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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Sworn at on school run

45 replies

iamboudicca · 07/02/2019 13:55

Another parent swore at me on the school run. AIBU to still be upset and fretting about this? I might be being a bit sensitive as I’ve had a bit of a hellish week and my anxiety is quite bad as a result. Any helpful suggestions on if there is anything I can do about it or should I let it go?

We use a shared cycle/footpath to get to school. My DCs are learning to ride their bikes to school. One school dad also uses the bike path to cycle his kids to school. He has annoyed very many people as he rides very fast using his bell constantly.

Today he was returning home as we went the other way, cycling very quickly on the right hand side of the path ( no white lines or anything) and DS (3) was riding slowly on the left ( in the other direction so on the same side IYSWIM). DS saw him and stopped.

Rather than just go around DS, school dad uses his bell and so DS tried to get out of the way, unfortunately this meant that DS crossed in front of school dad and school dad had to stop. (No collision or anything like that). Then as he passed me he glared and swore at me.

I didn’t respond as I was too shocked and I don’t know his name, but I recognise him as a school parent who lives locally. WIBU to mention it to the school?

OP posts:

TrendyNorthLondonTeen · 07/02/2019 15:15

And? Why is this even worth thinking about?

WickedGoodDoge · 07/02/2019 15:17

Sorry, you would be unreasonable to mention it to the school but are not being unreasonable being upset.

RosemarysBush · 07/02/2019 15:22

So he was riding on the right hand side of the path? So he was in the wrong. Couldn’t he just have moved to the left?

Pinkbells · 07/02/2019 15:33

When you say he was cycling his kids to school, do you mean in a trailer/bike seat or were they also on bikes? My children also use a footpath to cycle to school, but they know to stop and get off whenever they see anyone coming the other way or they catch up with pedestrians etc.

Pinkbells · 07/02/2019 15:34

Also, I think the school should be informed, especially if you know who it was.

Zuma76 · 07/02/2019 15:38

Next time you see him I’d say really loudly, watch out kids here comes that really rude, miserable man.’ Hopefully other people will be around and he will be embarrassed

PlainSpeakingStraightTalking · 07/02/2019 15:39

Exactly what do you expect school to do ? issue him with lines or a detention? I don't think 'fuck off' quite gets up to breach of the peace standards.

But in the vein of MN - LTB/phone 101/get a doula/book a spa break/have you thought about batch cooking?

wafflyversatile · 07/02/2019 15:59

Maybe say if he isn't able to show consideration to other path users then he should ride on the road with the other dangerous drivers.

Or do as I would do and think this while saying nothing.

does the school do a newsletter or email update or such like? Maybe ask them to put something on there to say the path is busy with many school goers using it, that everyone should show consideration to other users. And that 'pedalling furiously' is still a crime on the statute books. probably.

nokidshere · 07/02/2019 16:05

Tell school? Really? Like they don't have enough to do without "telling off" a grown man for swearing? Get a grip fgs

And yes, Yabu to still be upset by this

mytieisascarf · 07/02/2019 16:09

Take deep breaths and let it go. He is nothing to you - his opinion of you and your child mean nothing to you. You have done nothing wrong - despite what other posters have said you have the right to teach your child to cycle on a cycle path at any time of the day and other users need to respect that. Carry on doing what you have always done and let go of your anxiety - your body is probably still in flight or fight but it will pass eventually with some deep breathing.

Personally I probably wouldn't contact the school - mostly because it will then just prolong your own anxiety about the situation. Obviously if it happens again you have an option to contact school, even if only for their help to identify him.

Breathe and relax.

AWishForWingsThatWork · 07/02/2019 16:12

He's a nob that needs pulled up sharply.

He was in the wrong.

I would have told him loudly that he was being a terrible role model for kids with his behaviour on the shared cycle/pathway and his foul language, and he shouldn't be on it if he didn't understand how to use it properly.

FourRustedHorses · 07/02/2019 16:24

Record his cycling, inform police. Cyclists have to abide by the law too though some do think they are immune.

Cycling dangerously is a reportable offence and he can be fined.

Shared paths I am certain pedestrians have right of way. Cyclists must remain prepared to slow down and stop if necessary. Clearly he wasn't prepared and had no intention of stopping.

A knobber like this wont pay attention to the rules until it hits him in his wallet.

JemSynergy · 07/02/2019 16:25

What do you expect the school to do about it? Plus it will just be your word against his.

PigletJohn · 07/02/2019 16:33

It's useful to carry a spade, pickaxe, or wheelbarrow full of bricks. If startled by a knobhead you can accidentally let it fall to the ground while you jump out of the way.

Knobheads are very careful to prevent getting their paint scratched.

mytieisascarf · 07/02/2019 16:38

What do you expect the school to do about it?

I agree that there is not much the school can actually do about it - but our school always mentions on newsletter when parents are parking or driving irresponsibly so I don't see why they wouldn't do the same for irresponsible cyclists.

MammaMia19 · 07/02/2019 16:43

This is something my kids school would take seriously and send an email about. They wouldn't want their students to be run over by another parent. We've had emails about things like this before

SoupDragon · 07/02/2019 16:43

Surely the man was cycling on the wrong side of the path?

Tinkobell · 07/02/2019 16:48

It's such a shame when we have to cross paths with the worlds dickheads OP. Don't take it to heart. Tell your DS he's a nasty man ...,thankfully not many men are like him. We can't live in a bubble unfortunately that's just life. Sorry to hear it rattled you.

Ninoo25 · 07/02/2019 17:16

I would tell him that you don’t understand why he felt it was necessary to swear at you, and that it is totally unacceptable to do so in front of your DC. I’d also tell him that if it happens again you’ll be forced to tell school as you won’t be intimidated by someone who thinks they own the pavement (Do this in front of other parents if possible)

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 07/02/2019 17:30

OP, he sounds like a prize twat. I can see why you're upset.

But I agree with previous posters that you shouldn't try to involve the school. I work in a school and have, on occasion, had similar issues reported to me. When this happens I have to politely explain that I can't intervene in disagreements between grown adults just because their children happen to attend my school. It's absolutely not my place to police how parents behave in their own time, outside of school grounds. If a parent is behaving inappropriately at a school event or on the school site that would, of course, be another matter. Honestly, I barely have enough hours in the day to investigate and respond to incidents that occur in school.

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