Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fighting about FIL's will

178 replies

Angelofod · 10/02/2019 22:22

So my husband's father died last year rather unexpectedly. Anyway fast forward to sorting out his will and he has put in there that there is 10k to be split between his grandchildren. When he died we were expecting our first child, he already had 3 grandchildren from his eldest son, one of which has been adopted by another family and the other 2 are in care. I'm not saying they shouldn't get their share but do you think my child should too? FIL knew we were expecting and he was so excited to be having a grandchild he would actually see and be able to have a connection with! We were all utterly devastated when he passed. The only issue is the person sorting the will out doesn't think my child should receive anything as he wasn't born when the will was made or before his grandfather died. I just can't help but think FIL would have definitely wanted our child to have a share, the will still hasn't been sorted and my child has been born now and is still a grandchild.

OP posts:
LittleBearPad · 10/02/2019 22:43

The cost of any legal advice is going to significantly eat into any possible inheritance. I would let it go.

greendale17 · 10/02/2019 22:43

@FilthyforFirth trying reading the post properly before making a stupid comment.

I agree you with OP however it would be argued that your child wasn’t born as therefore would not count.

Original poster
Angelofod · 10/02/2019 22:44

It's not taking their money when they don't have it yet, it's not like we are trying to grab all of the money or grab it at all for that matter. It's been a difficult time now being made more difficult by this situation. Why should my child suffer just because he's not in care? Does my BIL not deserve his share of the money because he's responsible for those kids going into care by not being a good parent? No!

OP posts:
lyralalala · 10/02/2019 22:44

If your BIL is planning to give money to a child who isn't entitled someone should point out to him that the other two entitled children (or their guardians) could come after him personally as the executor for any monies of theirs he wrongfully gives away.

Bananasarenottheonlyfruit · 10/02/2019 22:44

I may be way off the mark here, but the adopted one is now part of another family? Does that not mean that this child is technically no longer a grandchild of your FIL either?

Any decent person would be interpreting the will (within legal limits) to ensure that all grandchildren were treated equally. It sounds like there may be larger family issues at hand though.

CluedoAddict · 10/02/2019 22:44

You sound very grabby. Your child wasn't even born when he passed away.

FilthyforFirth · 10/02/2019 22:45

What didnt I understand? If she is successful in getting her child included those in care get less.

NicoAndTheNiners · 10/02/2019 22:46

I'd guess that legally you can't leave part of your estate to someone who legally doesn't exist yet. So I would think your BIL is right. It isn't your BILs choice as the money doesn't belong to him.

lyralalala · 10/02/2019 22:46

Why should my child suffer just because he's not in care?

Your child isn't suffering because he's not in care. He's missing out because he wasn't born.

bananaramaboo · 10/02/2019 22:46

Op - DH who is a probate lawyer asks if the will specifies "en ventre sa mare" which is a legal term to include "conceived but not yet born ".
If the will does not include that phrase then the inheritance only goes to the existing grandchildren who were already born when he died. Hope that helps and sorry if that is not what you wanted to hear.

Original poster
Angelofod · 10/02/2019 22:49

@Adorabel that's what I thought @Lyra i thought it might be just until the will was sited and the estate closed so kids born after that would obviously not get anything. I thinking just painful for us as we had an amazing relationship with him and he was very excited to meet our little one. He would have definitely wanted him to get something. If its taught me something its that i will make my Will very clear, than you for everyone's help and comments

OP posts:
DocusDiplo · 10/02/2019 22:51

Your BIL sounds horrible

Original poster
Angelofod · 10/02/2019 22:51

Thankyou @bananramaboo we will look into that, very helpful!

Just to clarify, we wanted to carry out what we KNOW would have been his wishes if we legally can't then so be it! We are not intending to be grabby at at all.

OP posts:
lboogy · 10/02/2019 22:52

No legal advice but I don't see how OP wanting to secure a future for her child - however meagre it might be is grabby.

I can't imagine the FIL wouldn't have included his grandchild if he knew she was pregnant at the time. It's a huge shame BIL is being a dick about the whole thing. All grandchild should benefit whether they were born at the time of the will being written or not

PoohBearsHole · 10/02/2019 22:55

Your BIL might be in touch but legally the adopted child is no longer part of YOUR family unless adopted by a sibling of your dh making him remain a grandchild. You can definitely contest that or argue the point that If a non family member is being included as a grandchild the. So should yours. Otherwise the two in care will legally be splitting the 10k between them.

lyralalala · 10/02/2019 22:55

i thought it might be just until the will was sited and the estate closed so kids born after that would obviously not get anything. I thinking just painful for us as we had an amazing relationship with him and he was very excited to meet our little one. He would have definitely wanted him to get something. If its taught me something its that i will make my Will very clear, than you for everyone's help and comments

The thing is there has to be a line drawn somewhere. If you have a will that says "£10k to be split between every grandchild I ever have" then that can't be divided up until all of his children are dead because sons in particular can provide grandchildren until a ripe age! So it would just sit there, undistributed for years.

Is the adopted child fully adopted? Not just being cared by, or changed name to a new step dad's name or anything? If so and you feel you can then please flag his intentions to deprive the two children in care of a part of their inheritance to their social worker.

AriadnePersephoneCloud · 10/02/2019 22:56

Perhaps you could point out to BIL that adopted gra dchild is no longer included so you expect to receive a third (you can then divide it between your two or save the same amout for DC2) this may change his mind anyway.

lyralalala · 10/02/2019 22:56

Unfortunately what you know someone wanted means nothing if they don't put that in their will in black and white.

notangelinajolie · 10/02/2019 22:57

Sorry for your loss.

I would think it would be grandchildren at the time of his death which was 3.

Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 10/02/2019 23:00

If you want to carry out what you know would be his wishes why don't you give your son 2500 our of you husband's inheritance or do you only want to take money from other members of the family. I'm sure it wouldn't have been his wish for you to be grabbing money and falling our with family

Lovewineandchocs · 10/02/2019 23:01

I think BIL needs legal advice about the status of the adopted child in the Will
as he could get into trouble interpreting it however he sees fit. Also, if all beneficiaries agree a will can be varied. However the money would be held in trust for the grandchildren assuming they are minors so the Trustees presumably would have to agree to vary the terms of the Trust. Your BIL sounds very arrogant tbh.

Original poster
Angelofod · 10/02/2019 23:03

I will look into the adopted child thing as was fully adopted into a completely separate family, so I will bring it up, I think all bridges have been burnt anyway unfortunately so at least he can do what's right for the others

OP posts:
Pumpkintopf · 10/02/2019 23:04

Agree take independent legal advice on your child and the adopted child. Surprised your FIL appointed BIL as an executor tbh given he's such a crap parent he's had all of his children taken away.

lyralalala · 10/02/2019 23:05

Flag it up to the social workers in charge of the care of the two in care. There are very specific rules about bequests to children. Perhaps flag up to you BIL that the executor is personally responsible for any wrongdoing so the guardians of the two children could come after him for the money if he wrongly gives it away.

Chocolate1984 · 10/02/2019 23:05

Even if you weren't pregnant at the time he made the will I would still expect your child to receive a share. I would expect all grandchildren to be treated equally.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is closed and is no longer accepting replies. Click here to start a new thread.

Swipe left for the next trending thread