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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think going to parent’s evening

61 replies

TheSunnySide · 10/02/2019 19:36

Is not really necessary in the early years?
Have been to a few, it’s 10-15 minutes at the most, usually rushed, doesn’t tell you much and it is probably much better to make an individual appointment to see the teacher some other time.

OP posts:
Blissx · 10/02/2019 19:39

much better to make an individual appointment to see the teacher some other time.

I agree that for some, it can be pretty pointless but your last part is very unreasonable. The teacher’s time is not unlimited. You don’t want to go to parents evening? Fine. But don’t expect a specific appointment at another time either. It’s not fair.

AuntieCJ · 10/02/2019 19:40

If you can't be arsed to go to parents' evening why on earth would a teacher agree to see you in her own time?

I wouldn't, that's for sure.

IWantChocolates · 10/02/2019 19:41

But it is an individual appointment. Unless I'm missing something?

Intohellbutstayingstrong · 10/02/2019 19:44

it is probably much better to make an individual appointment to see the teacher some other time

Many schools do not permit this. You may also wish to consider the fact that teachers struggle to manage their insane workload as it is. Unless you have a particular concern you wish to discuss YAB massively U

Mummadeeze · 10/02/2019 19:44

I have found all parents evenings useful. I got my daughter play therapy after hearing how anxious she was in class. I made sure every teacher knew how to handle her anxious nature after that at various parents evenings too. I found out she was very musical via a parents evening too and was recommended she start playing an instrument. I wouldn’t have noticed this particularly without that feedback. I could go on, but you get the drift.

Littlefish · 10/02/2019 19:44

"it’s 10-15 minutes at the most, usually rushed, doesn’t tell you much and it is probably much better to make an individual appointment to see the teacher some other time."

Are you suggesting that the teacher put aside longer than 10-15 minutes for you, in their own time?

Because of the way our EY is organised, I would have to see 50 parents at 50 individual times!

If you don't want to come to an appointment at the times available, then we would not make an alternative appointment for you. It's different for those parents who we know have genuine reasons.

noblegiraffe · 10/02/2019 19:45

Bloody entitlement of some parents.

You get an individual appointment, it’s at parents’ evening.

missyB1 · 10/02/2019 19:45

Unless you ask very specific questions you usually come away not having learnt much! I now ask things like “how has ds improved at X since the beginning of term?”
“ What are the next steps for him in X subject?”
“What ways can we support ds with X at home?”

Inferiorbeing · 10/02/2019 19:46

As a teacher i would never make an appointment to meet a parent who didn't come to parents evening so that they could see me at a different time. Parents evenings are stressful but important, and i would not give up extra time for that. Parents who genuinely can't are different...

Mummadeeze · 10/02/2019 19:47

And actually at another early years parents evening, I was told my DD was taking non English speaking children under her wing and helping them learn English from her own accord. I didn’t need to know that but it was a lovely thing to hear about her and her caring nature.

FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones · 10/02/2019 19:50

I would only make an appointment with the teacher if I had a specific concern. I do find parents evening quite useful. I don't need to know anything specific but I like to get a general over view to make sure I know how things are going. You can also pass information on to the teacher . Not me but friend has a quiet DD who tends to get smaller parts in shows and assemblies as teacher assumed she wouldn't want to be centre stage - turns out DD was actually desperate to do a bigger part. Teacher cast her as a main character next time and she really shone - helped her confidence massively. Likewise one of my DC is ahead in one subject andI could let the teacher know that he could already do XYZ so she moved him on to something else.She also gave me advice about how to help him with handwriting as he has trouble with it.

Crunchymum · 10/02/2019 19:51

We are away for parents evening (family wedding) and I wouldn't dream of asking for an appointment at another time. Thankfully I see the teachers regularly (preschool and Y1) so I feel like I'm kept in the loop so to speak.

Ellieboolou27 · 10/02/2019 19:51

I appreciate the time my dd’s teacher puts in, she tells me where she needs support and where she’s grown in areas. Dd is in year 2 now, they also mention behaviours and give suggestions on learning styles.

Sorry but YABU

whoknowsmeinreallife · 10/02/2019 19:52

Wow how completely and utterly entitled of you

notanothernam · 10/02/2019 19:53

No I think that's a very strange attitude, how can you be so disinterested? My son is reception, we have his second parents evening this week and I'm looking forward to it. It'll be over quickly but it's comforting to know he's settled in and where he's expected to be, if she says something different then it's important I know!!

JennyBlueWren · 10/02/2019 19:56

As a teacher I think I would rather an appointment system throughout the year when there are things needing discussed than the current twice yearly meeting.
One of ours is straight after the reports go out to "discuss the report", but for many everything's already been said in the report.

Utrecht · 10/02/2019 19:57

I go because I don't want the school to think I'm a shit parent who can't be arsed.

DrinkSangriaInThePark · 10/02/2019 19:57

Ha! So parents should just decide when suits them to turn up? So if there's 28 in a class, that's 28 possible after school appointments the teacher would have?

Or is it just for you because you're special?

AngelaStorm73 · 10/02/2019 19:59
Hmm I like parents evening That's 10-15 minutes more than I get with the teacher any other time
Busybusybust · 10/02/2019 20:00

If you are really interested in your child’s future, then you should attend. These meetings are for ‘is she keeping up in maths and English’, ‘does she have friends’, ‘is she well-behaved’. Any negative answers to these questions or other serious concerns - make an appointment.

Keyword · 10/02/2019 20:01

It can be useful or as crap as you make it. Arm yourself with questions and you will find it a lot more informative. Teachers tend to give a brief overview and then respond to questions you may have. You can get more out of it if you try...

nevernotstruggling · 10/02/2019 20:11

I always go. My dds are 9 and 6. I'm very keen to know how they are academically and socially. I always ask the girls what they think is going well and what might not be and relay this to the teacher.

This thread makes me appreciate the teachers time even more.

Starting school is such a huge deal - can't think why any parent wouldn't want to know how it's going.

Yabvu

Amanduh · 10/02/2019 20:14

But 10-15 minutes is about the right time to have a chat with the teacher.. can’t see the issue..?

Firstdatesboxsets · 10/02/2019 20:17

If I need to talk to my sons teachers I just talk to them, the same the other way. I was worried about something a few months ago and emailed the school reception... they emailed back to say just leave him in after school that day and Mrs T will have coffee with you after school. This should be normal! My goodness... I work in the nhs and if families couldn’t talk to me when they wanted to there would be complaints. Why are posters saying it is ok for their children’s teachers to not make time for them???

kateandme · 10/02/2019 20:19

i think its a big deal for small reasons that on a whole add up to a big reason if that makes sense.
there are things that can be flagged up.
lots of kids get so excited bout showing mummy round and their work.and if they don't there could be a problem.
the teachers doesn't have enough time to see all people as you wish to so this can be a stop gap or can flag up an issue that can be sorted right there or might need more time.but its amazing how little mis understanding can be sorted within minutes.lots of he said child said etc.
also you can get a feel of the place.
kids might be struggling with some and mentioning this can either relay your fears and theirs the teacher might have other thoughts on it.
sometimes too children can be scared to ask the teacher things or if they are struggling a parent can be their voice.ask them if there is anything they want to know from any age is helpful.

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