To consider a Catholic primary school?

[MrsMuffins]

DH and I are not religious, however our nearest primary is Catholic and Outstanding. It also has space, so we would probably get in regardless of the fact that we don’t attend church. However, we would have some concerns - things like the amount of religion in the curriculum, how they teach sex ed and relationships, attitudes (amongst staff and parents) towards LGBTQ issues, etc. Would this be an issue? Would we feel part of the school community as non-churchgoers?

I don't understand why you want to send your child to a Catholic school if you're not Catholic.

If your dc attend a non denominational school you can take then to church outside of school time if you wish or do scripture union etc, you can counteract the catholic schooling with scepticism at home (and my memory of droning school prayers was that it made you bored and dismissive of religion) but it’s harder to take something away that’s an important part of school than it is to not have it there in the first place.

My dd did not take communion as we never felt strongly enough to do it. They do mass at school once a week and dd simply indicates that she hasnt done so and recieves a blessing instead. Like many other kids in her school. Its no big deal.

My parents sent me to a Catholic primary school a veeery long time ago, because I think they had some idea that the standards of education were high. Both of my parents were not Catholic. My Catholic education instilled in me a lifelong distaste for all organised religion.

Just circling back on the point about penance - it doesn’t have to be a huge deal, it’s about trying your best and in reconciliation you forgive and give up your sins to God so you should be lighter afterwards, not guilty. Catholics aim to exist in a state of grace, not guilt. These are important things for the op to think about though as the role of the priest is a clear difference between Catholicism and other Christian branches.

We have a Muslim child at our CofE school . The family have integrated beautifully
They are very religious but somehow fit into the culture of the school , do school
Fairs and all that Schizzle

And nowadays I don’t think school can preach anti gay regardless

And even though I am religious I don’t agree that not Religious tax payers should miss out on a perfectly good school in their doorstep

So long as you can respect others beliefs and not be scathing of them

• why not attend ?

I went to catholic primary and grammar school. As did DH and my kids go also.
It's great... they teach a lot of kindness and tolerance, compassion, empathy etc. We have all turned out ok!
We aren't regular mass goers but will go a few times a year.

People keep saying that they teach kindness and compassion. Surely almost all schools do this, regardless of faith? Catholics aren't unique in that respect and just because they teach it it doesn't mean that the pupils will absorb it. There was a lot of bullying in all three of my Catholic schools.

If learning about other beliefs is important, OP, I’d check out which scheme of work the school are using. It’s unlikely that an RC primary school is covering the same amount of content as a school without a religious affiliation.

I’d be a bit wary of school teaching homosexuality as a choice and respecting other people’s choices tbh.

Agree with that sosaid there aren’t many schools of any faith that overtly claim to teach bullying and self interest!

In my recent experience:
No talk of ‘penance’, it’s about reconciliation and vowing to try and do your best.
Daily act of worship, either whole school assembly or individual class (10-15 mins). Led by the children more and more as they move up the school.
Regular visits to Church and invites to Mass with parishioners, which is actually quite lovely, seeing the generations gather together.
Other religions discussed in RE and some assemblies explore how other religions approach their faith, so more about similarities with Catholicism than differences and absolutely no implication that any particular religion is the ‘best / only “ way to God.
Emphasis very much on how we can all work together to improve our World. Of course, God is going to play a huge part in this at a Catholic school, but the messages about caring, loving and sharing are applicable to all.
Sex Ed is within a Catholic framework, so comes from a starting point of Sharing A Loving Journey, but the rest of it is the pure nuts and bolts in an age appropriate way.
LGBT issues also set within a “ every single person has a value “ framework. I have never come across the slightest whiff of hellfire and brimstone about this and any hint of homophobic bullying is taken very seriously.

I’d be more than happy for any child to go to the Catholic primary schools I have experience of. The secondaries, I am not so sure, as I didn’t like the vibe when I visited.

There’s likely to be quite a mix of families at an undersubscribed Catholic primary, which increases the likelihood of acceptance for different experiences and set ups.

