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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not let DS go to his dads his weekend.

39 replies

JKCR2017 · 06/02/2019 12:41

DS sees his dad most weekends either for 3 hours during the day or overnight 6.30pm Friday until 11am Saturday. Anyway, he didn’t have him this past weekend as his dad had come down with the dreaded bug which was fine. DS gets really poorly if he catches the bug.

I may be being completely ott here but I am thinking of keeping him away this weekend to avoid the bug as we have some important things going on next week. For all I know his partner and their baby may of had it, and their home isn’t overly hygienic. I cannot imagine that they frantically bleach all possible surfaces after the norovirus hit like I would and I can’t help think that DS May pick it up.

I know I cannot avoid the bug. DS could easily pick this up from school and usually I would let him go BUT next week is such a busy week. Both my DC have apps they have waited for and then it’s half term and I was thinking about booking a last minute weekend away.

Would you keep him away? How long does noro last on surfaces?

OP posts:
Brakebackcyclebot · 06/02/2019 12:45

No, I would not keep him away unless one of them actually has this bug when he's due to go. Schools say you can go back after 48 hours of last being sick and that'll be more than a week ago by this Friday.

themoomoo · 06/02/2019 12:47

that would be unreasonable

adaline · 06/02/2019 12:48

You'd be hugely unreasonable.

BasilFaulty · 06/02/2019 12:49

YABVU.

AryaStarkWolf · 06/02/2019 12:50

YABU yes

juneau · 06/02/2019 12:52

I think it would be reasonable to contact them and check that everyone is healthy OP. If the last person to be ill was last weekend then it would be unreasonable to prevent your DS from going, but if it's still raging in their household then no, IMO YWNBU to keep your DS away. There is no good reason for exposing anyone to norovirus unnecessarily.

Quartz2208 · 06/02/2019 12:52

No Im afraid I would send him

BigusBumus · 06/02/2019 12:54

YUBVVVVVVVU

Hadalifeonce · 06/02/2019 12:55

It depends on whether his father is still ill, if so, YANBU

dontknowwhattodo80 · 06/02/2019 12:57

I'd send him too

RolandDeschainsGilly · 06/02/2019 13:05

Why does your ex have him for such a small amount of time?

CurtainsOpen · 06/02/2019 13:15

Nice spot of OW bashing

user1493413286 · 06/02/2019 13:18

No it’s been a week, no reason to think he’d get it

katykins85 · 06/02/2019 13:18

Why does your ex have him for such a small amount of time?

This! Why not every other weekend like most do?? Confused

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 06/02/2019 13:30

Very unreasonable, children get bugs you cannot stop hi seeing his dad because it might ruin your plans next week. He could just as easily catch it from a trip to the shops.

On a separate note the amount he sees his dad is ridiculously small. Depending on his age 6.30-11am will mean he is surely asleep from the majority of the contact time.

Wolfiefan · 06/02/2019 13:33

Was he diagnosed with norovirus? You know there’s more than one “bug” yes? Is he still unwell?
Sounds like you just don’t want him seeing his dad. And the house is unhygienic how exactly? Confused

theredjellybean · 06/02/2019 13:37

Why don't you just pick up the phone and discuss it with your ex?
You know like two responsible adults?
Your both parents to this little boy, you'd think you'd both want what's best for him.
But to book a weekend away to sabotage your child's time with his father on the unlikely event his father is still ill is absolutely unreasonable.

KonekoBasu · 06/02/2019 13:39

Having had family members catch norovirus days after the people visited had recovered I don't blame you for being cautious.

BrilliantDarling · 06/02/2019 13:39

How do you know they wouldn't have bleached everywhere like you would have??
YABVU

Original poster
JKCR2017 · 06/02/2019 13:40

Thanks all. Usually I would send him but I suffer from anxiety I’m already having visions of us missing important appointments next week 😬 not sure the 3 hours visiting time is worth catching a bug but I am probably being ott. 😂

My ex is a slob when it comes to cleaning half the reason we split. I’m not sure what his partner is like though..

It was only him who had it last weekend. His partner and baby hadn’t had it.. but may of now.

He only has him for a small amount of time a week due to my ex not wanting him any longer. 2 weeks ago he was due to have him 10-1. He brought him back at 12 - 2 measly hours. The short amount of time has nothing to do with me. I’d like him to go for longer but unfortunately my ex has always put everyone and everything else before our son!

OP posts:
KonekoBasu · 06/02/2019 13:42

Apparently people ill with norovirus can remain contagious for up to two weeks and it can survive for weeks on hard surfaces, around 12 days on soft and months to years in water.

AryaStarkWolf · 06/02/2019 13:44

He only has him for a small amount of time a week due to my ex not wanting him any longer. 2 weeks ago he was due to have him 10-1. He brought him back at 12 - 2 measly hours. The short amount of time has nothing to do with me. I’d like him to go for longer but unfortunately my ex has always put everyone and everything else before our son!

Oh Ok, with this new information I change my mind to fuck him if he can't even be bothered to spend any decent time with his son anyway, why risk messing up your week

Original poster
JKCR2017 · 06/02/2019 13:45

I’ve always tried to encourage my ex to have him longer. The overnight stay is completely pointless but I think my ex does it as he feels it’s his duty to have DS rather than actually wanting to see him. I’m the first to admit DS is hard work, he has additional needs but he loves his father but there’s been a wide amount of issues involving my son and my ex (letting him
Down, changing plans, being late picking him up and early dropping him back and my ex’s partner not wanting DS over there).

The appointments DD and DS have next week are both incredibly appointment to them and both on the same day. Already had to cancel once as DD had a fever 😬

OP posts:
AryaStarkWolf · 06/02/2019 13:48

aww poor kid, I totally get your frame of mind now

Wolfiefan · 06/02/2019 13:49

So you don’t know it was norovirus?
Don’t let your anxiety prevent your child see their father.

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