Having a baby's ears pierced?

[MumOfOne92]

AIBU to think it's absolutely ridiculous to get a baby's ears pierced?

Each to their own but...

That Seline is because you find it hard to be objective about your own cultural practises and therefore find them "normal" and not damaging. I think Nritish mums would be quite surprised and very indignant to hear what mothers from other cultures think about the way things are done here.

Barbarian I think it's more because I don't like inflicting pain and unnecessary infection risks after having two children with sepsis, rather than my cultural background. All three of mine have been incredibly unwell at birth and required a myriad of interventions and I don't understand why someone would willingly subject their child to a potential hazard that has no discernable benefit. Which is why I asked.

Of course cultures have different ways of doing things and everyone feels more comfortable with their own normal and sees that as the default. I'm married to someone of a different race and religion to myself and have three biracial babies so am aware of the sometimes stark differences of opinion (myself and my husband didn't notice any cultural differences between us as individuals until we had DC and some of the things both of us had assumed were normal completely shocked and horrified the other one).

@Seline
Looking like your cousins Aunties and mum is a “tangible” benefit.
As being proud of your cultural identity when you look different from general population.
You do realise the overwhelming majority of Jewish and Muslim boys are circumcisied and it’s been linked to lower risk of cervical cancer.
Plus my DD didn’t suffer as she had emlea cream applied prior to apt, imms hurt more as no local anaesthetic available on NHS.
I’m dubious about your wide eyed concern as I’m pretty sure you’ve posted negative things about ethnic minority’s previously....

I’m dubious about your wide eyed concern as I’m pretty sure you’ve posted negative things about ethnic minority’s previously....

What the hell? Where have I ever posted anything negative about an ethnic minority. My husband and children are ethnic minorities.

How is looking like someone a tangible benefit and how much resemblance do pierced ears provide anyway? Again I don't understand the point of "cultural identity" in this context. Culture is just tradition relating to certain geographical locations. If the tradition no longer serves it's purpose then why continue it just because that's how it always has been? I apply this equally to all cultures. I'm not a traditionalist in any sense and am a pragmatist, if it benefits people great if it doesn't it goes.

Imms protect from diseases. And EMLA cream doesn't provide complete numbness either.

Not trying to be rude I've never called it chavvy or anything like that, it just seems like extra harm and risk to the child to me.

Thank you Ghanagirl 🙌🏽

I hate seeing babies with pierced ears there is no point in inflicting unnecessary pain a child. It's wrong for cultural and vanity reasons. Cruel I would say.

Those of you saying 'don't judge, it's their choice.'
How can you justify people causing deliberate pain to their child for no reason? This is not something like putting them in unusual clothes or similar where it is parental choice and is of no detriment to the child.

Apart from the frankly ridiculous 'it's fine because everyone in my culture does it' has anyone actually given a reason yet why it is ok to deliberately inflict pain on a tiny baby for no benefit whatsoever?

And just for the record I don't think it's chavvy as I agree with pp that a practice which spreads across many cultures etc could never be labelled like that.
It's just cruel and parents who do it are just sheep who would clearly prefer to inflict pain on their baby than stand up against outdated cultural practices.

It's just cruel and parents who do it are just sheep who would clearly prefer to inflict pain on their baby than stand up against outdated cultural practices.

Wait, so all parents in Latin America, Spain and India are cruel sheep, refusing to stand up against cultural practices that YOU deem outdated?? Goodness. That's quite a statement.

So stroke I presume you think it's fine to deliberately inflict pain on a baby then.
I find it hard to believe that every single parent has it done in all of those areas but yes, assuming that they are not sadists who actually enjoy their baby being in pain, they are following the crowd which is the exact colloquial definition of a sheep or they think it looks nice and don't care that it hurts their baby or perhaps a bit of both.

I think it's horrible to have a baby's ears pierced but I know some cultures do it routinely. Well that's up to them & it's not going to harm the child so I don't criticise them for it but we indigenous UK people have no such tradition. I hesitate to use the word 'chavy', not a popular word on Mumsnet, but it fits in this situation.

How can you justify people causing deliberate pain to their child for no reason?

When ears are pierced properly it's not painful, which is why I think Claire's and their like shouldn't be allowed to do piercings but qualified parlours should.

Yes yes, I absolutely think it's perfectly fine to deliberately inflict pain on a baby... I actually don't know why we don't do it more often for shits and giggles!

I don't actually have an opinion on ear piercing generally but I do get pissed off when people spout off handed comments about other peoples' cultures and deem them "sheep" or "cruel" for doing something that has been done for generations before them. You're judging groups of people in other cultures by your own personal standards in your culture. Which is just a bit stupid frankly.

ewits that may be the case but this thread has already established that no decent piercing practitioner will pierce a baby's ears.

It’s abusive. Looks dreadful and labels the poor child from near birth. Why would anyone?

Regardless of what has and has not been historically acceptable in various cultures, we have a responsibility to update our cultural and legal norms to reflect modern thinking. We have made great strides in the last few decades regarding children’s rights and ability to consent etc and the ability of a parent to consent to wounding a child in the name of vanity seems an issue that should be reviewed. It’s legal as it has been for a long time and it hasn’t been reviewed, as everyone has said, it was more culturally acceptable in the past. Times move on. The UK is one of the most advanced legal systems in the world, I don’t think we should be taking our lead from Latin America and Spain when considering what is currrently acceptable re: children’s rights.

stroke just because something has been done for generations doesn't mean it's ok. For generations in Britain people were executed for all sorts of offences- it doesn't happen now. And if my 'own personal standards' in my culture are that not inflicting pain on babies is ok then I'll happily stick with them and judge the cultures that choose to put cultural norms above keeping their babies free of unnecessary pain.

Well said rainbow waffles and you put it so much more diplomatically and eloquently than me.

we indigenous UK people have no such tradition
I wouldn't say that's true, actually. I'm white British from a traditional working class background, and pierced ears on little girls were the norm when I was growing up. My inlaws (who are eastenders) were very surprised that I didn't have my daughter's ears pierced when she was born and couldn't really understand why. (Main reason was because I was too squeamish to look after them).

I never said the baby's were trashy, but items of clothing, jewelry, and accessories can look trashy even if the wearer isn't.

I thought it was obvious that I meant the piercings/earrings looked trashy not the babies. The same as a headband, big gold chain, or grill would look trashy on a baby. Not the same thing, but I guess some people are too thick to see that or just want to jump on something to circle jerk virtue signal over. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I guess some people are too thick to see that or just want to jump on something to circle jerk virtue signal over.

Oooof, someone's nose is out of joint. Circle jerking and virtue signalling.

It would never cross my mind.
Not part of my culture which is why. But I understand that it is part of other cultures.

My ears were pierced as a baby, and I can honestly say I've never quite forgiven my mother for doing it. It should have been my choice. I would never pierce my baby's ears.

@Seline
Your post at 18.42 is incredibly angry and similar your other posts.
I’m interested to know what “mixed heritage” background you’re from as initially you were inquiring and when called out suddenly angry and judgmental.

When ears are pierced properly it's not painful, which is why I think Claire's and their like shouldn't be allowed to do piercings but qualified parlours should.

Amen. I do think it should be done by an actual medical professional. Not just pain, but also hygiene, quality, less risk. When older, good piercing salon.

As some here cannot understand why someone would pierce baby's ears, I can't understand how someone can have their child's ears pierced in the middle of a shop.

It's not just about culture. It's also about safety, because it is a doctor doing it for babies.

And to gendering etc...
When I was a teenager there was nearly equal amount of guys with earings in the club as girls 😂
Early 2000's 😂