Is 26 too young?

[StarB3]

I've known a guy for a few years from when we worked together. We no longer worked together but have messaged on and off since. We have arranged to meet up and have both like each other. I'm 39. Am I too much older?

Really? Can you imagine a man assuming a woman 6 years younger wouldn't be interested. I think most people wouldn't be shocked by an age gap up to about 10 years.

To clarify, I don't think there's anything inherently terrible about a bloke going out with a woman six years older than himself (of course I don't!).

Although I can recall a seemingly lovely ex colleague - seriously obese, bald, had a heart condition, looked 20 years older than his chronological age, on NMW - being absolutely outraged when a friend set his 34 year old self up on a date with a very attractive 40 year old.

The issue in this case is a) we're on a postgrad course where the average age of the female students seems to be around 23. I have the ultimate baby face and I think he's pegged me for late 20s, so is in for something of a shock when he discovers how much older than the other students I am.

b) If it became a relationship and he wanted kids, I'm hovering around the top end of the age range for that.

However, if anything comes of it and I snatch him from the jaws of a nubile 23 year old in my course, I'll march straight back to this thread to let peeps know.

Those people saying that most men are looking to settle down at 26 surprised me because thats genuinely not my experience at ALL.

It might just be the demographic I'm in but I do not know even one man within my age range that settled down before 30, even 30 was young! Most that I know are trying to push it closer to 40 with the ultimate aim being to settle down with a woman 25 to 28 years old.

I even know a man who is 28, has been with his girlfriend since they were 15, he's had a child with her and he's still saying he's too young to settle and doesn't want to make any "rash decisions" for a good few years yet as he doesn't know who he might meet .

I wish I'd met a guy at 26 who wanted to settle down or I wouldn't be in the boat I am at 35.

I think if this were a post about an older man with a younger woman most people would not even blink. Why in this day and age is it still so taboo to date or the horror! actually marry a younger man? My husband was more mature at 24 then many men I've met and dated in their 30's and 40's.

My husband and I are on the same path emotionally, financially and fundamentally share the same values and outlook on life. We cannot wait until our 20, 30, 40 ,hopefully 50 year anniversary. We've been married for well over a decade and it has only gotten better with each year.

Not all men are alike. Just like not all women are alike. Sometimes it takes what feels like forever for someone to grow up. Give him a chance. He may surprise you. Good luck!

26 - 39 sounds a bit gross. He was a baby when you were in secondary school.

UNless she is in secondary school now that point becomes pointless

They are both consenting adults. Age is just a number

@ShadyLady53 Don't limit yourself. If this 24yo is interested in you then why not at least give it a try? I met DH when he was 21 and I was 33 and 9 years on we're still together with a 5yo. So it can work!

MissLanesAmericanCousin
You obviously don't spend much time on AIBU if this is true

I think if this were a post about an older man with a younger woman most people would not even blink

There have been loads of posts saying how disgusting it is.

I think it's live and let live and it's how you feel that matters, see where it takes you, there are things you have to think about with an age gap, especially as you get older but good luck

Regarding being ready to settle down at 26. I got married at 26 and had my first child at 28. 26 isn't as young as some posters make it out to be.
There's only 4 months between my DH and I and it works perfectly for us. There's 10 years between my dad and stepmum and I'll be amazed if there are two people more perfect for each other than them.
My friend once said that age should only matter if you're a cheese. Don't be put off by the date on his birth certificate. What does time spent with the PERSON tell you?

@Cerseirys I’m not interested in younger men and want to start a family with someone on the same wavelength as me who I have a decent amount in common with. He still lives at home and has very little life experience and a studenty lifestyle even though he’s not a student. I’m in a completely different phase of life.

It’s not a case of limiting myself...it’s an honest appraisal of the situation.

I would say that's too much of a difference but it depends on the individual. I was a 28 year old single mum when I met my now husband. He was 25. I didn't want anyone younger but he went on to surprise me and he was mature. Not quite the same age gap, but maybe it's worth a try?

Depends on the 26 year old to be honest. Almost the same age difference as my partner and I. We’re still going strong after 6 years. Hes actually more mature than I am. 😂😂

I’m the one who does the coming up with plans and dragging him out.

But if mentally he’s in a totally different place then you might struggle. We work because we get on so well together and I’m pretty active despite being the older one.