AIBU to ask how you manage your health anxiety?

[ohheyfreakingout]

I feel like it’s ruining my life.
In the last week, because of a legitimate medical complaint that is being investigated, I have convinced myself I have a brain tumour, MS, diabetes and a whole host of other neurological disorders.

Just when I started feeling better I went out for a walk after barely drinking anything aside from a cup of tea and coffee and having not eaten anything for six hours then when walking back had a funny turn - felt lightheaded and a bit off balance and like I was veering to one side, so now I think I’ve got a brain tumour again.

I have started counselling and am considering sertraline (doctor gave me leaflets) but the irrational part of my brains telling me all these symptoms of “anxiety” could be something else, something sinister - which I know is what it does.

I’m exhausted. im sleeping “well” because I’m so shattered at the end of every day but I wake up feeling exhausted again and willing the day to end because I feel like I’m just getting through it and existing - im fearful of what each day will bring.

I could cry.

@proseccoaficionado I’m so glad it’s helped a bit even in a small way.
If you ever want to talk pm me. it’s such an isolating thing because it seems like it should be so easy to manage from the outside people don’t understand how destructive the mind loop/brain worm is.
hope you’re ok.

I’m awful too, op. So awful that I’m literally drowning at the moment.

I too have some unresolved health issues going on, which is fuelling it. I’m terrified of doctors and tests, which is making things so much worse. I’m waking with a racing heart and butterflies in the early hours and then can’t get back to sleep.

Last time I was bad, CBD oil helped me massively. It’s expensive, so when it ran out, I didn’t buy any more. I was fine until this health issue came up. Well, I say fine, I still get almost hysterical when something abnormal pops up with me or my children.

I sound ridiculous offering advice right now when I’m so bad, but:

No googling, ever. Also, no searching on mumsnet.
Keeping busy
CBD oil
No alcohol

Good luck- I really feel for you as it’s bloody awful

another sufferer here OP. i have suffered from HA for years and only recently made the connection that it is a form of OCD which i have suffered from off and on since i was a little girl. I go through phases of HA having a crippling effect and at other times i successfully beat the bastard. No advice here, sorry. Just saying there are others out there who suffer from it too. I recently found out one of my oldest friends suffers from it. I used to regularly pay to go to see different specialists about one thing or another but that fuels the phobia plus i don't have as much spare cash as i used to. Having said that.....i am planning on booking an appointment to see a physio as i have had mild lower back ace since july last year which seemed to be triggered since i forced myself to do sit ups incorrectly for a few weeks despite the pain. I hate going to see a gp as i always think they know i am a worrier ('time waster') so avoid like the plague.

@ansumpasty thank you. yes it really seems to have been triggered by this actual health issue for me. I feel like my anxiety is making the issue physically worse and I’ve have two medical professionals tell me stress can play a factor (and this was before they were aware of my health anxiety) but I tend to just not focus on that. CBD oil is interesting could you tell me more about it? (Trying to stay away from google!)
I hope you manage to get back control with the HA I feel slightly better this morning but I also have low level dread all the time. I always wake up with a stuffy nose and tensiony headache (which usually goes when I have coffee) but lately I’ve been making this into a symptom as well and of course anxiety makes you tense which creates tension headaches...

Thanks for posting @proton it’s horrible to know it affects so many but it does also make me feel less isolated

I'm the same @ansumpasty - phobias of evrrhfbjg medical.

Ejrfe did you get your CBD from? I'm considering trying it.

I’ve tried two types of cbd oil, one called Endoca and one called Love Dutch. Both work the same so no preference, except the second one is cheaper. I get it from a health food shop near my house. The Endoca I bought from a shop in Devon called The Hemp Wellness Centre.

Just been and bought some today. It was a miracle for me last time so I’m hoping it can pull me out of this awful sinking sand of anxiety that is just crushing me. Exhausted both mentally and physically.

One thing that does help me is looking at the stars and thinking about how small and insignificant we all are. The things I’m worried about right now won’t last because I won’t last and neither will anyone else. In the end, the worries don’t matter.

I also think about what’s the worst that can happen. If I die, it would be awful for my kids and my husband but they’d go on and life would go on. They’d be ok, in the end. None of it really matters. I’d also prefer it to be me than one of my kids, so that helps.

That sounds all really morbid but that mindset calms me down when I’m getting to the to point of a panic attack

My ha was v close to ocd too - I had post natal ocd and when that eased I was left with the constant need to check myself with via google or in person.

Oh and controversially I hated mindfulness. Triggered me right off all that stopping and being in the moment. Body scan = listing the various things wrong with me!

@fatpatsthong Absolutely! Even the progressive muscle relaxation makes you focus on feeling...an opportunity for my brain to concentrate on every pain, itch, ache and area of dodgy mole.
I also find meditation very hard

I’ve been doing so well today but am in the grip of panic again :(
Released that the nerve that controls the part of the eye that I have the issue with also control your neck muscles and I have a stiff neck so am back to being terrified I have something in my head pressing on the nerve.
Even though I KNOW I often get this tension when I’m stressed and I have bad posture a lot of the time (reading when leaning over the kitchen tops etc) none of that seems to penetrate.

I am so bored of myself and exhausted.

Concentrate on calming your anxiety, not calming your symptoms. It will have a knock on effect.

Stay off ‘no more panic’ website. For every comment that reassures you, there will be 10 more fuelling the fire or adding more symptoms for you to worry about, for example, ‘I have that too and am worried sick, especially because my feet now itch and that’s also a symptom of [whatever].’ Your feet will 100% then itch.