To consider a Catholic primary school?

[MrsMuffins]

DH and I are not religious, however our nearest primary is Catholic and Outstanding. It also has space, so we would probably get in regardless of the fact that we don’t attend church. However, we would have some concerns - things like the amount of religion in the curriculum, how they teach sex ed and relationships, attitudes (amongst staff and parents) towards LGBTQ issues, etc. Would this be an issue? Would we feel part of the school community as non-churchgoers?

In my local authority you have to be baptised to be able to attend the Catholic school.

@Walkingdeadfangirl I wouldn’t be excluding them from RE classes - they get that in all schools, and I think it’s important that they learn about all religions

Aah ok I see . Well I certainly wouldn't have sent my kids to any kind of faith school, I'm surprised they are allowed to continue.

If you don’t like the catholic elements, then don’t send your child to a catholic school! I appreciate some people don’t have any realistic alternative but the wording in the OP suggests it’s only one possible school.

@NottonightJosepheen is it disrespectful?! I don’t agree with it, but I’m not going to be telling DS it’s all bollocks (even if I think it is). We’ll talk about religion in the same way as if he attended a non-denominational school, as in ‘some people believe...’

Completely agree with and second what @Ohfuxx said.

"do you still feel part of the school community by not attending any church events? Am worried about not having any parent friends!

I attended the church events, even a complete non-believer, but you don't have to join in. Yes, sing a few hymns, they are just songs, but you don't have to pray, or take communion.

My DD's went to a Catholic Primary, although private. The curriculum was very Catholic but they both came out with a healthy scepticism of religion in general. They were taught about other religions, didn't have much in the way of sex ed, but then you can do that at home, and anything else can wait until secondary. Neither were even Christened so they couldn't get involved in the Mass stuff, but they still attended. But the school was lovely, the ethos gently and nuturing, and the the results excellent.

The only caveat to all of that is that I wouldn't have sent them at Secondary level, but Primary I don't think it makes any difference at all.

@Babyroobs I thought exactly the same, before I had kids! And now, faced with the very real possibility of sending DS to a struggling local school, I’m finding my morality is more flexible than I thought!

obviously I don’t want them to be ‘indoctrinated’ into any religion, but I started this thread to ask whether this would be the reality in a Catholic primary

Sorry but that's exactly what happens in Catholic primary schools. There aren't some "light " and some "heavy", they are all run by the Catholic Church and the religion is very prevalent throughout the children's day

The kids often go to mass as part of their week, prayer is part of each day, and lessons are slanted towards the religious teachings of the church. The school might be outstanding, no doubt it gets great results, but if you don't want your child indoctrinated you're looking at the wrong school. .

I went to a catholic primary and high school, as so (and did) my dc. There are several gay (male and female) teachers at the school, and I also have gay friends who are catholic and teach at catholic’s schools. Me and my children were taught about no sex before marriage etc, however we were also taught about gay relationships and were not made to feel it was wrong, but made to respect other people’s choices, even if they were different to ours. Several people ‘came out’ whilst I was in school, and was fully supported by the school. I actually fell pregnant in school, along with a few other girls, we were supported so much, even allowed to bring our babies in so we could continue lessons (whilst the teachers had loads of baby cuddles!). Just wanted to give you a bit of a different perspective.

@OlderThanAverageforMN thanks for this, it’s really helpful and balanced, and kind of along the lines of what I was thinking. I would have fewer qualms about sending them to a CofE primary, but I’m wondering is it really that different?

Sorry🤦‍♀️ I just realised I gave you a high school perspective!! Oh well I guess it may help if you are thinking long term lol.

If you have concerns centred around the Catholic elements of a Catholic school then it's not the right school !

I am lapsed catholic and dp is athiest.

We sent DD to a catholic school. It was the best decision we ever made. My dd is 13 now and takes an active part in the liturgical side of school. In fact she is off on a retreat this week to reflect and learn more about her faith.

So yeah, they teach religion!!

