To leave DP because of his lack of ambition/work ethic

[AnotherDrearyDayInParadise]

I was married for 24 years. He was a very hard worker & we enjoyed lovely benefits. Together we turned our hand to anything that needed doing.
I had first Saturday job at 14 & apart from giving birth I have always worked. A lot of this work was in the business DH & I set up.
In times of financial crisis I’ve done literally any job that paid the bills.
Unfortunately DH & I separated a few years ago.
I have been working for myself since - I barely manage to get by - 8 hrs , 5 days a week.
I met DP about 2 years ago. He is self employed . We lived quite far from each other so there was a lot of ‘just off to work, talk later texts’.
We moved in together pretty quick & I’ve now realised he is lazy & content to just exist.
Over a year he works approx 10-14 full days.
He also works 2 hours 1 night a week.
He earns enough from this for rent for the year & bills etc.
We can’t afford to go on holiday.
He obviously has huge earning potential but he literally gets up at 11 every day & watches tv until he goes to bed.
We recently went abroad to wine & dine with his peers. I really thought hearing all the different/exciting directions they were going in would enthuse him but no - he can’t be ‘bothered to chase the work’ (his words).
The 14 days work is usually in 2-3 day chunks over the second half of the year so he usually has approx 7 months of doing nothing.
The work 2-3 hours a week is a secondary completely different job but pays £xxx an hour but he refuses to do more hours a week.
For me it’s just him sitting around all day every day. I don’t know if I can live with someone anymore that doesn’t want more for himself.
For context this (I now know) is how it’s always been. He hasn’t left a highly pressured job .

I need his job

It's taken you two years to realise?

There’s a lot of money in his family that you aren’t aware of.

You can't afford to go on holiday but you went abroad to wine and dine??

You sound incompatible. Go find someone who needs to chase happiness and let this guy enjoy his.

And totally need to know what job he does, I want it

Get rid.
I had one of these.
Work 6 months, 6 months off.
Except then he couldn't secure more work, so I propped us up, ran up debt, sold my flat.
He left me for a wealthy older woman that can keep him.
I'm now living in my aunt's spare room paying off debt I ran up to keep US afloat.
Please please get rid.

He works and earns enough to support the life he wants but you want him to work more to improve your life style.
Your life choices are just too different to sustain a relationship so you should leave as he clearly has no intention of changing to suit you.

As long as a partner can meet their 50/50 share of the bills their working hours wouldn't bother me per se. I couldn't get enthusiastic about someone who did so little though, it's not the lack of money but the work ethic and drive. I'd personally feel they were lazy and I don't like that as a trait.

My DH is like this although not at all well paid!

He has no career ambition at all, no ‘next thing’ mentality and absolutely no focus on money what so ever.

I’m quite driven, have a good career and I’m ambitious and also quite driven by money in the sense that I’m always looking to improve our ‘lot’ in life.

We’re both happy in our own way but absolutely don’t understand each other DH thinks I stress myself out for no reason and I think he wastes his potential by not striving for more, but because we’re adults we can talk about it and see it from each other’s perspective.

I recognise that for DH, the avoidance of stress is a bigger draw than money, and he recognises that for me, financial security and comfortable living is worth the stress.

DH does all the cooking, washing and most of the cleaning as well as a lot of the childcare so I never see it as laziness.

Married 11 years and blissfully happy

The funny thing is I find driven men don’t tend to prefer driven women or even go for them
But that’s just my experience

Two weeks work a year? Please tell me what job this is!

@Mortgages not the case for us, I don't think either one of us could deal with a coaster. Both very driven and push each other on, he paid for my masters out of inheritance he had. I think I know what you mean though, I think quite often there will be one driven person in the relationship as once children are involved it can be more difficult for both to manage ambitious careers. The fact it's more often men says more about society itself I think.

Oh and it was the same for both sets of our parents actually, our mums are the higher earners.

Yeah I kind of contradict myself as my fiancé is a doctor himself, me a surgeon but my post med school training has progressed much more quickly than his.