to think this is not what you do in a spa?

[surroundedbyvulpices]

Having a much needed relaxing afternoon in a spa, doing what one does - sauna, steam room, jacuzzi, lazy lengths in the (smallish) pool (don't judge me, I was desperate).

This guy comes striding out of the men's changing room, goggles on, throws himself into the pool with an almighty splash, and furiously front crawls straight at me without looking. Startled and somewhat intimidated, I get out and find a lounger, while he continues to circle the pool in a savage, noisy and overly splashy manner for a good twenty minutes.

AIBU to think you don't monopolise a quiet spa environment, and certainly not like a bull in a china shop?

OP I feel your pain. Went for what was advertised as a valentine's 'luxury rest and relaxation spa overnight stay' at a localish country hotel in mid Wales. Went to use the spa and pool to find a screaming preschooler bombing into the small pool and Grandma aiding and abetting. Asked nicely how long they were going to be. Got a ton of flak! Never been back and left a TripAdvisor review. No naughtiness that stay

One of the major points that people have made on this thread is that quite a few men just expect you to get out of their way when they’re thrashing up and down.
Their entitlement is breathtaking and I applaud Synchro’s technique of just stopping and standing up, forcing them to move aside or crash into you. I’m going to give it a try, combining it was a sharp “Watch out” and following up with a Mumsnetty “Do be careful! “
Another of my bugbears is something else she mentions, blokes getting into her lane when the rest of the pool is empty. I’ve also had this - I think it’s positively creepy.
And Mozart I really hope your Mum complained — that is awful.

this was one of those tranquillity inducing amorphous pools that aren't even rectangular

It sounds as though the spa is actually BUILT to suggest/encourage lazy swimming and discourage the performance kind. YANBU. There's a time and a place.

I think I'd have rather enjoyed just watching him poolside!

I agree. For me a spa should be a quiet and relaxed atmosphere.

Yet another reason for not going on a spa day. I can't believe he did that.

I think a lot of men treat swimming just like walking down the street. They expect a woman to just change their course so they can come through without ceding passage. I'd never thought about this till someone mentioned it on MN and now I see it all the time and I purposely do it to them

I hate people who are "doing lengths" - I totally know what you mean by "savage manner" - some people are like barracuda - straight through the water without a thought for anyone else in the pool, no matter how small, old, frail or (in my case) too fat to get out of the way in time.

Bastards!

I hope he was wearing more than just googles!

Some Country Hotels now call themselves Spas but are just hotels with pools and extras. I sometimes stay in one and would expect people swimming lengths and kids, but it would be disappointing if you're expecting an actual Spa atmosphere.

I've also been on courses for work and been desperate for some destressing exercise...

This is exactly why I go to women only session.

It’s easentially man spreading. Swimming in a pool- fine! Splashing about in a normal, large, public swimming pool- borderline but probably fine. Splashing about like some sort of human wave machine stuck on “fucking tsunami the shit out of everyone” in a SPA- not fine. I don’t care if you’re a member or the sodding owner, it is neither the time nor the place. But obviously because he’s a MAN you should get out of the way and remember your station 🙄. I’d be incredibly irritating and waft annoyingly round the pool in retaliation

How inconsiderate of him. Doesn’t he know that spas are all full of Mumsnetters getting over non-traumas and relationship non-issues?

Love it

He probably does have the right but it isn't very good manners.

Bitoutofpractice, I was just about to point out that men do it in the street, too. Drives me MAD how they rush to get in front of you and then often slow down again and cause you to slow down.

I was doing a lazy backstroke the other day. Man got In importantly at the end off the lane forcing me to stop in surprise. He the waved me on with ‘just go, I’ll overtake you! I’m doing front crawl’

Competitive me enjoyed outpacing his splashy front crawl by miles with my back stroke

Oh yes I know exactly what OP means. I'm a member of a small country hotel club too. I take great joy in beating them for speed up and down the pool. I may be a chubby 50+ woman but I have excellent swim technique and swim far more efficiently than the splashy freaks. They hate it

OP, I totally detest, detest inconsiderate behaviour and this is a perfect example of inconsiderate behaviour. Why can I not see a woman doing this? however
agathaF has given the most pragmatic answer I’ve ever seen on mumsnet! I’m impressed! And I’ve been here for a long time! But you are Totally justified for being annoyed what a knob. I meet quite a few of these types of men cycling whilst driving😡

Swimming in a swimming pool wow, who knew?

This kind of obtuseness is so useless. You knew what she meant.

I’m not sure I’ve ever been in a spa.
I use a fancy gym.
To swim lengths (and sauna and steam or sleep on a lounger between full time work and breastfeeding)
I hate when people use the pool other than to swim lengths.

One of my longstanding male friends is like this - he is mostly lovely but he does have some antisocial habits and this is one of them. He was a colleague for a while and we were members of the same club, and on one occasion I was in the sauna and heard a noise which sounded like the roof had fallen in, peaked around and saw him and one of his friends throwing themselves at the water doing front crawl (I wonder if it was him you saw?!).

Best/worst sauna/pool story I heard was not about swimming - a female colleague was in the pool and a different male colleague came out of the dressing room with no clothes at all on, just carrying a towel on his arm, absent mindedly. He then realised (when she shrieked probably) and ran back to changing room. The damage was done.

I agree with the op.
I swim lengths and there is no need what so ever to splash like that.
Years ago at my then local pool I used to attend women only sessions it was great. I think they were forced to stop doing it as some twat complained.

I get embarrassed swimming in public as i don't know how to do it and people judging me. A bit different to manspreading though.

Couldn't agree more with EastEndQueen. I go to over sixties and even now it's always men who thrash about and come chasing up behind you when they could go in the fast lane. The thing is they aren't great swimmers and usually get out quite soon. Which is a relief because at our age they are definitely heart attack material.