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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not sign my 4 year old up to classes and camps?

47 replies

DorotheaHomeAlone · 11/02/2019 08:28

My 4yo is August born and in her first year of reception. She’s happy but exhausted.

I’ve noticed lots of her friends do ballet, tennis, gymnastics etc in the week/weekend and then clubs and camps in the holidays. She has a swim class after school one day a week but that’s it. I feel a bit guilty but I just don’t want to do more.

We do lots of fun and learning stuff with her and my 2yo - museums, soft play, trips to the woods. I just don’t want to commit her to x, y,z through the week. Part of this is because she seems tired but part of it is just because I enjoy the freedom we have as a family.

I imagine we’ll add in one or two things when she’s a bit older but probably not loads. Is that terrible? I don’t usually compare my parenting, just get on with it, but we feel quite out of step on this. Am I being a bit lazy?

OP posts:
blueskiespls · 11/02/2019 08:30

It really doesn't matter what other parents do does it? Of course you aren't terrible for not doing ballet or gym classes.
Just do what suits your own family.

Changedmynametoolikeyou · 11/02/2019 08:32

I’ve noticed my own children are really only finding the stamina for after school activities since the age of about 7 or 8. Four is so tiny and kids are different. Do what suits your child and yourself.

DippyAvocado · 11/02/2019 08:33

Agree, do what works for you. My DC both did ballet and swimming from age 3. I didn't pay much attention to what other families did after school.

DippyAvocado · 11/02/2019 08:34

Clubs and camps in the holidays are different though. Many children have to attend these because their parents are working.

museumum · 11/02/2019 08:35

Clubs and camps in the holidays are for childcare surely? It sounds like you don’t work so why would you use them?
I’m self employed so try to have 2-3 days off a week in the holidays and use 2-3 days holiday clubs.

Strugglingtodomybest · 11/02/2019 08:36

I think you've got it just right. Swimming lessons are very important, but other than that you don't need to do anymore unless your DD asks.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 11/02/2019 08:36

My August 4 year old doesn’t do any regular stuff.

Original poster
DorotheaHomeAlone · 11/02/2019 08:38

I work 3 days a week but spread over 4 so I can do most pick ups. But after school we generally do have dc friends over or just chill out. She is one of very few not doing after school classes.

OP posts:
museumum · 11/02/2019 08:38

All kids are different too. My 5yr old really really needs physical play after school - more than I can do with him, he’s very well behaved in school and loves to run crazy afterwards so our after school club which is 90% outdoors is ideal for him.

Beamur · 11/02/2019 08:42

Not all kids like lots of classes and activities. 4 is very young. Time at home is important too.

Di11y · 11/02/2019 08:43

our school doesn't offer clubs and classes in reception, only after school club. because they feel the transition to school tiring enough (and probably because they don't behavr)

WhatNow40 · 11/02/2019 08:47

We do a few but on other days DS is in after school club till 6pm. Holiday camps are not a choice, he hates them. I have to work. Have you considered that?

Youmadorwhat · 11/02/2019 08:47

4 is still so little, you know her best!My DD (5)does swimming and gymnastics after school and that’s it. But her school day finishes at 1.20 so plenty of rest time before and after activities.

SoyDora · 11/02/2019 08:47

It’s completely up to you. My DD1 in reception does swimming, ballet, rainbows and piano lessons. She has asked to do them all, enjoys them all and isn’t tired from school. Some of her friends do more, some less, some nothing. There’s plenty of time for them to find something they’re interested in.

bellinisurge · 11/02/2019 08:56

Do what suits you. We never did much of this stuff at that age.
Dd is nearly 12. She does after school cheerleading and horse riding. Because she wants to and we can manage it.

Unihorn · 11/02/2019 08:56

My 8yo DSD doesn't do anything apart from an after school football club, but from nursery onwards every child seemed to be going to 3 or 4 activities every week, costing crazy amounts of money no doubt. Just do what works for you.

babysharkah · 11/02/2019 09:07

Dts are late august birthdays. Reception was exhausting for them. They did nothing at all apart from swimming in a Saturday. They wouldn't have coped with it at all. They picked up ballet in Y1, then rainbows and a couple of school clubs in y2.

Huntawaymama · 11/02/2019 09:12

My nearly 4yo does ballet one evening a week, apart from that she just does things when I take her, swimming, bikes rides etc. I don't want to book her onto any weekend activities and tbh I can't afford for her to do more. I take her baby sister to a messy arts types thing and between that and her ballet I spend 80 a term. I've said they can only do one thing each.

SayMehToTheDress · 11/02/2019 09:13

Just do what suits you. Both my children have never wanted to lots of activities and at any time have either done none or one at a time. The only activity I insisted they did was swimming but they've done various things over the years. They preferred to go home and relax, play in the garden or have a friend over to play after school than going to an organised activity. I didn't used to envy the parents or kids with a full schedule, especially at this time of year. My kids seem to have come out ok. Grin

gnarlington · 11/02/2019 09:14

My son is 5, will be 6 in July and he doesn't do anything after school, he just doesn't want to and is tired.
I don't think it's an issue. We tried things but he just wasn't bothered!
I'm gonna wait and try again when we get closer to summer and nicer weather!

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 11/02/2019 09:17

My DD (5) is in Reception. She has a dance class on a Saturday morning and that's it. She hasn't asked to do anything else. DH takes her swimming every weekend but she doesn't do lessons yet, will probably look at starting this in the summer. We always do active stuff like long walks and bike rides as a family on a Sunday. After school I think it's important that she has time to just play. We also like the option to do playdates after school.

Some of her friends don't do any classes or activities, some seem to do something every day. There's no right or wrong. They're still very young. DD is usually ready for bed by 6.30pm on a school night as it is!

Mabumssare · 11/02/2019 09:17

Could be as well some of them are 2nd children etc. My oldest didn't do much when he was younger but as he has gottennolder has asked to join things. Younger DS then wants to do things he sees his brother doing so he is doing more than his brother was at the same age.

PlugUgly1980 · 11/02/2019 10:49

Reception here too, and our LG has to go to after school club until 17:45 (as we're at work) so there's no way she can do any specific classes. She's shattered, but getting use to it now. We do swimming lessons on a Sat morning though.

Waveysnail · 11/02/2019 11:28

Reception age my summer born were still falling asleep in class during the week despite going to bed at 7. So no we didn't do may activities except swimming lessons on a Saturday

MigGril · 11/02/2019 11:34

I agree no need for any extra clubs in recption. Plenty of time to add some extra clubs when they are a little older.

Just a word of warning though if there is a sport they like get them doing it at primary. Now DD has started high school seems she can't get on any of the sports teams unless she's already been in a club. Which I think is a bit sad.

At lest she does swimming so will be taking part in the school garlas. But has no opertunity to start anything new.