To feel a bit lonely now my daughter is in school?

[Mammyofonlyone]

Just that really. She is in year one now and I really, really miss her when she's in school, and look forward massively to the holidays.

I've always been aware that I have missed her since she started in full time school but just this week it has hit me that as well as this, I'm actually really quite lonely.

I have lots of friends locally, walk the dog every day and usually bump into someone I know, I go to two or three exercise classes a week and often run with a friend too. I am also involved with the school (in terms of supporting at events etc) and arrange catch ups for the mothers in my year so I feel like I have a good range of interests but I still feel like I'm rattling around in the house on my own and trying to fill time until school finishes.

I feel a bit of a sad loser admitting this. Does anyone else feel this way, or is it indeed just me? And do you have any suggestions as to what might help?

As a caveat, I know there are much bigger problems in the world than mine, but at the same time I don't like this feeling of loneliness.

Studying - good idea. www.futurelearn used to have lots of free online courses, many of which have contributors and discussion forums linked to some of the big unis.

I hadn't thought about studying, that's a good suggestion, thank you. As you say, it might lead to a job at some point too.

To be clear, I'm aware I'm in a really lucky position as regards having the choice to not work from a financial perspective, and a husband who is supportive of this decision. There's not a day when I don't give thanks for the life we have, not least being lucky enough to have our child in the first place. She is a blessing (even if she is often a nightmare!)

Or if you really really want to, then homeschool

Making a child leave school to be educated at home because her mum misses her is just selfish. Homeschooling should be for the benefit of the child, not the parent.

I think volunteering would be a good idea, OP. Keep looking for a suitable part time job as well.

I used to work as a midday supervisor at my son's school. It fitted in perfectly with family life and I got to have a little catchup with him. Loads of people I know used that route to get back into work.

There's not a day when I don't give thanks for the life we have

Yet you sound miserable, OP. Don't default to the 'I'm lucky enough to be a SAHM' position unless it's actually working for you, and it clearly isn't you're bored and lonely. You're only 'lucky' to be a SAHM if you enjoy it what you describe would be many people's idea of hell, and you're under no obligation to pretend to enjoy it if you don't.

yanbu because its how you feel. I work part time in a school so know i am lucky to have the holidays with them and do most drop offs/pick ups.

When my youngest is at school I plan to train in something new and will perhaps study on the days I am not working. Could studying be something you might consider? If you study something that could lead to a self employed future career all the better.

You are very lucky so please do appreciate how many people would love to be in your position.

sorry cross post - but yes to studying. I would love to study just for the fun of it! I would do a creative writing course and learn spanish. not jealous at all

YANBU op, my eldest is in reception and I do miss our days out and taking him to groups and the day being ours to do what we wanted with. I am at home with DS2 still and I'm really savouring the time now as it's so fleeting.
I don't think it's fair to say the OP lives her life through her DD, you're allowed to be a bit sad that that stage of your life is over.

Thanks Pixie, that's kind of how I feel and now her absence makes me feel lonely. I think it's a result of yearning for her for so long and feeling so lucky when she did arrive.

I don't think I'd be able to secure a pt role at her school (I have considered ft roles but they require working through the holidays etc so not suitable).

I think studying definitely sounds interesting

I can't really relate, but then I'm not a very mumsy parent!
I would suggest work to take your mind off it, as it's not healthy to be mooching around until your daughter finishes school.
Try voluntary work to begin with maybe, as you'll have more flexibility that way.

I get it. I think studying sounds like an excellent plan. I'm a teacher, so I get the holidays off. I absolutely love spending time with my kids when they're off, and would hate to have missed the fun we've had in the holidays.

OP - I can understand exactly how you feel.

I'm a DGM and have been working full time for decades now, but I still enjoyed my time at home with DC more than any job role I have done :)

what about school admin/receptionist? That way you will get the holidays off.

ah sorry, just seen thats not possible

Hi, if you have the room would bit be an idea to inquire about training to become a Registered Childminder (plenty only offer term time cover, do would fit in with your family). I used to be one for 13 years when my own DC were younger (I have 3 DD's) and in different stages of babyhood, toddler, pre-school through to junior school. I used to help with school functions & trips etc. It was really rewarding and added to my CV for future reference. It's also a good step up to training as a Teaching Assistant, if that would interest you. Your local authority or Pacey group might be able to give you some help. Good luck.

Sorry for spelling errors, that was my phone on auto! meant to say would it be an idea and also term time would fit in with your family. Funnily enough several of the mindees in my care were Teachers children, so the hours worked well on the whole.

I work three days a week and it really isn't a stress covering the school holidays. It just takes a bit of planning - we use annual leave and some holidays clubs. You can easily make it work if you wanted a job.

But lord I would not suggest getting a job at your daughter's school - allow her the space to grow as her own person. Any of my friends who had their mum's working at their school didn't like it.

I second getting a job

Honestly it’s friendly where I work and keeps me sane !

I'll give that some thought soberton thanks

Yes I must admit the thought of a parent getting a job at their kids school so they can see more of their kid is... a bit odd.

Totally understand how you feel OP. I also couldn't go back to my old career as the hours were completely non-standard friendly and they had nothing they could offer me as an alternative.travelodge are apparently very parent friendly, if you have one of those near you, but again, it's trying to find somewhere that will mean you can look after them in the holidays. Not all of us have handy grandparents or can afford nannies/Have the space for au pairs, so totally get where you're coming from.

Non-parent not non-standard, fucking auto correct.

I understand. I have five DDs (not all at school yet) and I still miss them when they’re at school/nursery. I love the weekends and holidays.

I have a full time job where I am having fun, and I can't think of anything worst than home schooling for us (totally happy it can be the best for other families). I still miss my kids, and I hate the end of the holidays. I have organised our house so we don't waste time on chores at the weekend either, so we are free to do what we want mainly being the taxi between sport clubs and parties