AIBU to ask how you manage your health anxiety?

[ohheyfreakingout]

I feel like it’s ruining my life.
In the last week, because of a legitimate medical complaint that is being investigated, I have convinced myself I have a brain tumour, MS, diabetes and a whole host of other neurological disorders.

Just when I started feeling better I went out for a walk after barely drinking anything aside from a cup of tea and coffee and having not eaten anything for six hours then when walking back had a funny turn - felt lightheaded and a bit off balance and like I was veering to one side, so now I think I’ve got a brain tumour again.

I have started counselling and am considering sertraline (doctor gave me leaflets) but the irrational part of my brains telling me all these symptoms of “anxiety” could be something else, something sinister - which I know is what it does.

I’m exhausted. im sleeping “well” because I’m so shattered at the end of every day but I wake up feeling exhausted again and willing the day to end because I feel like I’m just getting through it and existing - im fearful of what each day will bring.

I could cry.

Cbt basically. Sympathetic gp who would outright ask me what I was afraid off and talk it through.

Good self care (sleep, exercise, reduce external stress as much as possible etc etc).

Stopping google - fucker because I'd obsessively look for reassurance and it's so easy.

Dh who used to gently (and sometimes not so gently when he got really fed up bless him) talk it through.

But mostly cbt. Anxiety still present and always will be and I can tip into health anxiety fairly easily if I let it run but so douch better than I was.

Much not douch. Obviously

I will speak to my counsellor about this thank you.

I feel slightly dizzy and spacey right now, probably through sheer panic, yet I keep obsessively looking up people who had balance problems and veered to the left and found out that had a brain tumour.

Being trapped in your own obsessive brain is hell.

Without wanting to add another condition to your list of suspects, do you suffer migraines?
I ask because when I get a migraine I don’t get the classic headache I get the ‘aura’ bit, which for me is dizziness, unable to focus on anything, feeling hyper unable to concentrate properly but also tired and foggy head, spaced out, often eyesight feels a bit weird, classic anxiety symptoms and feeling paranoid about more serious conditions. A migraine is a neurological condition, not a headache, so it makes sense that it can grip you on such a way. But I’m still always surprised how much of an effect it can have on my ability to think clearly and how I feel mentally.

@girlfromtomorrow yes I do but they are focal migraines. I do have a current eye issue I’ve been referred for but this just seems to be swinging from one panic to the next.
I feel really off balance at the moment like I’m veering to the left a little and my head feels a bit weird, I can’t even describe it, kind of like fuzzy and spacey. This came on during my walk home and I think o was a bit dehydrated and hadn’t eaten for 6 hours so that probably didn’t help.

I can no longer seem to tell what’s being caused by anxiety and what’s actually a symptom of something 😢

I’m exactly the same. I’m so sorry you’re in this hell too. I’ve just self referred for cbt and am really hoping it will help. I convinced myself I had motor neurone disease or MS a few weeks ago... then a brain tumour. My anxiety is frequently transferring onto my son’s health now and this has been the trigger for finally getting some help.

Sorry not the most helpful post but offering a hand hold x

PM’d you op.

I'm EXACTLY the same. Could you be menopausal/perimeopausal? I am, and my anxiety has definitely got MUCH worse recently, and I'm a full-blown hypochondriac now. Whenever I read about a health issue, I will develop the symptoms within hours.

I'm starting counselling this week. It's horrible though, because I still worry that I might actually be ill, but brushing it all off because I know I'm a worrier. Basically, I think I'm waiting to die for proof. When I see the bright light, I'll be all, "I KNEW IT!" which probably won't be much of a comfort.

I don’t. It’s taking over my life and I wish I knew how to stop it.

I stick my head in the sand with it all which I learned in CBT is denial

It's bloody awful

I had health anxiety bad for 2 years. I had to speak to a doctor for them to convince me I wasn’t dying (I convinced myself I had a heart condition). I have been really poorly over the last 2 years with arthritis so I think that was the cause. Now I am getting better (RA wise) my health anxiety is getting better.

Silly suggestion, have you thought about colouring? My general anxiety and health anxiety is improving since I got a colouring book (I just have to hide it from my 2y/o)

@mollylips thank you. my current actual
Medical issue is with my eyes so I’m trying to avoid too much close up stuff but I will give colouring a go.

Thanks to everyone who has posted I am
Almost in tears that I’m not alone although I hate that you feel the same way.

