9 year old daughter told to wear sports bra/crop top

[movinonup]

DD came to me last night saying that she needed a sports bra or crop top for P.E in the future as the teacher had told this to a group of girls who had been doing gymnastics and their tshirts had fallen down when doing handstands .

I can only assume this is to cover up their 9 year old nipples for fear of...........what exactly?

Are the boys to cover their nipples also?

AIBU to be cross about this?

[silkpyjamasallday]

I wouldn't be happy that the girls are being given the message that their bodies must be covered, it's sending the message that they are objects to be viewed rather than full people like the boys from a very early age.

[movinonup]

@Seeline

''Girls I'd like to see you wearing sports bras or crop tops for P.E in the future''

One of the girls asked why...

''Because your tshirts end up around your neck when doing gymnastics''

DD is usually a fairly reliable witness, But all the same I've worded my initial email gently just in case.

[Ifangyow]

@silkpyjamasallday.
What you said with an entire row of bells on.

[ColdTattyWaitingForSummer]

I was at primary school in the 80’s / early 90’s, vests on PE days was the rule even then. (In fact in the infants we just wore vests and pants for PE). As we developed the vests became crop tops or training bras. I feel on the fence about whether the teacher has overstepped here. But I can remember in year 5 the teacher suggesting it was time for us all to start wearing deodorant (with hindsight probably to avoid singling any one person out), so it’s probably not an uncommon occurrence.

[Seeline]

Well T-shirts round their necks seems very dangerous - how about suggesting leotards instead?

[nellieellie]

Not the teachers call. My DDs class had several girls wanting crop tops. They wanted mobile phones, nail varnish and lipstick too. Thank heavens my DD was too busy doing fun stuff and not thinking about appearance. I got my DD a crop top at 11 when she needed one. I wouldn’t have wanted her getting self conscious about her body, or have someone else telling me she needs to cover up her child’s body ffs.

[ReggieKrayDoYouKnowMyName]

Wow, I never knew how weird the general population was about little girls nipples.

[JacquesHammer]

Well T-shirts round their necks seems very dangerous - how about suggesting leotards instead?

Interesting how it only seems to be dangerous for the girls!

[movinonup]

@Seeline I'm assuming there is no strangulation risk and the teacher was simply trying to lighten the situation or didn't have a suitable answer to 'why?' :)

[RiverTam]

Wow, I never knew how weird the general population was about little girls nipples.

and that is the point, because I'll bet the boys aren't being told to cover up their nipples, presumably because we don't expect girls to run amok at the sight of a male nipple (and then do nothing about them, the ones running amok, I mean). God forbid boys should be told to shut the fuck up if they start sniggering at a glimpse of a female nipple.

[Seeline]

I agree OP - it's just if the concern was tops round the neck, crop top wouldn't solve hte problem

As a matter of interest - do the boys and girls change together or do they have separate areas?

[bigKiteFlying]

Sadly the primary school provided no sanitary bins so that made it all worse.

My 1980 primary school provided these and I certainly wasn't only child who needed them. It's bloody odd not to provide them IMO.

Both my 9 year old girls had crop tops they likes to wear but I agree it's not really a thing a teacher should be enforcing.

However, DD2 now only wears trousers to school few years after she and few other girls got told off for not wearing modesty shorts under skirts and summer dresses so their knickers can't be seen.

School insisted nothing would have been said by staff member - and I did wonder if it came from some of her more religious friends but according to other parents they had staff say similar to their 6-9-year-old girls as well. I ended up buying some to give her options as she was upset and I wanted her comfortable - but since then she massively favours trousers for school.

[movinonup]

@Seeline I don't know for certain but I'm going to hazard a guess that they all get changed in the classroom together.

[SanFranBear]

YANBU

My DD is also 9 and despite having had some bought at the beginning of this school year, she has decided soft crop tops are not comfortable and refuses to wear one. It is her decision as it is her her body and she is not remotely ashamed of it. I can tell you now, she was far more self-conscious when she was wearing those tops.

It is definitely not a teachers decision and like some posters here, wonder why it is that it's always the girls who are taught to cover up.. Undeveloped chests are the same for girls and boys so the explicit message given here is that girls chests should be hidden? Makes me so angry!!

[JacquesHammer]

Teacher has shot herself in the foot really hasn’t she.

She comes back and says it’s a safety issue, in which case how is a crop top going to mitigate that. And has she requested boys where them to minimise risk?

Or it’s a modesty issue, which is ridiculous.

[Fraying]

We don't know that the boys are doing the same gymnastics. OP doesn't even know if they change in the same place.
Our pe uniform at school was strict even stipulating gym knickers. It wasn't to ensure we didn't tempt the boys as it was a single sex school and our pe teachers were female. It was solely about the most appropriate uniform for the activity. Hence I'd have assumed the reasoning for this was the same rather than jumping to body shaming.

[JacquesHammer]

It was solely about the most appropriate uniform for the activity

A crop top won’t prevent a t-shirt being “up around the neck” though will it?

[Tinty]

DD came to me last night saying that she needed a sports bra or crop top for P.E in the future as the teacher had told this to a group of girls who had been doing gymnastics and their tshirts had fallen down when doing handstands.

Did the boys doing P.E. get the same suggestion OP? Or do the boys not do Gymnastics? In my DD's primary school the boys and girls did the same sports. So if girls were doing handstands the boys would also. They insisted that T-shirts were always tucked in though, so maybe this was why.

[movinonup]

Boys in this group were also doing gymnastics.
They were not told to wear bras/crop tops (to my knowledge anyway :) )

Changing in the same place isn't really relevant to the clothing being appropriate for the activity.

[CountFosco]

Sadly the primary school provided no sanitary bins so that made it all worse.

My 1980 primary school provided these and I certainly wasn't only child who needed them. It's bloody odd not to provide them IMO.

DD1 is in Y6 and was saying they don't have them at their junior school. I was surprised because my primary school had them in the 1970s.

[cricketmum84]

I think that's reasonable at age 9. My daughter is the same age and has just started wearing a bralette in a AA cup as she was self conscious of her nipples being visible through her t shirt (plus all her friends wear them). Girls start developing pretty quickly at this age!

[TadaTralala]

None of the girls in question have anything resembling actual breasts, They are all skinny or muscular wee things.

Really, how do you know? My DD is a very skinny 8-yr old but already has little buds....unless you have actually seen these girls' chests, I don't think you can assume they do not have some kind of development.

[WhenTheSkyFalls]

I have to agree tbh, yabu.

[movinonup]

@TadaTralala this has already been covered. I see these girls at swimming/gymnastics...also my house for sleepovers so unless they've sprouted since Sunday I'll stand by my statement.

[elemenopeee]

Why the shock @lisasimpsonssaxophone? Breaths do develop at 9 for some girls. A 24C or 26C is really a very small cup size.