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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Predicament

39 replies

Preggo1 · 05/02/2019 19:31

I’m 18 years old with a 1 year old baby my parents have split and my dad wants me to go visit him. He loves in Norfolk and I would need to get a train from Newcastle, is my mother being unreasonable by saying I’m not allowed on a train with my son?

OP posts:
itbemay1 · 05/02/2019 19:31

Your baby, your rules! You're an adult.

Original poster
Preggo1 · 05/02/2019 19:33

Just I’m very close to my man and I haven’t done anything like that before I just don’t know what to do Confused

OP posts:
Aquamarine1029 · 05/02/2019 19:33

Of course she's being unreasonable. You're an adult and the mother of your child. It's time to start being assertive.

moanymoaner · 05/02/2019 19:33

Yea your mum is being unreasonable , tell her to piss off you're an adult and a parent! You can do what you want!

laurG · 05/02/2019 19:33

Obviously, she is being unreasonable. You are an adult you can do whatever you want with your baby.

Original poster
Preggo1 · 05/02/2019 19:33

*mam

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 05/02/2019 19:34

What?

You have a baby. You can make your own decisions.

Mumsnet is seriously weird tonight.

Original poster
Preggo1 · 05/02/2019 19:35

The train journey is 4 hours I really want to go and see him but I’m just scared of dissapointing my mam

OP posts:
Bambamber · 05/02/2019 19:36

She is being unreasonable. You are the mother of your child, it is your decision whether or not you are happy doing that journey.

Is your mum saying it because she is concerned about your son, or because she doesn't want you to go and visit your dad?

callieisdoingit · 05/02/2019 19:36

Why would you disappoint her by sitting on a train for 4 hours?

Geminijes · 05/02/2019 19:37

This can't be real!

jessstan2 · 05/02/2019 19:38

I think you should go. Your dad wants to see you and his grandson. Make sure you have plenty of things to amuse him, four hours is a long journey for a little one. Perhaps that is what is worrying your mum.

Original poster
Preggo1 · 05/02/2019 19:38

I still live under her roof and she sticks with the “youlldo as your told while under my roof” she doesn’t get along with my dad whatsoever

OP posts:
Karigan195 · 05/02/2019 19:39

Um my son went on a train right the way through Europe at 3 months. Baby will be fine and of course he’s allowed on a train

Babyboysarenowbig · 05/02/2019 19:40

You are a parent and you are doing what you mum says? You are considering not taking your son because your mum said so?
You are an adult.

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 05/02/2019 19:47

Do you pay any rent,bills etc?

Original poster
Preggo1 · 05/02/2019 19:51

No I’m rent free I just replace what I use the last of

OP posts:
blueluce85 · 05/02/2019 19:56

She is definitely using that as an excuse to not go and see your dad. She has zero rights to tell you what to do.

I get the "my house my rules" but that only applies to behaviour under her roof! She cannot control your every move!

YourSarcasmIsDripping · 05/02/2019 20:07

Will your dad pay for you to go see him or will your mum have to pay for it/you'd use money you need for the baby?
Why doesn't he come to see you and meet up for a coffee or something?

MuddyMoose · 05/02/2019 20:10

Your mum is being unreasonable & a bit controlling by guilt tripping you.
You're an adult. You're a mother yourself. You can make your own choices.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend · 05/02/2019 20:12

Your an adult, irrespective of you live under your mums roof or not, I can’t understand this with house work, curfews, etc... but not as an adult traveling to meet a family member.

makingmammaries · 05/02/2019 20:12

If you depend on her for housing then it may be in your interests to avoid annoying her.

Deadbudgie · 05/02/2019 20:17

Well you won’t be under her roof, you’ll be on a train! Go for it

Aquamarine1029 · 05/02/2019 20:24

Op, you have GOT to start acting like an adult and stop allowing your mother to emotionally manipulate you. This is ridiculous.

MiraculousMarinette · 05/02/2019 20:24

Tbh it looks like your mum has an issue with you going to see your dad rather than with you taking you child on a train. It's just a more acceptable way for her to express her disapproval in my opinion.

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