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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Sworn at on school run

45 replies

iamboudicca · 07/02/2019 13:55

Another parent swore at me on the school run. AIBU to still be upset and fretting about this? I might be being a bit sensitive as I’ve had a bit of a hellish week and my anxiety is quite bad as a result. Any helpful suggestions on if there is anything I can do about it or should I let it go?

We use a shared cycle/footpath to get to school. My DCs are learning to ride their bikes to school. One school dad also uses the bike path to cycle his kids to school. He has annoyed very many people as he rides very fast using his bell constantly.

Today he was returning home as we went the other way, cycling very quickly on the right hand side of the path ( no white lines or anything) and DS (3) was riding slowly on the left ( in the other direction so on the same side IYSWIM). DS saw him and stopped.

Rather than just go around DS, school dad uses his bell and so DS tried to get out of the way, unfortunately this meant that DS crossed in front of school dad and school dad had to stop. (No collision or anything like that). Then as he passed me he glared and swore at me.

I didn’t respond as I was too shocked and I don’t know his name, but I recognise him as a school parent who lives locally. WIBU to mention it to the school?

OP posts:
Mmmmbrekkie · 07/02/2019 13:56

What did he say?

SileneOliveira · 07/02/2019 13:57

This isn't something which is down to school to sort out. Please don't involve them.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/02/2019 13:59

He’s a knobber OP. Put it out of your mind. Maybe the school run isn’t the best place to be teaching the dc to ride their bikes though as it can be busy at that time. Could you do it during the day in the park when it’s quieter?

BIgBagofJelly · 07/02/2019 13:59

HE sounds like a dick and a dangerous one too. I'd have been upset about it too. I'm not sure if the school will want to get involved but since he's cycling dangerously it might be worth mentioning.

Original poster
iamboudicca · 07/02/2019 13:59

just told to fuck off as he sped off. Didn’t stop and have a go.

OP posts:
GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/02/2019 13:59

And no definitely don’t get school involved!

mummy2three2014 · 07/02/2019 14:06

I hate idiots like this. There's no need, cycling even walking towards a child on a bike you have to be aware that they might get flustered a little and certainly ringing a bell at your dc, hope it doesn't put them off cycling in the future. My kids love biking to school. Wouldn't you just love to get that bell and launch it as far as you could his wife/mother must be so proud that he's talking to a fellow female like that keep your chin up op!

nala15 · 07/02/2019 14:11

He is an absolute idiot. Don't feel upset by it, you should in fact feel sorry for the bloke for being such a miserable man!
He has children at the school you say... well that's not a very 'fatherly' 'friendly' attitude towards a child.
Your a better person for not responding and letting him think about his only words towards you. Let's hope he thought his choice of words were harsh - especially in front of your child. Disgusting man.

terriblyangryattimes · 07/02/2019 14:19

Find a stick and shove it in the spokes of his front wheel next time you see him coming... I jest but I'd be tempted! No excuse for that behaviour as surely he was teaching his kids to ride not so long ago! You're not unreasonable to be annoyed and upset bit in your shoes I'd try and forget about it as really not a lot you can do.

Cuntforthebutter · 07/02/2019 14:20

What a nob. Wouldn't bother the school with it though. Can you teach DS to put a stick in his wheel next time Wink?

Looneytune253 · 07/02/2019 14:36

Why are people saying not to get school involved. It absolutely concerns them if a parent is verbally abusing another parent just outside of school. I have had to speak to school before after a parent was nasty to me for no reason on the school run as we should be able to take our children to school without risk of any kind of abuse.

fruitbrewhaha · 07/02/2019 14:37

What a tool, you are going to see each other every day for next lots of years.

Stop him tomorrow and ask him why?

I couldn't let it lie. I'd have to pull him up on it. But then I'd probably end up swearing back at him.

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 07/02/2019 14:38

It’s a cycle path on the way to school. Not sure whether it’s just outside of school. What would expect the head to say to sweary man?

Drum2018 · 07/02/2019 14:42

It has nothing to do with the school so don't bother them about it. They cannot police people's language. He sounds like a dick but I wouldn't have the likes of him taking up headspace.

SirVixofVixHall · 07/02/2019 14:43

I would pull him up on it in front of other parents.

Sindragosan · 07/02/2019 14:45

If he's part of the local cycling group you could complain to them, our local group try to behave reasonably on the shared paths and will remove sprints from strava etc.

Sukochicha · 07/02/2019 14:46

He was clearly in the wrong.

Put it down to him being a big ugly dick face.

Tell you other parent mates and you'll feel better about it.

Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 07/02/2019 14:48

Make sure you make yourself as wide as possible everytime you see him coming

Nanny0gg · 07/02/2019 14:48

I'd pull him up the next time I saw him. I'd point out it's a 'shared' path, that he needs to be considerate and heaven help him if a child was injured.

winsinbin · 07/02/2019 14:51

I agree you shouldn’t involve the school. I wouldn’t even approach him on school grounds as he is clearly a total knob and it could escalate and upset any children listening.

You could approach him on neutral territory and ask for an apology but I think I’d just blank him from now on I would also passive aggressively seek to be in the way of his bike (whilst giving him a cheery wave) at every given opportunity for many, many years.

Destinesia · 07/02/2019 15:01

Whilst I don't think there was any excuse for swearing at you, you need to teach your children to keep to the left and stay on the left when they ride or scoot. If you let them ride wherever they want, it makes it dangerous for people riding in the opposite direction or trying to overtake.

DoingMyBest2010 · 07/02/2019 15:03

I feel for his kids! What a knobhead.

Destinesia · 07/02/2019 15:09

Also, if your DC's are learning to ride their bikes, I really don't think the school run is the time to do it especially if you are feeling anxious about it. Can the 3 year old go on a seat on your bike?

ittakes2 · 07/02/2019 15:13

Actually I would tell then school - if he is quite OK about saying this in front of your kids he makes for an aggressive person - he might also be comfortable saying it to older year 6 children or accidentally knocking over a child on the path. While to be honest it does annoy me when some people with toddlers think that its completely fine to have the toddler wandering all over the place without thought to other people (I'm not saying you are one of those) - it is afterall a school run area and people have to be prepared for young children to be learning to ride or cycle on their way to school and expect them to make mistakes - that's how everyone learns.

WickedGoodDoge · 07/02/2019 15:15

YANBU. I cycle 30km several times a week on a cycle path, partly during the school run. I stop for young children on bikes, dogs, people pushing buggies because, you know, it’s a SHARED cycle path not my very own personal one.

Man was being a dick. Ignore him.