To want him to leave me the fuck alone!!!

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Ugh, I've been put in such a bad mood.

DP (exDP) and I have a toddler.
He's been putting a lot of strain on the relationship and me for a while with his insecurities, jealousy, paranoia and controlling behaviour. I bring it up and he says it'll change but it never does. He tries to make me feel like I'm not worth trusting, and that I'm doing stuff to not be trusted when I'm not in the wrong (eg getting a lift home with a colleague).

I told him on Monday that I wanted a break from the relationship. I was unbelievably unhappy and feeling controlled and like I was walking on eggshells and I won't feel like that for anyone.

Last night, I had to go to a medical appointment, and I walked back (in the wind). He tried to insinuate that he thought my hair was messy because I'd gone and just had sex with someone and he was in a shitty mood about that.
Today, I got undressed for the bath while he watched DS and left my clothes on the floor. I never usually wear a thong but did today as I was in a short coat and didn't want a VPL. I went out to buy nappies. He stormed in and started questioning where I'd chosen to wear a thong and how 'suspicious' that is that I did!

I told him to stop questioning stuff like that and how on earth does he think it's any of his business! He just got DS dressed and stormed out to go to the park.

I just want him to fuck off!!!!!!! I was a bit doubtful when I asked for a break from him but there's no doubt in my mind that I don't want to be with this 'man' now- I don't want to spend my life justifying what knickers I choose to wear and being accused of having sex with people when I go for an appointment and being told that he doesn't trust me when I've done fuck all wrong, walking on eggshells when he finds out I've had a lift home with a male colleague!!!!!!

I'm not being unreasonable am I? I just want him the fuck out now.

Does he live with you? It sounds extremely controlling and frankly I’d not be happy with that role model for your child. Stay safe.

He stormed into the bedroom about 20 minutes later for the record, not into the bathroom when I was bathing! But still.

@icelollycraving he did, he's been living with his parents for the past week though.

Ugh just get rid.

I'm just so angry, sorry for the rant everyone!
Just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel of stepping on eggshells out of fear for setting off his bad moods in front of DS!

He tried to insinuate that he thought my hair was messy because I'd gone and just had sex with someone

My friend's ex was like this. He went ballistic that he had had sex with someone else on the way to meet him for dinner (wah?) all because he turned up a bit sweaty!! Needless to say he turned out to be completely unhinged, boarder line stalker. Get rid OP, get rid!!!

Well why aren't you just ending it?

@Whisky2014 because it felt like a hard decision when we have a child involved. It doesn't feel like a hard decision now, trust me.

So why is he in your house while you’re bathing?
He takes DC out or to where he’s living on his contact days
You’re blurring the lines then being mad at him for it

@PurplePepperEater I understand that, I've just found it very difficult and My aim was to try and keep things as normal as possible for DS now he's moved out. DS can't go with him to where he's living for safeguarding issues and can't really go out as DS has been unwell, and his dad doesn't drive so with the weather, has been really limited.

He is controlling and abusive and you need to separate yourself from him and set firm boundaries. Including not having him in your house. It'll be a transition for DS but you're doing your son a massive favour by not setting him a terrible example of how to treat women.

@FredFlinstoneMadeOfBones yes, I completely agree- thank you!

Get rid. You know it's the right thing.

End it. Please. End it.

He's controlling and abusive, and he'll be setting a terrible example for your child about how to treat people.

Good for you for refusing to put up with this shit. You are entirely correct that it's abusive. Do not let him wheedle his way back, you've done the right thing chucking him out and he won't magically change even if he promises to.

People who claim their partner is having an affair any time they are not together, tend to be the ones with some sort of guilty secret....

Yup, chuck him out and keep him out. Have you got friends/family members who can give you back up and support? A man like this could turn dangerous, and you will need firm barriers in place, possibly legal ones, to minimize his opportunities to make a nuisance, or worse, of himself.

This is the sort of man who thinks all women are "sluts". Run away.

I agree completely with FredFlintstone - not one inch over the doorstep. Change the locks as well, otherwise (as happened to a friend) he'll let himself in and go through drawers to find 'evidence of guilt' like new underwear etc.. He also found an old iPhone and went through all her emails. Her biggest crime was that he found a pair of hold-up stockings she'd bought at some time in the past for wearing under a fancy dress - they were proof that she was a slut, evidently.

He will try to get in when you're not there, to make sure you can't get on with your life without him. Draw very strict boundaries, and don't try to stay friends with him. There's nothing for you in this relationship, even if he suddenly turns 'nice' it will be to draw you back in.

Yeah I made that mistake of just allowing him to walk in and come by when he felt like it and visit for hours ‘to keep it normal for the dc’ after I made him leave. Took about a month of that happening for me to realize that wasn’t going to work for me. His home is not yours any longer, he picks up and goes.

Grief. I had this crap from an ex. I'd been out with friends. Got home and we started canoodling but he suddenly pushed me away because he 'could tell' I'd been with another man!???? Looking back he never really loved me, he wasn't capable. He was a back of neurotic paranoia and was too busy nursing the pretend attacks on his ego to love anyone.

My ex started like this, it got worse and worse and when I ended it he stalked me and the police were involved.
It turned out he was cheating and accusing me of doing everything he was!

@WarpedGalaxy yeah, I think it was an optimistic concept to have everything so amicable for DC where they have the best of both worlds but sometimes it just doesn't work, clearly!

I had a boyfriend like this and it makes me so cross to think I put up with it for 4 years. I couldn’t even say hello to a man without him going off in a huff for days. The final straw was when I had arranged to go out with some friends to the pub. He was livid. Actually shaking with rage. He said ‘it’s either me or your friends’
I said ‘I choose my friends then’
It felt like a massive weight had been lifted when I got rid of him. And I felt so relaxed and happy without him in my life!

@Realitea it's bad how many people deal with it from childish men. I've also had the bad moods if I've smiled at a male in the street or stopped for a quick chat. It's ridiculous.