To ask how much milk my 5 week premature baby should drink?

[CustardCreamLover]

I had my baby boy 5 weeks early and he's now 17 days old. I'm starting to dread the MW visits because I'm scared he will have lost weight. I'm EBF and worried that he's not eating enough. He goes at it like he's starved and is done in 10 minutes. My breast always feels empty when he's finished but I'm worried I'm not producing enough for him. I offer the second breast but he's always to sleepy to be interested.

Does the worry ever go away? We were in hospital for 8 days and we had twice daily weigh ins and they drove me crazy with worry and I can't seem to shake it now. At his last weight he was 120g over his birth weight but I'm just so scared that he's losing again. I feel like I failed him by being unable to carry him to term and now I feel like I'm failing him with feeding. I feel really quite alone.

Any advice or support would be gratefully received by a tired, worried new mum.

Please talk to your midwife and explain your worries to professionals

OP I felt similarly it turned out DD had a posterior tongue tie so wasn't latching properly, he's had it snipped but I was still worrying, he was gaining weight then dropped from 50th to 25th centile at six weeks. MW said to get him weighed agin two weeks later and we'd have to take action of he'd dropped another line. In that two weeks he gained 23 ounces! It seems to go in fits and starts, he'll slow a bit then have a massive spurt. Are there any BF support groups near you? My local one made me feel so much better

As above please speak to someone. My eldest DD was 5 weeks early and I, like you, became so anxious about weight etc. It ruined the first months of her life for me because of it. I had PTSD after almost dying with her but if I had of got help sooner it would have been so much easier.

DS

I had a 13 weeks premature baby and went through exactly this. She had 12 weeks in hospital and I was absolutely terrified she wasn't getting enough. I kept being told as long as she has plenty wet nappies and she doesn't get red crystals in the nappy it's fine. I ended up expressing so I could bottle feed her as a top up just to make sure she was getting some. She was able to do breast and bottle after being in nicu so long because the hospital was far away and I couldn't always be there for every single feed, and she didn't take to cup feeding. Sorry it's not much advice but just wanted you to know you're not alone! I very much felt i had failed her by not carrying her to term as well nd was scared in case she didn't know I was her mummy etc but she's 8 now and we are so close. I'm here if you need someone to chat to

That your breasts feel emptier is not a sign that you don't have enough milk. Your supply might just be evening out a bit now baby's getting the hang of things. See if there's a breastfeeding support group in your area, or a local IBCLC (international board certified lactation consultant).

You can also mention to your HV how worried you are, just so you can talk it through. Always good to keep an eye out for PND.

It sounds like you're doing a great job getting baby above birth weight, so keep on keeping on, but know it's OK to ask for help if you need it!

The women on the National Breastfeeding Helpline are really good for support.

www.nationalbreastfeedinghelpline.org.uk

I found them useful when I needed help

This time is so hard, my DS was 9 weeks early and is 20 months now. I've just started counselling for PTSD because my anxiety has not yet levelled out. Please lean on your HV for advice and support. Mine visited me at home weekly for quite awhile. Its really hard to go from having the constant support and observations from the NICU to being at home. Is he having plenty of wet and dirty nappies?
for you

Hi OP, congratulations on your baby.
It is only natural to be worried after having a prem baby, it can be a scary time for parents.
Key questions to think about for you:
Is baby having plenty of wet and dirty nappies?
Do you have any reason to think that baby has lost weigh or are you just worried he might have?
Is baby alert (when awake)?
How often does baby feed?

The best thing you can offer here is responsive feeding. This means that you feed baby whenever they may want it (for hunger, for comfort, for cuddles) or whenever you might want it (for cuddles, to relieve engorged breasts etc).

Offer the breast frequently, and if you are able you could have a duvet day with your baby with lots of skin to skin. The oxytocin will encourage lots of feeding and also help your milk supply.

There is always some level of worry, but if you are struggling, please do speak to someone.

