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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To offer to pay the difference

78 replies

NormaTheHippo · 09/02/2019 16:22

Friend and I are going on weekend away together. She is fairly skint at the moment, whereas I am (relatively) flush. She would rather go to a perfectly nice but cheaper hotel outside of the town centre, whereas I'd rather go to a fancy place in a great location which is about £70 more. WIBU to offer to pay to make up the difference? Or do you think that would be rude/make her feel uncomfortable?

NB - at the moment we are both being vv polite saying we don't mind either way but it's pretty obvious that we both have our preferences!

Thanks!

OP posts:
GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 09/02/2019 17:07

Especially on a site like booking.com, you can get lots of different prices for the same hotel.

Justanotheruser01 · 09/02/2019 17:07

Any chance it's her birthday soon? Could it be a birthday gift to her?

Original poster
NormaTheHippo · 09/02/2019 17:07

Unfortunately I am a terrible liar so can't say I found it at a lower price..

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 09/02/2019 17:07

Just tell you haven’t been away in ages due to your dps illness, you’re going all out and this is your shout. Pay for the hotel in entirety and when she objects tell her she owes you a nice meal.

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 09/02/2019 17:07

Random act of kindness.

Original poster
NormaTheHippo · 09/02/2019 17:08

Ah, thank you

OP posts:
Llioed · 09/02/2019 17:08

I am the friend who doesn’t make much (earn just over £800 per month, working part time whilst juggling childcare) whereas my child-less friend earns £700 more per month than me (after tax) and I don’t like the “I’ll pay the difference” attitude from her. I tell it to her straight not to do it. I personally wouldn’t like if you did that to me, however I don’t know your friend and I don’t know how she would react to you offering to pay the difference. Plus, my friend can be quite smug but you don’t come across like that, OP, so it’s a different situation.

If you were “good friends” then you should be able to talk openly/honestly, not being all polite for fear of offending one another.

Just save the expensive hotel choice for when you can go with someone else who doesn’t mind paying extra.

Sockthief22 · 09/02/2019 17:09

Would it mean more expensive food/drinks etc too? That may worry her

GeorgieTheGorgeousGoat · 09/02/2019 17:10

Well what do you want people to say? If you don’t want to take the ideas suggested then a bit unsure about what you want people to help you with Confused

reallyanotherone · 09/02/2019 17:12

Can you use nectar/tesco any sort of loyalty scheme to reduce the price?

Norma27 · 09/02/2019 17:12

I think if you are good friends then it is a lovely thing to do. I would do the same when flush, and be grateful I had lovely friends when I was in bad times. Xx

Springwalk · 09/02/2019 17:13

I would tell your friend what you have told us, you really need this break and this hotels x,y and z. Would she mind if you booked it and paid the difference (play down the difference) she will probably enjoy it much more. I wouldn’t be at all offended if my friend suggested this. Better to book a nicer hotel and really enjoy it, than a cheap one that disappoints.

Mondaytiredeyes · 09/02/2019 17:13

Can you not offer to get the hotel as it’s DPs treat... id maybe be honest and say that you haven’t been away for so long as DP has been poorly ...... and then add on a little white lie that he wants to treat you both and has offered?

Springwalk · 09/02/2019 17:16

If she is a good friend she won’t mind having a conversation about it, if you pick up some reservation in her tone, then opt for the cheaper one.

Original poster
NormaTheHippo · 09/02/2019 17:16

That could be a possibility Monday..

OP posts:
PresidentHump · 09/02/2019 17:20

I think I would say. 'Do you like £££X hotel? Cause if you do I'll book it and you can give me what you would have paid on £X. The little extra is my treat.'

rookiemere · 09/02/2019 17:21

i think you should offer but if she says no accept it with good grace

PresidentHump · 09/02/2019 17:21

Oh yes - if you can afford to pay for the whole thing then do!

errorofjudgement · 09/02/2019 17:22

I was coming on to say you could tell friend that as he’s been unwell your DP has offered to pay the difference for you both as his treat, but Monday beat me to it 😀

Bobbybobbins · 09/02/2019 17:23

Good idea to say it's your DPs treat. I have done this before when I wanted to pay but didn't want my DF to feel uncomfortable

PooFlower · 09/02/2019 17:24

I was going to suggest what Monday said. Or you could say dp has just booked it as a treat. Tell her it is refundable if she really prefers the other but if she liked you could keep the booking and she could just pay what the other hotel cost.

WhiteNancy · 09/02/2019 17:41

I think you sound like a lovely friend. In similar circumstances I've 'found a voucher I had for my birthday/Christmas'.

fatoneatthegym · 09/02/2019 17:50

Have you planned together what you'll be doing on this holiday? Be careful you don't end up having disagreements about restaurants (cheap vs expensive), tourist attractions and anything else that will cost money while you're there. It all adds up and could cause arguments if you haven't discussed it all first.

Yulebealrite · 09/02/2019 17:55

Tell her you'll get the hotel if she doesn't mind getting the meal as you'd really fancy that particular hotel.

outpinked · 09/02/2019 17:59

Depends on the friendship. You can gauge her reaction better than anyone here. If my best friend offered I wouldn’t be offended but if it were a friend I didn’t know as well, I perhaps would. Also depends how you word it, don’t be condescending.