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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to pay £150 to a "sleep consultant " to try and get my 6 month old to sleep for longer than 45 minutes at night?

33 replies

Xmastummyhasgonebig · 06/02/2019 19:30

My dd is nearly 7 months, and is breast fed.

She completely refuses a bottle, i have tried loads of different ones, so my husband cant help with feeds. She wont have a dummy either.

In the day she only naps on me when feeding, or in the car.

At night she pretty much feeds every hour throughout the night, and isn't in a routine at all as she doesn't sleep long enough to go to bed at a normal time, so I just keep her downstairs with me and cuddle her all night till I go to bed Grin

I love all the cuddles, but I have other small children, and I'm knackered! Because she wont take a bottle, I cant even go out for a few hours ever

I have found a sleep consultant on the internet, but it seems very expensive! This is for 4 weeks of support though, and is done over facetime. It's all gentle techniques so no crying it out or anything.

Has anyone done similar? I'm not trying to get her to sleep through, just go longer than 45 minutes, and maybe get my evenings back!

OP posts:
DamsonWhine · 06/02/2019 19:32

No YANBU. We did (2 x for different children). Both times money well spent - in DS’ case once we had him “fixed” he has slept 12 hours a night ever since. I would have paid ten times what it cost and still thought it cheap.

Smoggle · 06/02/2019 19:33

Just bear in mind that there will be a lot of crying, even with gentle techniques!

You need to establish a routine, put her down for naps and get her self settling at bedtime. If you can afford someone to hold your hand through that then why not?

GailTheFish · 06/02/2019 19:34

YA Definitely NBU - we did the same for DS1 when he was 6 months old and it was some of the best money I’ve ever spent. Was so good to have a plan and have someone tell me what to do - it definitely saved my sanity.

Original poster
Xmastummyhasgonebig · 06/02/2019 19:35

I think that's what I need, someone to tell me what to do!

OP posts:
greendale17 · 06/02/2019 19:36

I know several friends who did this and never looked back. The little ones have slept through the night ever since

Bubastes · 06/02/2019 19:38

I'd plonk that money faster than a speeding bullet. If the sleep consultant comes recommended then go for it!

TheWeatherGirl1 · 06/02/2019 21:35

I did it. Similar age and similar price and it changed our lives.
We all got some proper sleep, include the baby who quite frankly must have been knackered with all that constant waking up.
It's the same price as a nice hotel room, but with longer lasting benefits.

Onlyjoinedforthisthread · 06/02/2019 21:40

Are the going to tell you anything new? I suspect not but you'll listen to them because they are charging 150 pounds

Cherry321 · 06/02/2019 21:43

Do it
Do it
Do it

Mine didn't sleep and it nearly broke me. Flowers

TheBluesAreStillBlue · 06/02/2019 21:45

Do it. They’ll just tell you what you know already but sometimes we need someone to tell us what to do!

Gusthetheatrecat · 06/02/2019 21:47

Do it. We used a sleep consultant and it was so effective I would have paid ten times what she was charging! It was so helpful to just have someone tell us what to do. We were too tired to think straight.

sola82 · 06/02/2019 21:57

Wish I could afford a sleep consultant! Your baby's sleep sounds exactly like my 10 month old. The lack of sleep is killing me.

LaurieMarlow · 06/02/2019 22:01

Do it. I don't know anyone who used a sleep consultant and regretted it.

6 months was a particularly tough time for both my kids and anecdotally it seems common for babies to struggle at this point.

Original poster
Xmastummyhasgonebig · 06/02/2019 22:12

Right I'm definitely going to contact her tomorrow!

