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Original poster

Collecting ill DD from school

57 replies

ElderMillenial · 05/02/2019 15:41

Hello... long term poster but new account to name change as can never remember password. Can you please help me see if I have over reacted?

Received a call from DDs school at 2.20 saying DD has symptoms of the cold virus doing the rounds. Can I collect. I say of course but I am 40 mins away. I get there at approx 3pm. The lady at reception greets me but seems unaware of the situation. That's fine... She calls the class teacher who says she is somewhere reception end of the school waiting for me. We walk up and down the hall way but can't see her. She asks me to wait while she looks. I do. In that time I start to think "well old on... if her teacher thinks she's here and reception are unaware then where is she and is she ok as she sounded quite poorly. Then the reception lady comes back and says I think she's in here and looks a bit more. Turns out she is in the assembly room with another class. At this point I say calmly "I have to say, I'm very unimpressed that no one seems to know where my daughter is". As I say that a teacher comes out of the assembly room with DD and bag coat etc. She starts saying how they knew she was in the school with other things such as the reception lady being new and other things that didn't seem relevant. I said "well that's the bare minimum I'd expect, for you to know shes within school grounds" and took her bag and started talking to DD. She then said "well there's no need for that" as if I had kicked up a huge fuss rather than a passing comment and I felt disregarding and invalidating my worries.

What would you do in this situation and do you think I was right to have said something? The lady at reception was very kind and helpful but the teacher/ta was very rude.

OP posts:
Tink2007 · 05/02/2019 15:45

I would fully expect the receptionist to know where your DD was given that the phonecall would have come from reception. Or at the very least I would have expected the teacher/TA to say “DD will be in the assembly hall until her parent collects her.”

Sounds like a lack of communication to me.

CreakyBlinder · 05/02/2019 15:55

I think the second comment, given that it turns out she was fine and with a teacher, was a bit rude.

Schools in general seem to run on a barely held-together system. I wouldn't have panicked, just assumed she was with an assistant or teacher somewhere. Which your DD was!

Hope she's ok Smile

Janedoughnut · 05/02/2019 15:55

Was it the receptionist who phoned you as at my son's school the nurse sometimes phones. Last time I collected him when he was ill the receptionist didn't know about me being called so had to ring the nurse to locate him. It did take a short while to get through but as he's 14 I wasn't worried.

Original poster
ElderMillenial · 05/02/2019 15:57

I agree. I think it's because as I was waiting, her teacher and the people at reception didn't know where she was. These were the people (the only people) that I thought would. Perhaps if I had known there was a third lady I would have known what to do. DD says she is a ta and the person who rang me so it does make sense that she knew where she was...

I think I am now so annoyed because I did say it calmly and she reacted as if I didn't and that I was in the wrong for even questioning it but for a moment I did panic that DD could have collapsed in a corner and no one would know.

OP posts:
GruciusMalfoy · 05/02/2019 15:58

It just sounds like crossed wires between the staff. At my children's school it's often the first aid person person who will call if they need picked up. So the receptionist (who is often busy and not in the office) might not necessarily know who is waiting to be picked up.

I think your comment was passive aggressive, and that's why it was picked up on.

RolyRocks · 05/02/2019 16:01

Well, your second comment was rude, especially when you said it to the teacher (I assume different teacher class teacher and receptionist) who knew where your DD was, had her coat and bag for you and was bringing her out to you. You could have said it more politely, such as ‘I was just a little worried no one knew where she was for a minute there! Thank you for bringing her to me’. Acknowledge that the receptionist is new and move on. Do you expect everyone in the school to know where your DD is?

IWannaSeeHowItEnds · 05/02/2019 16:06

I think the TA was chippy because you were right - none of them did know where your DD was and they ought to. Why was she in with another class and not her own? That seems a bit odd to me.

Original poster
ElderMillenial · 05/02/2019 16:06

Ok so the second comment threw it. Perhaps I should call to apologise.

I didn't know to ask for this other lady and didn't really remember her name either. Perhaps that would have been the missing link and sorted it much quicker.

OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 05/02/2019 16:07

6 and two 3's here I think OP, you were stressed and perhaps sounded harsher than you thought, the TA was dealing with a sick child and then got short shrift from her mother.