They are actively welcoming to LGBT but then i reckon all schools are these days (a good thing). In fact dd insists she is gender neutral!

My one concern was that they would not teach or accomodate other religions. The thing which settled us sending dd there was being shown around by a 6th former who is Buddhist and he learnt about buddism at school and converted.

So yeah they teach religeon but is that a bad thing? There is a strong sense of community and dd gets a lot from it. I doubt she's going to get ordained though

Are you going to be the parent who complains about the religious content despite consciously sending your child to a religious school? If so, then you shouldn't. You either accept their ethos or you don't.

I attended a Catholic school even though I was a protestant. It meant I couldn't complain about any of the Catholic teaching, even though I didn't agree with it.

No school should have a religious alliance - it is fundamentally wrong. You should not be placed in this position where an educationally excellent school is also feeding the children one particular religion. I think it is a disgrace.

Mishappening you must be joking! Of course there should be religious schools.

You just don't send your child to the school if you don't agree with the ethos. And I say this as a Protestant who was sent to a Catholic school, and is now an Atheist.

As atheists I would really struggle to send my children to a religious school, I get frustrated enough with what they're told in standard state schools, it would depend on the alternative schools really, but I wouldn't rely on ofsted alone. A school near us has been outstanding for years and has just been labelled as requiring improvement, things change.

One of the parents should not mind broad catholic teachings ideally - are you ok for your dc to take communion when they do the confirmation? You need to think about that, or ask how many of the current class exempted themselves.

I do agree with faith based schooling options, all faiths are a broad spectrum of beliefs but you’re setting yourself up for a lot of trouble if you’ve no lapsed/heritage catholic sympathy.

You can tutor your dc at the local non denominational school, parental input is vastly important.

@Mishappening I agree.

In your shoes OP, I definitely wouldn't send my DS to your local Catholic school, regardless of OFSTED results.

We're not religious and my DS attends the local village Catholic primary school here in Ireland because the only other option is a Protestant school and that's much further away from where we live and frankly, neither option is ideal.

There's a huge amount of the religion taught in the classroom as if it's The One but my DS sits out of some of the more extreme lessons such as first penance, (after we've discussed the curriculum with his teacher). The idea of a young child asking a male priest for forgiveness for eating too much chocolate or whatever, fills me with horror. The Catholic Guilt thing is real!
Overall, I'm very happy with the school but I'd be ecstatic if they removed all catholic teachings from the school curriculum and leave that to be taught by the priest and nuns at Sunday school in the church across the road although that's unlikely to happen within the next 30 years, I imagine.

DS is 9 and I recently asked him if he knows how babies are made and he hasn't a clue. They don't teach sex education in any meaningful way in the classroom as they're still teaching them about virgin births and other such patriarchal nonsense. Most of his friends come from farming families so they understand the basic mechanics as it applies to cows, sheep and pigs but they don't seem to link it to human behaviour at this age.

my ds went to a catholic school and we had no objection to the religion even though we are protestant.
There was a lot of worship and expected to attend church each week.
Then there were the religious ceremonies for them at 10/11 can't remember what they were. They took them to church quite a lot and all the other dc were friends at school and church, so ds felt left out and quite alone as didn't share as much with peers.
He gained a place in the community school eventually and we moved him. There hadn't been a place here when we moved.

Both mine went / go to catholic school. I have an open mind about these things and I like the side of it that teaches love and compassion. It hasn’t done my two any harm at all but my 12 year old has decided that he doesn’t believe in god any more.

Not everyone is catholic or they wasn’t at their school. It was just prayers / hymns / sometimes mass but if you’re going to be like a poster upthread and bash the religion and therefore the school and their teachings I think that’s really disrespectful..... doesn’t sound like you would do that though.

Sex education is taught in year 6 and I saw the PowerPoint. Nothing is left out - it was fine. There’s no mention of LGBTQ but I asked the teacher about that and she said they follow government guidelines so if they change the way it’s taught then so will the school.