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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Is 26 too young?

69 replies

StarB3 · 09/02/2019 17:54

I've known a guy for a few years from when we worked together. We no longer worked together but have messaged on and off since. We have arranged to meet up and have both like each other. I'm 39. Am I too much older?

OP posts:

Aridane · 09/02/2019 18:55

For a fling, fine

Original poster

StarB3 · 09/02/2019 18:55

He more mature than his age and looks a bit older too, I look younger than my age. I don't know what I want to happen but I figure better to give it a go than never know. Just fun would be great. If more happened then I'd take that as it came. I've had years of trying to do things the right way and getting nowhere so figure why not. I wouldn't normally go for someone that much younger but you only live once

OP posts:

Midnight21 · 09/02/2019 18:56

My wife is 15 years younger than me.You're both adults,go for it

NottonightJosepheen · 09/02/2019 18:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NunoGoncalves · 09/02/2019 19:00

I’m nearly 35 and wouldn’t date a 26 year old. I’m looking for someone I can settle down and start a family with though, if you are just looking for a fling it may work

I would say most people are looking for that at 26 too. Not all obviously, but a lot are. Everyone I know had kids around 28-32, meaning all were looking for and getting into serious long-term relationships in their mid-20s.

Lyricallie · 09/02/2019 19:00

I’m 26 and personally I wouldn’t go for someone who was 39. I personally couldn’t see how I was at the same stage of life. I’ve just got my career on the go, want to travel, decide what country to live in etc. Etc. Also my friends would definitely judge me. Not that that’s important to everyone, but it would be to me.

GMtoBe · 09/02/2019 19:00

Nothing wrong with that. I was 26 and my husband was 38 when we got married. Met when I was 21.

Aridane · 09/02/2019 19:04

It's common enough the other way round - as indeed many posters are illustrating with their older DPs - but not so much with the younger man

HazelBite · 09/02/2019 19:04

DIL is 12 years older than DS, a lot depends on what you both want out of the relationship, I don't see the age difference being something to consider at this point.

NancyPickford · 09/02/2019 19:06

Give it a go. It may not last, but why deny yourself some fun, perhaps love and romance, in the meantime? I have certainly dated men much younger than me, it worked beautifully and we were both quite clear about the reality of the situation. I have now been happily married for 22 years to a man 8 years my junior. And the opposite - had a fantastic relationship with a man 22 years my senior when I was in my mid-20s. I don't think you should really pay too much attention to the age gap, so long as you both want the same thing.

ladyvimes · 09/02/2019 19:07

Why would a 26 year old man not want to settle down and start a family?? Why would this only be a fling?? I married my dp when they were 25 and we had a baby a year later.
Go for it OP. There’s nothing wrong with the age difference. Age is just a number!

Heronymous · 09/02/2019 19:07

I don’t think so. At 26 he’s old enough to know his own mind, it’s not like he’s so young that he might be naive or easily led.

TheWanderlust · 09/02/2019 19:09

There's 8 years between me and my OH, (24 & 32) and 13 years between my best friend and her OH (24 & 37).

We're all in stable loving relationships, and doing the "being an adult" thing.... have just bought properties and I am currently 37 weeks pregnant with our first baby.

I met my OH when I was 19, and we started a relationship when I was 20- I have not and will not look back, we couldn't be without each other now. If it's the right person in your life then age is just a number.

x2boys · 09/02/2019 19:10

Age is just a number etc but I suppose there maybe issues if you wanted children i.guess you would have to have that conversation sooner rather than later?

Myimaginarycathasfleas · 09/02/2019 19:11

Well, you won’t know until you try. I see no one has mentioned the Macrons yet. Seems to work for them.

Youthful40 · 09/02/2019 19:11

It's interesting @StarB3 reading the "definitely wouldn't" gang. "Different life stages", "just started out in my career at that age".

Our relationship was very organic and we took it slowly at first when we realised we both had romantic feelings for one another. Having been friends prior was really helpful. He may be 26, but he's ready to settle down and feels very happy being part of my family, chilling out of an evening, cooking, helping out with stuff and spending time with me and my DC at the weekend. He doesn't often fancy going out with his mates but on occasion he has a blast either with or without me!

It's horses for courses really, he's a manager in his line of work, local business, not really interested in travelling the world, he's very uncomplicated which I love. See how it goes!

Butchyrestingface · 09/02/2019 19:12

Interesting thread. I'm 40, and a 34 year old appears to have a er, passing interest in me. I'm thinking nothing will come of it when he discovers I am in fact 6 years his senior.

rainbowbash · 09/02/2019 19:14

would not be for me but if it works for you.

Depends also what you longer term plans are if things would get serious esp in terms of family planning. your ages are really compatible in that sense

theworldistoosmall · 09/02/2019 19:16

I'm having a fling with a 28-year-old. I'm 43. We are both happy with the set up and know it's just for fun.

Original poster

StarB3 · 09/02/2019 19:23

Loving the comments. Thank you. It may end up as nothing but I'll have fun finding out, and he already has a child as do i so we're on the same wavelength so far as those things go

OP posts:

EdWinchester · 09/02/2019 19:24

It is a big gap, but you're only thinking about a date? Enjoy it.

Mummyoflittledragon · 09/02/2019 19:24

Butchy
That’s nothing...

I say go for it op. The children thing does need to be thought about. Im just thinking about protecting yourself. You don’t want to fall passionately in love and then split because he wants children and you can’t by that stage.

spinabifidamom · 09/02/2019 19:28

Go for it. I was 22 when I met my then boyfriend in a coffee shop. He is eleven years older than me.
We have had several children together now.
What does your heart say?

CountFosco · 09/02/2019 20:46

Interesting thread. I'm 40, and a 34 year old appears to have a er, passing interest in me. I'm thinking nothing will come of it when he discovers I am in fact 6 years his senior.

Really? Can you imagine a man assuming a woman 6 years younger wouldn't be interested. I think most people wouldn't be shocked by an age gap up to about 10 years.

MilkybarsROnMe · 09/02/2019 21:30

A fling great, long term partner to settle and have children, no.

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