to say that while you love the care, you cannot rest with an unguarded stove. Offer a guard again

MayFayner · 11/02/2019 17:14

I wouldn’t send my child there, no.

We have a stove but we usually only light it after the DC go to bed.

Not a hope in hell I would have friends’ DC playing around an unguarded stove.

SweetheartNeckline · 11/02/2019 17:14

If she's not a registered childminder (so technically is doing you a favour) then you don't really have the right to ask anything pf her. Her house, her choice. By all means mention it to her (offer to buy a fireguard?) but with no expectation that she actually does this.

If you think she's unable to adequately look after 5 children then you need to remove your child. Is your DH pissed off as he'll have to contribute to the paid childcare alternative?

You're not "cutting of your nose to spite your face", you're being a responsible parent.

EmmaGrundyForPM · 11/02/2019 17:15

Is your friend charging you? In which case by law she has to be registered and regulated by Ofsted.

That aside, it's ludicrous to not have a fireguard if she has 5 toddlers/small children in the room. Especially if she is leaving them unsupervised even whilst she goes to the loo.

Find yourself a properly registered childminder before your son sustains an injury

JumpOrBePushed · 11/02/2019 17:19

YANBU, she should be using a fireguard if she’s using the wood burning stove with children around, they get very very hot when in use.

It would worry me that she’s still not put a fire guard up even after the risk has been clearly demonstrated by her son falling and burning his hand.

It’s something that I’d definitely speak to her about if I wanted my child to continue going there, because the continued failure to use a fire guard is something that I’d consider to be an unacceptable risk to my child’s safety.

CherryPavlova · 11/02/2019 17:20

If she as children for more than two hours and receives payment she needs to register. I can’t beli she’s having five children regularly for free.
She’s liable to be fined if she’s working unregistered.

The fire isn’t safe. Have you or she seen or smelt a child with serious burns? It’s not nice. There should be a nursery fire guard that is fixed to the wall and can’t be moved. It should be big enough to ensure children are kept at a safe distance from the heat source.

I’d worry less about cutting my nose off, less about causing offence and more about the very real risk to my child.

Countrymum4 · 11/02/2019 17:25

We actually just pay her in cash. But I agree with what others are saying, if she’s prepared to take this risk even after her son was badly burnt, then I don’t feel I can trust her with safety. I’m laid back about most things, never make a fuss about bumps and scratches etc but this just feels too risky. It’s part of a bigger issue where my husband wants to keep in with the friendship group and never wants me to say anything that will rock the boat. I’m so angry that he puts popularity above the safety of our daughter and annoyed at my parents for telling me to do what he says. The people I should be supported by the most. Thanks for making me feel that I’m not nuts making an issue out of this!

Countrymum4 · 11/02/2019 17:27

2 of the children are her own and they’re only there come 3pm after school and pick up my daughter at 5pm. The other 2 kids are another friends’ kids. I’d hoped the informal arrangement would work but clearly I was wrong! Thanks

planespotting · 11/02/2019 17:28

We have a guard. No way I would be without.

Spudlet · 11/02/2019 17:29

Pretty sure that even paying cash still makes her a childminder, who should be registered and inspected? Either way - you are in the right here op. No way should any small child be in a room with an unguarded fire. It's just too risky. Our guard was only £20-odd, so it's not even a costly business!

Purplepricklesalloverhisback · 11/02/2019 17:30

No chance my child would be going there. If she is so lapse about this then what else is she compromising safety on?

Any lit fire should have a guard until children are much older. Even with supervision a child could be playing and fall into it.

BackforGood · 11/02/2019 17:31

I presumed this was going to be about your own home, and I'd still have said yes - a fireguard is a must unless you have a fire that is just for show and never turned on (except potentially late in the evening when they are in bed).

The situation you describe is shocking though.
There is no way she should be looking after all those children without being regulated - the whole point of regulation is to try to give parents some reassurance that their children will be safe.

She is putting all those children at risk.
Seriously, if I knew that much I would be reporting her - letting OFSTED and the LA know that she was operating as a CMer without registering.
I certainly wouldn't let her look after my dc.
I'm as laid back as they come, but, if she continues to put all the children at risk over something
i) you have pointed out to her
ii) has already caused an injury
iii) you have offered a solution to
iv) the solution isn't going to cost her anything

..... then in what other ways is she also putting children at risk ?

EmmaGrundyForPM · 11/02/2019 17:31

OP have you name changed?
It doesn't matter if you pay her in cash or by bank transfer, she legally has to register as an accredited childminder and be regulated accordingly.

Isadora2007 · 11/02/2019 17:34

She is breaking the law by taking cash payments and not being registered. She is clearly not wanting the hassle of being registered and safe. She would NOT be an option to take care of my 2 year old.

That aside I don’t think a firegautd nor many “safety” devices are actually necessary for a home setting- but in a childcare setting it’s a whole different ballgame.

anatol · 11/02/2019 17:37

I got burned really badly as an 11 year old on a wood burning stove. It was my own fault and I was doing something stupid but I would absolutely never let a toddler go to a house with any kind of fire that doesn't have a guard.

EwItsAHooman · 11/02/2019 17:38

She's operating as an unregistered childminder which is illegal. The penalty if she is caught can be an unlimited fine and/or imprisonment. She probably isn't first trained, won't have had any safeguarding training, won't be food hygiene trained, won't have risk assessments (as this matter has shown), won't have been inspected, won't be DBS checked and neither will any of the other adults in the house, and won't be following the EYFS.

You get what you pay for with childcare and you're paying for an untrained, illegal childminder.

TheNoodlesIncident · 11/02/2019 17:39

I'm amazed her own child has been hurt and she still hasn't put a guard in place??? That's not being lax, that's knowingly putting children at risk.

I wouldn't be trusting her with my child, sorry OP.

Countrymum4 · 11/02/2019 17:45

Thanks everyone! Really appreciate that you share my views and reassured I’m not the bonkers one. Now to deal with my husband and parents. I can’t even bare to speak to them the way they’ve made me feel. My mum said this morning that I have to stop making an issue of this and put my marriage first . My husband hates any kind of confrontation and is keen to stay popular whereas I’m principled and my child’s safety will always come first. P.s. yes I changed my username, didn’t realise that would appear, I’m new to mumsnet, felt lacking in places to turn to for advice after being let down by those closest to me

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