Yes that’s my experience of ‘penance’ talk too saucery, Lenten focus is on trying to do good, be kind every day rather than taking things away. Punishment style religion is hopefully a thing of the past.

My DC have been to C of E and Catholic primary schools.

The C of E school was more religious (church every harvest, mother's Day, Christmas etc) whilst teaching less about other religions. My DC love their week of Awe and Wonder where they learn about a different religion one week each term.
However, 60pc of the intake at the school is non Catholic.

I am non catholic and send my kids to a catholic primary but I accept that the faith is intrinsic to the teaching that they get. I do not pull her out of any activities and I will attend school assemblies, mass and activities in the church if parents are invited as I find it interesting.
Socially with the other parents it makes no difference - some seem to be active members of church, many are just catholic in name but not attendance.
We currently have a dilemma - the school is getting popular and we are at risk that her little brother won't get in so I am due to meet the priest to have a chat about how strict they are about baptising if we as the parents are not catholic but willing to bring up the kids as catholic. I get the sense that they will welcome it rather than insist we all have to have some kind of 'conversion' and prove it with regular attendance.

The fact that neither of you are baptised shouldn’t be an issue, drowning. It isn’t a requirement. You do need one of the godparents to be a baptised Catholic, but if you don’t know anyone then the priest could nominate one from the congregation.

Where you might run into a problem - and this will depend a bit on the priest - is convincing them you’re planning to raise him as catholic. If your DD isn’t baptised, neither of you are planning on converting and you aren’t planning on attending mass regularly, this could be difficult.

Plenty of non catholic kids go to catholic schools. Mine aren’t and don’t but if the catholic schools had been the best schools they’d have gone there. Catholic schools are funded by taxpayers money same as non denominational ones and I’d send them to whichever one I thought was best. I’d have them removed from first holy communion etc though.

Also I don’t know if it’s different in different areas but here (near Glasgow) you can send your child to either. You have to register in either your catholic or non denom primary school. You don’t have to evidence being catholic.

@YouBumder yep absolutely, we’d have no intention of DS being baptised or confirmed, and we wouldn’t want him involved in anything like confession, but I think we’d be happy for him to attend Mass.

I can't understand why you would send your child to a Catholic school if you were not a practicing Catholic.

^This. Either accept what is being taught or put your child elsewhere.

@greendale17 because it’s the best school, by a mile, and we want what is best for DS. If it comes with a side of religion then I can accept that, but I was asking what I might expect from a Catholic primary.

@NottonightJosepheen the school absolutely fits our ethos, ethics etc - their teaching curriculum is fantastic and broad, they have a huge emphasis on kindness etc - it’s just that it’s set in a religious framework. It’s not like we would be going pretending to be Catholic, so I’m not sure why you think it’s dishonourable?

Would you consider sending them to an Islamist school and then humming and hawing about what you would and wouldn't have a problem with?

Quite rightly, they'd tell you to take a hike.

If you went to a vegan restaurant, knowing it was a vegan restaurant but went because it had a Michelin starred chef, and demanded a steak-they would-again-show you the door,

The clue to the school that you want to send your children to is, amazingly enough, in the name. It is a Catholic school and they will teach the Catholic religion and can do without cherry pickers attending.

If you are that precious about 'issoshes' that you have the gall to say you would be offended by, if they didn't approach them in the way you see fit, then don't go.

Ridiculous, entitled, and ignorant attitude that expects the tail-you- to wag the dog!

I do hope that if you do have the temerity to send your children to a Catholic school and then expect them to teach your beliefs, that they tell you to gather up your children and piss away off!

Hope that helps to clarify your silly, foggy, hard of thinking process. process!

I do so hope that helps to clarify the issue for you.

@mrsmoleofclare thanks for that I wouldn’t be expecting the school to change anything whatsoever, I wouldn’t send DS there is we didn’t accept their teaching, ethos, etc. Which was kind of the point of this thread, to find out more about what we might expect from a Catholic primary.