I feel so exhausted now and like my adrenaline is permanently up - and no matter how I manage to tell myself it’s so unlikely that it’s sometning serious, I did have a traumatic experience previously and that’s almost validated my anxiety in my mind - I sort of think well you were right something was up that time (not life threatening obviously but just a very horrible experience that was thankfully over quickly). but it’s made it harder to still the rational part of my mind.

Can I ask people who also suffer - did you also feel shattered? I just want to stay in bed and avoid the world and myself. I dread getting up because I wonder what new symptoms I’m going to notice or develop.

I really feel your pain OP. Since an op on pre-cancerous cells 5 years ago, I have suffered horribly with HA, to the point I begged my mum and husband to section me as it was just taking over my life. Neurological conditions are what I always jump to also, and at times I feel like I can't trust my own body or mind. I'm never sure if my symptoms are real, a by product of anxiety, or imagined. It's exhausting, frightening and all consuming at times. For me, 20mg of Citalopram and staying away from Google works best, as well as keeping really busy so I don't have too much time to think about it.

I've been having cbt for this and it has vastly improved in the past few weeks. There's a good book too called overcoming health anxiety you could buy.
Main helpful points are the things we do to 'reassure ourselves' actually fuel the anxiety. Therefore stop googling cold turkey from now on! List all the possible causes of your health complaint for example if I have a headache I may think it's a brain tumour but it could also be tiredness, stress, anxiety, low blood sugar, dehydration, getting too hot, too much screen time, need to wear glasses etc. Now you can see how many other variables and that the likelihood of it being a brain tumour is much smaller.
Also if you avoid things which I was BIG on you have to stop avoiding them as avoiding also fuels the anxiety along with over planning and preparing for situations out of our control.
When you start to spiral in your thoughts stop and ask yourself is this a real problem or is this me excessively worrying.
Also if you are feeling a sensation stop and focus on another body part and see what you feel, often you will start to feel a lot of sensations from the part you are now focusing on - does this show you that maybe what you are feeling to start with is just a normal human body that someone not heightened to sensations wouldn't even notice or bat an eyelid at.
I would highly recommend CBT.

Antidepressants, complete google ban, focusing my mind outwards if I’m panicking. Being busy.
It’s shit though.

@iminastoreandimsinging great username
really good point about the listing things - I’ve just done that to myself about what happened earlier - I felt light headed and weird and like my body was sort of out of my control even though I was walking but I was probably dehydrated, tired, hadn’t eaten in hours so could have had low blood sugar, drank alcohol the night before, had been feeling anxious, it was absolutely freezing cold so it could have been a kind of brain freeze.... lots of reasons for it other than the one I immediately went for.

Lots of recommendations for cbt so going to look into that for sure.

In regards to meds so they make you feel zoned out/numb or just keep the panic at bay?

CBT for a while.

Now just "if I die I die" then I don't die and am massively relieved.

Also I've stopped googling symptoms. That was definitely the root of my problems. I just wait it out. Most of the time it's mins over matter.

I often have panic attacks because of it and that affects me more than anything. I get so wound up. But breathing exercises helps that.

I don't cope. I've got worse to the point I can't leave my house.

I think many of us feel this way so you're not alone. With me, I can get very stressed by thinking that I can do it all, work, look after my family and study. I go okay for a while then I get so stressed, my back ceases and I have no choice but to stop. This is all pressure I put on myself no one else does.
I once read on here the 44 symptoms of anxiety (?) something like that and realized a lot of my issues were all a result of anxiety.
For me, it comes down to slowing down, exercise, doing something you enjoy, such as reading, watching a movie, and giving yourself a rest.
We can't do it all and the world tells us we should be able to cope. There must be a awful lot of women out there pretending everything's great. Not eating and drinking is the first to go with me too but that only makes you feel worse. Force yourself to eat and drink and be kind to yourself.

@whydontyoucomeonover I’m so sorry x

@aldilogue eating and drinking seems to go out of my mind too then I wonder why I feel like I’m going to collapse.

I have this thing where I don’t dare tell myself it’s anxiety because then it’s tempting fate and I WILL be ill. the whole cycle is monstrous.

I think this time it’s been harder been it’s been hinged on something that’s actually happening - a problem with the focus of my eyes - so I can’t do all the things I usually do to distract me like reading, writing, working as it either strains my eyes further or reminds me that my eyes are a bit wonky and then the panic starts again.

I avoid googling any symptoms

Seems to be one of the unanimous answers
I’m trying to stop and now adding “anxiety” when I google a symptom instead of looking for something scary. It’s a start.

OP, thanks so much for this thread. I felt completely alone in this.

I am aware now I need to get some help soon.