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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to tell the boss of my boss to tell him to stay the fuck at home??

46 replies

KillItWithFire · 05/02/2019 11:45

So, for context. I work in an admin office, in a school...

... my boss' wife has swine flu... he is poorly himself (cough/sniffles etc...so probably has swine flu as well - came in yesterday... and he wants to come into the office as he's "fine"... I've said that's ridiculous, we have kids here, pregnant people... and ME all of which, could catch this, he still says he's coming into work...

...would IBU to go to his line manger and tell tales?

OP posts:
Alpacanorange · 05/02/2019 11:53

Appreciate you don’t want to catch up, but “telling tales” would make work pretty uncomfortable dont you think? You still have to work together afterwards. I would keep my distance but not sure there is anything you can do to prevent someone who “might “ have something from coming to work.

Alpacanorange · 05/02/2019 11:54

Catch it. Not catch up

Glitterblue · 05/02/2019 12:02

I doubt he would be in a fit state to be coming into the office if he had swine flu. It's much worse than a cough and sniffles and put me in hospital. I have never been so ill in all my life.

Littlebird88 · 05/02/2019 12:04

if he had swine flu he wouldn't be able to come into work.
try and stay away as best you can!

Wolfiefan · 05/02/2019 12:05

You don’t know he has flu at all. You can’t expect him to stay home as he has the “sniffles” Confused

Brainfogmcfogface · 05/02/2019 12:10

I literally wanted to die when I had swine flu, it was the worst thing I’ve ever been through, honestly if he had it there is no way he’d be working, or standing for that matter! I’ll never forget how awful it was. So I very very much doubt he has it. Agree he should stay away if poorly though.

MargoLovebutter · 05/02/2019 12:13

Does the boss's wife really have diagnosed swine flu, or is he just doing that thing where people say "The Mrs has swine flu, coughing and sneezing all night, can't get a wink of sleep".

Actual flu is far too debilitating for anyone to come to work. People often say that they have flu, when they have a bad cold.

I'm wondering what you would say to the boss's boss?

Hundredacrewoods · 05/02/2019 12:16

YANBU at all, it's an unacceptable risk.

Skittlesandbeer · 05/02/2019 12:19

Chances are it isnt swine flu, or even bog-standard flu. If it were, even in the early stages, there’s very chance of people ‘soldiering on’ or debating it with you over the phone.

But I have a weakened respiratory system and would be very Angry at people coming in with a contagious cold. It’s bloody selfish and I tell them so. If he does come in, buy a big can of spray disinfectant and use it liberally in his wake. Or eyes. Depending on how cross you get.

HeadsDownThumbsUpEveryone · 05/02/2019 12:20

He wont have swine flu if he feels fit and well enough to come into work. The chance are he just has a cold like 80% of the population do at this time of year. Why on earth would you go to his boss?

Also telling tales is what 4 year olds do you may work in a school but you are an adult. Hmm

ExFury · 05/02/2019 12:21

If his wife has swine flu he’s completely unreasonable to be in a school setting when he’s unwell.

JustTwoMoreSecs · 05/02/2019 12:22

He can’t just stay off because his wife has swine flu and he has a cold...
A cold, contagious or not, is not a reason to miss work!

Missingstreetlife · 05/02/2019 12:24

All flu is horrible and you wouldn't be at work, swine flu included. He has a cold. Who diagnosed his wife?

astoundedgoat · 05/02/2019 12:24

He doesn't have the flu. He has a cold. If he had the flu, even in the first couple of days, he would be physically unable to come into work. YABU.

karala · 05/02/2019 12:27

who diagnosed swine flu? It's just included under general flu now.

Loughers · 05/02/2019 12:35

It's potentially manflu - much much worse than swineflu...........

Belenus · 05/02/2019 12:37

It's very unusual for humans to catch swine flu. I think all you can do is practise good hand hygiene as much as possible. Anyone around you could be carrying various viruses.

Teateaandmoretea · 05/02/2019 12:37

Flu though is like anything else - it doesn't affect everyone in the same way. Sometimes you have some antibodies to a similar one so it doesn't come out properly. That said it isn't like a cold because the symptoms are different (temperature, aches etc rather than a cough and the sniffles) and it can make you incredibly ill but all this 'if you aren't in bed for 2 weeks it isn't flu guff just isn't true'. It's a bit like saying you haven't had a tummy bug if you were only sick once.

I don't know how she knows she has swine flu either. I think I did when it was going round and it didn't come out properly in me in that it came and went. I even managed to struggle into work on one day while I was 'between phases' (although I collapsed in a heap at around 3pm as the nausea then hit). But it wasn't a cough and the sniffles.

AuchAyeTheNo · 05/02/2019 12:41

I had swine flu. I genuinely felt like I had been hit by a truck, I couldn’t stand in the shower let alone make work!

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 05/02/2019 12:47

Masses of people say they've got flu when it's just a cold, albeit maybe a bad one.

That is, until they do get real flu (if they ever do) - they won't make that mistake again.

Besides the question of infecting other people, no amount of LemSip etc. will make you fit to go to work if you have proper flu. I think people are often fooled by ads which imply that they can - and that flu is just a bit worse than a bad cold.

GahWhatever · 05/02/2019 12:50

Colds come on in dribs and drabs. Flu comes on like a freight train. If he's well enough to work he doesn't have flu (swine or any other sort). Just stay out of his snuffly way and try not to worry. If he had flu he would not be in the office.

MrsJane · 05/02/2019 12:58

YABU. You don't know that he definitely has swine flu, he could just have a cold.

If he feels well enough to work then I guess it's reasonable to expect him to come to work.

Just keep washing your hands and eating healthily and maybe stay out of his way for a while if you're worried.

AcrossthePond55 · 05/02/2019 13:00

I had a boss like this. She would come in deathly ill and infect us all. Then she'd criticize our sick leave usage and brag about what a high balance she had. There was nothing we could do about it, the higher ups would have been on her side.

We pooled resources and bought a supply of Purell, Lysol spray and N95 face masks. She still didn't get it, but at least we were protected.

PickleFish · 05/02/2019 13:04

I know someone who had (diagnosed) swine flu in the outbreak a few years ago; she didn't even know, was still going to school, only felt slightly under the weather, but went to be tested because everyone did.

So the range of flu really varies. Those who have had awful bouts of it remember it as the worst illness they've had. Those who've barely been affected, don't always even know. It's a different virus to a cold, and usually bad, but not necessarily.

Teateaandmoretea · 05/02/2019 13:06

This study says average adult gets flu twice every 10 years. It would be pretty unlikely that an adult would never have had it:
www.advisory.com/daily-briefing/2015/03/06/how-often-does-the-average-adult-get-the-flu

It flies in the face of being in bed for 2 weeks being the only symptom for flu. And it is probably why it spreads around so much.