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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to not have a photo taken?

35 replies

ImNotYourToy · 11/02/2019 15:40

I feel like a right cow.

We have a colleague who has started in my department. She's a lovely, kind and sensitive lady.

She said to me that her family wants to see who her friends look like at work and proceeded to get her phone camera up and try and take a photo of us both together.

I put up this defence mechanism immediately and said no, thank you! She said why? I said I do not like having photos taken. This is true. I do not have social media for this very reason and I only have pictures taken of me or with my family and friends.

AIBU here? You can call me a horrible cow if you want lol! I am asking for your opinions after all.

She looked a bit... heartbroken? Blush

OP posts:
TulipsTulipsTulips · 11/02/2019 15:41

I think you know the answer...

TheInvestigator · 11/02/2019 15:42

That's so odd. Who's family go "what do your colleagues look like; get us some photos". It's just odd behaviour.

Taking group selfies once you are friends or on nights out is different, but this seems weird.

Dfg15 · 11/02/2019 15:43

Def not unreasonable- i hate having my photo taken so wouldnt feel comfortable having one taken with someone I've just met.

WoahThereMama · 11/02/2019 15:44

I don’t think you were BU at all. That sounds a bit odd and I wouldn’t have posed for a selfie either just so her family could see me

ImNotYourToy · 11/02/2019 15:46

That's another reason why I refused.

I feel uncomfortable about the thought of people who I don't even know, looking at photos of me.

I'm glad that it is not just me that thinks this is weird. She's a lovely lady but I think she took it a bit too far lol.

OP posts:
Ohnonotuagain · 11/02/2019 15:46

Her behaviour is extremely bizarre! I doubt her family care who she works with either.

HeathRobinson · 11/02/2019 15:52

Bizarre is right. And intrusive.

punishmepunisher · 11/02/2019 15:53

YANBU! Very weird thing to do.

JasonGideon · 11/02/2019 15:58

Her behaviour seems a bit strange.

Aquamarine1029 · 11/02/2019 15:59

I would keep my distance from her, honestly. Her lack of boundaries is frightening and she was grossly inappropriate to even ask for a picture like that. How utterly bizarre.

ALongHardWinter · 11/02/2019 15:59

She sounds a bit odd,IMO. YANBU.

MrsJayy · 11/02/2019 16:02

I think that is just weird ive never asked my Dds of photos of their workmates yanbu and I don't think im very photogenic so im never in photos either.

Brainfogmcfogface · 11/02/2019 16:03

Eh?! That’s really weird. I’d have said no too.

MrsJayy · 11/02/2019 16:03

Ach I didn't mean you were not photogenic i just meant i don't like my photo being taken.

punishmepunisher · 11/02/2019 16:04

What kind of job is it OP?

SpeedyBojangles · 11/02/2019 16:08

Yeah. She's weird. Not really appropriate workplace behaviour unless you're on a night out or something.

TaimaandRanyasBestFriend · 11/02/2019 16:13

YANBU. I despise having my photo taken. I look shit. I'd have told her no, too. Weirdo.

sulflower · 11/02/2019 16:14

That's a strange thing to ask, I would have no too. I read too many books about where that could lead to Grin.

cantfindname · 11/02/2019 16:14

Def NU. I HATE having my photo taken as I look even worse in photos than in real life. The only 2 photos of me in existence are one when I was 17 and riding in a competition (so more of the horse than of me) and one about ten years ago that OH took for himself (and no one else) I am totally phobic about it to the extent that when I needed a picture for a part time job I refused and didn't get the job. I shudder even thinking about it.

Mitzimaybe · 11/02/2019 16:16

YANBU. Very odd thing to ask in the workplace and you have every right to say no. I haven't even had my official photo done at work yet

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 11/02/2019 16:16

OMG blonde woman, does he wear latex gloves all the tiem too ? is she called Maria?

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 11/02/2019 16:17

*she/time

Fraying · 11/02/2019 16:17

It's not UR to refuse a photo. But tbh I find it odd when people act like getting a photo taken is a huge drama.

CatandtheFiddle · 11/02/2019 16:24

YANBU.

You're perfectly entitled not to be in such a photo. I wouldn't have wanted to be in such a photo either, and would have refused.

JellySlice · 11/02/2019 16:31

Is she not English? My family are immigrants and a photo of me with my colleagues is exactly the sort of thing my DM would ask for.

To be fair, when I was much younger, and new to the workplace, I might have done the same as the OP's colleague. Fortunately this was before mobiles, so I never embarrassed myself this way!

YANBU to swerve the pic, regardless of whether or not you like having your photo taken. It is a bit weird - by English standards.

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