@solar82 if it works I will tell you what advice she gives and I will update the thread. The price covers 1 months worth of her help, so I'm guessing it will take a while

OP posts:
mcmooberry · 06/02/2019 22:15

That doesn't sound too bad to me. I think you need a plan but you also need to be prepared to stop breastfeeding overnight as I would imagine the plan will involve not giving her any reason to wake up iyswim? It sounds like you are ready to go through with the plan so go for it! Would say a lot of the info can be found in books about the subject, but you may be too tired to read them!! I looked into getting a sleep consultant in for our twins but in the end couldn't find a way to describe the overnight chaos in our house so just let things go on until I felt ready to tackle it myself. Good luck!!

Caterinaballerina · 06/02/2019 22:17

I love the suggestion that the price is equivalent to that of a hotel room. Fantastic way of looking at it! Good luck OP.

FiveRedBricks · 06/02/2019 22:23

We did it and it never worked. He just started sleeping through a few weeks ago at 19m old out of the blue. Prior to that it was 3hrs max at a time.

honorariam · 06/02/2019 22:30

Oh my god: I think I need to do this too. My 15 month old doesn't have a bed time because all
He wants to do is play all evening and then wakes every hour or so to feed still.

Absolutely no idea how I'm working full time.

Blazeisamonster · 06/02/2019 22:33

I could have wrote this post!
Yes do it and please let us know I have no idea on how to sleep train a breastfed baby and she’s my third!!!

user1486250399 · 06/02/2019 22:41

We paid £320. Best money we ever spent and would pay double it tomorrow if we had to.

ForgivenessIsDivine · 06/02/2019 22:42

Best money I have ever spent. . Did it on two seperate occasions.

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 06/02/2019 22:44

Hi OP

I could have written this! Was in the exact same situation

I tried 2 different ones. Both around 300. First one came round for 3 hours and asked loads of questions and seemed really knowledgable. A week later her plan came through. She thought the baby wasn't napping enough in the day. The plan was a few lines long and was basically wake 7, sleep 9-10, sleep 12 - 2 etc. No troubleshooting or telling me how to do it, or what to do if she woke up early etc. Every time I emailed her to let her know it wasn't working she took a week to respond and asked me for a 24 hour detailed plan (taking noted at 4am when you're up for the 6th time that night wasn't fun) and then take another week to respond and basically said 'keep trying'. Complete waste of money.

Things got worse though so I tried again. I asked on local Facebook groups and found one that was recommended by a few people. I asked what I got for my money, how and when she would contact me, what her methods usually involved and what would happen if it didn't work. I spent ages grilling her beforé I signed up! She was a million times better. I filled in a massive form about sleep habits that took me a good hour, and then she came for an hours visit. She gave me a 6 page written plan. It has so much detail - what to do when and how to change things if that didn't work etc. She scheduled in a phone call every day and responded on text instantly. She was there in real time encouraging me over text when I was wavering about the whole thing and the baby was crying. We did the disappearing chair method.

The first night it took the baby an hour to fall asleep with us sitting next to her. She cried but it wasn't awful and we did pick her up a few times. She woke up once in the night! The second time she slept through! Honestly it was worth the money and totally saved my sanity

So my advice would be to go for it, but make sure you find one with lots of independent recommendations and find one who's philosophy is similar to yours (ours wasn't CIO but wasn't as gentle as some of them either). Also find out exactly what the support entails as you will probably have loads of questions at first and need lots of communication otherwise it's easy to give up

artio0 · 06/02/2019 22:52

Just about refusing the bottle... Have you tried spoon feeding or syringe (google the techniques on how to be careful so she doesn't choke)? I spoon fed expressed breast milk to my DD when my nipples were sore. Just so you could get the occasional rest until she sleeps more. Good luck!

Dowser · 06/02/2019 23:37

My son had a cleft lip and palate and had to be spoon fed till I could find a squeezy bottle to squeeze the milk in
He slept better than the two year old who definitely could’ve done with a sleep consultant
In fact I think my first son had a milk allergy to cows milk

sola82 · 07/02/2019 07:28

if it works I will tell you what advice she gives and I will update the thread. The price covers 1 months worth of her help, so I'm guessing it will take a while

Thank you OP! Hope it works for you and your baby