I'd forget it and move on.

arethereanyleftatall · 05/02/2019 16:07

I don't think I would be that bothered, on the basis that she was definitely in the school somewhere, so safe. Just sounds like a miscommunication possibly about where she was to go. If she had the opportunity to somehow get out of the school, that would be totally different. How old is she?

passthejammydodgers · 05/02/2019 16:08

I don't think you said anything rude or offensive. They were probably just a bit defensive because you were right, they didn't know where she was and they know that's far from ideal.

Bumblebee39 · 05/02/2019 16:09

I would be upset too. Especially as she's ill.

PolarBearDisguisedAsAPenguin · 05/02/2019 16:12

It sounds to me like you were annoyed or inconvenienced at having to pick up your DD and as a result had little patience with the school. Taking 40 mins to collect, whilst sometimes unavoidable, meant it was much easier for your DD’s location to change and not everyone be constantly aware.

I hope your DD feels much better soon.

MiniCooperLover · 05/02/2019 16:12

I'd have been more annoyed at being called in early to collect her what,15 mins, before the end of the day? And you weren't rude, they clearly didn't have a clue what was going on.

Original poster
ElderMillenial · 05/02/2019 16:12

She's yr 2 but 7 as the oldest in the year.

I think I partly said it at the wrong time as the ta caught me saying it whilst DD was still "missing" and reacted. If I had said it to her as she passed DD over there would have been a thabk you but...

I probably did sound harsher than I meant to. I was stressed and my face is naturally miserable as sin when I'm happy so she probably thought I looked something much worse.

I wasn't even angry... Just disappointed. 😂😂😂

OP posts:
RolyRocks · 05/02/2019 16:13

Reading back on my post, I don’t think I explained myself very well. I think it was rude to snap at the one teacher who did know where your DD was, was looking after her and had brought her and your belongings to you.
You were probably more within your rights to question why the receptionist or class teacher didn’t know where she was, but even then, here was no reason to snap, in my opinion.
It is understandable that you were worried at the time, though and this was just a gut reaction from that.

TheLostTargaryen · 05/02/2019 16:14

The whole thing was pointless tbh. If school had called me because my child had a cold I would have wondered what the hell they were doing. It's a cold. I have never kept a child off for the sniffles. Secondly there were what? 40 minutes to an hour of school left? She wasn't puking. It's not worth the phone call. Thirdly, if she was so ill that she couldn't be in school then why was she in an assembly? She could have just continued her day until pick up time.

I'd be annoyed at my time being wasted never mind the fact they knew my kid was in school but no idea where.

RolyRocks · 05/02/2019 16:16

Good point TheLostTargaryen

IAmWonderWoman · 05/02/2019 16:17

The whole thing was pointless tbh. If school had called me because my child had a cold I would have wondered what the hell they were doing. It's a cold. I have never kept a child off for the sniffles. Secondly there were what? 40 minutes to an hour of school left? She wasn't puking. It's not worth the phone call. Thirdly, if she was so ill that she couldn't be in school then why was she in an assembly? She could have just continued her day until pick up time.

This.

MoreCheeseDear · 05/02/2019 16:17

I think she was a bit grumpy because it took you so long to get there. At least you know someone knew where she was. The new receptionist will soon learn the routine.

Mrshoneyneedsanewhat · 05/02/2019 16:18

They should have known where she was, it’s basic safeguarding. She was annoyed because you called her out when she was in the wrong.

IAmWonderWoman · 05/02/2019 16:19

I think she was a bit grumpy because it took you so long to get there

What was the OP supposed to do? Fly? We don’t all work five minutes round the corner. I think schools forget this sometimes. I’ve been called before and they were very surprised to hear I was half an hour away. Hmm

FannyFifer · 05/02/2019 16:23

They rang u to collect for cold symptoms at 2.20, when school finishes at 3, seems a bit over the top.

WhatTheNightBrings · 05/02/2019 16:23

I'd be pissed off that they felt she was ill enough to warrant being sent home, yet well enough to be ill amongst a group assembly.

crimsonlake · 05/02/2019 16:24

I am a bit gobsmacked that they called you so late in the day also. Normally if a child complains of feeling unwell in the afternoon and is not being sick you cajole them in to finishing out the day as by the time the parent arrives it is too near the end of the school day and it is home time before you know it.