To not let DS go to his dads his weekend.

[JKCR2017]

DS sees his dad most weekends either for 3 hours during the day or overnight 6.30pm Friday until 11am Saturday. Anyway, he didn’t have him this past weekend as his dad had come down with the dreaded bug which was fine. DS gets really poorly if he catches the bug.

I may be being completely ott here but I am thinking of keeping him away this weekend to avoid the bug as we have some important things going on next week. For all I know his partner and their baby may of had it, and their home isn’t overly hygienic. I cannot imagine that they frantically bleach all possible surfaces after the norovirus hit like I would and I can’t help think that DS May pick it up.

I know I cannot avoid the bug. DS could easily pick this up from school and usually I would let him go BUT next week is such a busy week. Both my DC have apps they have waited for and then it’s half term and I was thinking about booking a last minute weekend away.

Would you keep him away? How long does noro last on surfaces?

Both incredibly important not appointment.. rush typing!

I wouldn’t send him at all if this was really norovirus. That is extremely contagious and debilitating. Sorry to get your anxiety worked up but I actually think YANBU here. Get on the phone with your ex and ask about the partner baby to see if they contracted it as well. Even in really clean houses it’s very normal for all the occupants to contract norovirus.

A few years ago there was an outbreak in my city (New York) and one my best friends caught it from one of her friends. She expressly banned me from visiting her and taking supplies to her to avoid me getting sick. We didn’t see each other for a month! New York was sick for about two months due to noro and the outbreak even made it into The NY Times.

In light of your next 2 posts I would actually say no to contact this week. Explain its nearly the end of term he is run down (every child is run down at the moment) and that going to visit his father who has recently been unwell is likely to tip the balance of run down into genuinely unwell. Have a quiet weekend and maybe suggest if he wants to see him then they go outside for an activity e.g to the park for a few hours.

It might not be norovirus but the symptoms the ex said sounded like it. My ex kindly explained all his symptoms to me 🤢 But then again he could of just made the illness up as he has lied about being ill before to get out of seeing DS (he said he was ill then a few hours later I drove into town and the ex was sat in the local beer garden - gobsmacked wasn’t the word). I could talk about it all day but it’s going slightly off track. Seeing DS is always on his terms, not ours. It’s frustating as we had to change times slightly on one occasion due to a Birthday party so he said he wouldn’t have him at all 🤷‍♀️

Sorry I’m Babbling now..

Last year the ex actually stepped up. He was usually on time, didn’t let him down, rarely changed plans. But since he moved in with his partner and mother of his baby towards the end of last year it’s been going slowly down hill again!!

I will give him a ring to discuss it with him!

@CurtainsOpen Where was the OP "bashing" the OW when she has done nothing of the sort? Neither has she said ex's partner is the OW.

I do understand your position, but still think if your ex had the norovirus at weekend he'd actually still be ill now, or today would be first day of recovery, even then he'd still have 48 hours easy clear to go , but while I do understand you are anxious do consider its two weeks your DS doesn't see dad, and then your considering another weekend away over mid term, he sees him so little - not at all your fault but if no one else in household has been sick then really its only 3 hours

Thank you, I actually haven’t spoken to my ex since the weekend so he could still be poorly.

I had norovirus last year. Caught it off the D.C. was poorly for 1-2 weeks 😬

Just to add, I have no problem with his new partner. DS is 8 soon, we spilt when I was pregnant and I’ve been with my partner and father to DD for 6/7 years and soon to be married so there’s definitely no problem that she’s with my slob of an ex 😂 she seemed like a nice woman until ex moved in with her and it’s been said she doesn’t want DS over there. But that’s another story 😊😊

As I suspected

Fuck him then. It’s a disgustingly small amount of time and not worth the risk.

We had two bouts of Norovirus last year and there’s no way I’d risk spreading it to anyone so DDs stayed home with me and FaceTimed Dad (who is a great co parent but I didn’t see the point in him getting really sick too.)

But then again he could of just made the illness up as he has lied about being ill before to get out of seeing DS
Wouldn't surprise me if this was true considering he only sees his dc for 3 hours a week - and that only under sufferance.

Your dc isn't getting any real benefit from these 3 hours is he?
I bet he gets plonked somewhere to amuse himself whilst his dad counts down the hours.
Why risk dc catching any sort of bug under these circumstances?

As a pp said people shed for a couple of weeks and they live on hard surfaces for nearly that time. It does depend on the bug.

If you think he will only have your ds a couple of hours and you’ve got something your ds would really like to do and keep him safe from the germs I think that would be a safe option.

I don't think the OP is unreasonable. She could suggest making up the hours that the father is missing, he could have the son for the whole weekend the next weekend?

They may HAVE had it. Not, they may OF had it. The latter makes no sense.

Juells Disagree totally in light of the fact that the dad doesn't seem that interested in having his son anyway. If he was a loving dad who valued his time with his son then I would agree with you but that doesn't seem to be the case

Of course we only have OP's side of the story that the ex is a slob, lies about being ill, etc, before we jump to condemnation of the ex. Says who?

OP, if you're serious, phone and see if they're OK to take DS. Who are you to suddenly declare a norovirus outbreak on no knowledge whatsoever?