Fireguard for toddler, a must or not?

[Ch0c0late7]

My 2 year old goes to a friend one day a week so I can work, she’s not a registered childminder but she also watches another friends’ children. It’s always concerned me that she has no fireguard over her wood burning stove and by the time I pick my child up, she has 5 children in her care. Often when I go to collect, my child and other kids are in the living room with the fire on and she is in kitchen cooking dinner. Just recently her son fell and burnt his hand quite badly on stove but she still hasn’t put fire guard up. I offered her our old fire guard as we had to buy a different one when we moved house but she turned down offer and said she has one though I’ve never seen it used. Now my biggest problem is with my husband who doesn’t want me to say anything for fear we offend her and my parents who are telling me I must do what my husband says, and just drop the issue and trust that my daughter will be ok. I feel so unsupported on what I feel is an important issue. At present I feel only issue is to stop sending my child there. My said to me if I do that I will “be cutting my nose off to spite my face”, I’m hurt at that comment as I’m not trying to spite anyone, just want my daughter to be in a safe environment. I’m not being unreasonable am I? Thanks

My 19 year old nephew still has scars on his hands from hugging a woodburning stove when he was 2. I would ask that she uses a fireguard!

you don't have to fall out, but if you are not happy, you have to stop letting your child go there alone. 2 is a bit young for that anyway, I reckon.

This is why childminders have to be registered and inspected. That’s part of what you’re paying for.

However you’re paying her (cash or otherwise) she’s still supposed to be registered.

Don’t send your child there for goodness sake. Find a proper childcare.

Well I'm guessing everyone is getting a discounted rate for childcare if she's not registered? I wouldn't be sending my child there.

If she continues to ignore you and, whilst playing, your DC is engulfed in flames, you won't have a single comeback against her (legally).

Saying you asked her to use a fireguard wouldn't make a blind bit of difference - you would be the person responsible for putting your child into that situation.

It's time to start looking for a legal childminder.

Your husband and parents need to give their heads a wobble. You have a genuine safety concern and to be honest, you’ve been lucky up until now given you’re using an unregistered childminder. Your 2 year old is the most precious thing you have. Why on earth would you compromise their safety for popularity. Out of interest how much are you paying?

I would withdraw your child from her care asap and also have a word with the other children's parents to let them know the situation if they're not aware of it.

I would take my child away immediately - I wouldn’t use an unregulated childminder tbh, a lot of things that might be going on there that could be potentially hazardous and you would only think of them post accident when it’s too late.
Are all household chemicals/ batteries/ medicines appropriately locked away for example? Would she know what to do if a child choked? It’s just not worth it.

I have a reputation for being quite relaxed about childcare in RL as I use agencies etc for babysitting and will leave DS with ‘someone I don’t know’ from one, but for me the references, CRB checks, insurance and first aid training really matter a lot more then someone being a friend (i do leave him with friends who are responsible of course, but usually in our house/ in laws houses where I am able to control and anticipate hazards more)

My in laws have a wood burner and are absolutely religious about guard use despite being chilled out about a lot of other things (DS ‘sharing’ utensils with the dog, getting soaked out on country walks etc 😂)

What BackforGood said. Has your DH seen a badly burned child..?
I'd Google some pictures and show him - shock him enough to either want to care about his DD - or not...in which case I'd be rethinking my relationship

If you can’t face the fallout of just removing your child, report her anonymously, and don’t even tell your husband. Then hopefully she’ll get inspected and closed down, you’ll have to find alternative childcare, but no-one will blame you and your husband will stay popular.

But bear in mind Ofsted won’t act immediately so there’s still a risk your daughter will get burned in the meantime.

Please say something. Both my kids were raised without one and knew never to touch or go near it which was fine. Unfortunately one day (mid house viewing!) my 2 year old tripped and fell putting her hand flat on the stove glass. She was in incredible pain and was heavily bandaged at hospital. Thankfully she made a full recovery without grafts but I would argue knowing not to touch won’t prevent an accident from happening.

Thanks all! Decision made. I definitely won’t be letting her be there without me anymore. I’ll make the excuse that I don’t have enough work (I’m freelance) to be able to put her there and i’ll just fit my work in on evenings etc. I’m now just so annoyed about my husband and parents not backing me up on this.

Find proper registered and inspected provision

This.

You can't expect to hold your friend to the same standards as a registered childminder because she isn't one. This is exactly why childminders have to be regulated. God only knows what other corners she'll be cutting.

Your DH and parents are completely out of order for pressuring you to prioritise cheap childcare and fear of confrontation over your child's safety. Get him out of there before something awful happens.

Put a baking sheet in the oven at 200 for twenty minutes. Then ask your stupid mother and husband if they would like to touch it with their bare hands or would they be happy to put your child's finger on it.

And I'm afraid to say that using an unregistered childminder is also a stupid decision. You are aware of the fire guard issue, but what other issues are you not aware of? Suppose your child had a serious accident at her house, a registered minder would be covered. I'm sure she's a lovely mum, and great with the kids , but she is looking after other people's children, taking money for it, and needs to take that responsibility seriously.

Good decision countrymum4. You already knew the answer because you are a good mum. You know that if anything happened you would never forgive yourself, even if it was the fucking idiotic childminder's fault. Good luck freelancing and being full-time mummy

Having lost the tips of my fingers to amputation as a 2 year old from severe burns, YANBU!

I should add make sure its a decent fire guard, the accideent i had was WITH a fireguard, but i got my fingers between it in the time it took my mum to go get me a bottle.

I don't have a fireguard and my kids have been fine with it in their early years. BUT I do not watch other peoples' kids. You're so right to insist on a guard or remove your child, I hope you manage to find alternate care!

The childminder, your parents and your DH sound very odd about this issue but you sound sensible.

Its strange your husband would prioritise the feelings of his friends over his child's safety.

My son got a bad scald as a baby and was in terrible pain when the dressings were changed every few days. We were lucky he didn’t need skin grafts.