A lot of women worry they aren't producing enough milk. Generally the advice is that your baby should urinate at least 6 times a day, not sure 100% on poo but generally think it's at least daily.

You haven't failed in any way at all. The early days are really hard, and I would imagine so much harder if you have a premature baby. Have you got anyone around you for support. Maybe ask your health visitor if there's any local breastfeeding support groups, meeting others in similar situations may help bring some comfort

Sounds like he's a really efficient feeder which is wonderful. You are doing a fantastic job OP - you haven't let him down in any way, shape or form.

Oh and also, apparently when a baby is hungry and feeding they clench their fists, and when they are full their hands should relax. I don't know how accurate an indicator that is though

The midwife visits and weigh ins are there to check that he is ok, if there was a problem it will be identified before it becomes a big issue.

The worse thing that can happen is you end up bottle feeding because breastfeeding isn't working. This isn't the end of the world (I say this as someone who really wanted to breastfeed and didn't manage twice)

Its really hard when things don't go to plan with your first.
Firstly the worry is normal but it can be overwhelming. Speak to your mw.
Secondly there are other ways to tell baby is getting enough. As a society we have become almost obsessed with the oz measurement on a bottle!
So baby is gaining weight, if they are having plenty of wet and dirty nappies, if they are alert between naps and feeding regularly. Sometimes when babies are tiny they often get tired when feeding. Is baby falling asleep after just a few mins at the breast? A tongue tie check is definitely worth it.

But.. newborns feed often and it's a really good way of getting your supply established. If I were you I'd find a local breastfeeding support group you can go along to. Not just for breastfeeding advice but to chat to other mums.

I also had my boy early and he seemed so tiny at the beginning. He dozed through the weeks until his due date and barely gained anything. In the following month he woke up and ate all the time and went from the 40th percentile to the 96th. Apparently it’s normal for premature babies to correct post due date like this.

OP how are you doing? X

I had this OP, constant worry about how much ds fed because you cant measure breast milk going in. My (very sensible real-life-understanding) midwife suggested I weigh a day's worth of nappies to figure out how much was coming out the other end. They're guaranteed to extract all the goodness they can from bf so if there's plenty coming out you're on a winner.

(I think I looked up how much a bf & ff baby should take volume-wise to compare my measurements. Try not to worry op)

2.5 ounce for every £ of body weight in a 24 hours period. X

Could you try expressing to see what she's actually taking?

He*

@loveskaka, pumped volumes are not a reliable indicator of how much the baby is actually drinking, many women get less out with a pump than their baby does. Plus expressing and bottle feeding a hungry baby is just huge added faff!

OP, it's such an anxious time for anyone, but it sounds like you're doing fine and not letting your baby down at all. If he's feeding for 10 mins and is then satisfied that's a good thing, as long as he's gaining weight and producing a good number of wet/dirty nappies. Some babies are just quicker than others. If you'd like to get him to take the second breast, you can do things like stripping him off, tickling, tapping his feet to keep him awake a little longer. Your breasts continue to produce milk even when they feel empty, and the more he stimulates the more you'll make, so do keep him on if he wants to.

It’s a very hard time. I was terrified my son was losing weight too. Even if your baby does lose weight, you may just need to top up with a fortified formula. It’s no big deal. They need to gain weight and if that’s what it takes then do it.

I wish I'd never had him.

I'm a terrible person.

I'm an even more terrible mother.

Don’t panic OP. What’s the worst that can happen? Baby has some formula - we are lucky to have that as a safe option so not worth freaking out. I had a spreadsheet and used to sneak out of the house to weigh DD1. It’s anxiety dear OP you aren’t starving your baby.

Go to bed with the baby and lots of snacks and feed feed feed.

Have a hug and try not to panic

What’s happening, Custard? It sounds like you’re really struggling. Do you want to talk about it, or could you contact your HV or midwife?