Being probed about toddlers bumps and tumbles in an accusatory manner.

[Bangersandmash1]

DS is 12 months and has been toddling since 11 months, he runs around (well tries to) so he has alot of tumbles and bumps which is to be expected of a toddler, surely?

One relative (who has no experience of toddlers or children at all for that matter) is forever commenting when he has a bump on his head, a mark or a little bruise from catching himself on the coffee table / tv unit etc. He's a boisterous little boy and does trip up several times a day as he tries to be fast on his feet.

It's starting to feel accusatory and I'm beginning to feel offended and annoyed, its as though they think we're deliberately pushing him over or god forbid hitting him. They haven't said as much but their inquisions stink of judgement.

I sent them a sweet photo of DS laid with his teddy bear today and he has a small bump on his head, the response was "oh I see he's had another accident" and started insinuating we shouldn't let him nap after he's had a bump to the head. He banged it yesterday ffs and it was a total non event.

AIBU to be annoyed about this? Would you be?

Mitzi I'm so sorry you went through that

OP, this would really annoy me too, MIL is a bit like this and it's very tedious. I don't think for a moment that they actually think you're either deliberately or negligently injuring your child - some people just feel the need to comment on everything they see, and people without children may have no idea how hurtful they're being. Try to let it roll off.

The worst injury my DD got as a child was in a playground and I was a foot away watching her on the equipment. She was 6.
The worst one my DS got was playing football w his dad.
You can’t constantly wrap in cotton wool at any age. I found as toddlers they got little scrapes and bruises but as they got older the injuries were more serious like sprains etc. DD was particularly prone to ankle issues (possibly as a result of playground incident). She has shut her thumb in at door, fallen awkwardly at trampoline park and hurt wrist skateboarding. All as a teen!!

DD 10 at the time strained a knee ligament running during PE.

It’s pretty normal for kids who are learning to walk, etc to have a lot of bumps. And some kids can manage to hurt themselves on nothing at all. My son broke his leg going down a slide! He’s also got a great knack for injuring himself at awkward times. He had his vaccinations the other day and I had to take him in with a black eye. That got some comments!

I don't have children OP but I wouldn't judge you and Yanbu to be annoyed.

My dp often jokes that people will think he beats me due to the high number of accidents I have, including but not limited to: walking straight into the back of a stranger and getting head butted causing a black eye, tripping over the rug in the entranceway to my house and smashing my arm against the shelf causing multiple bruises, walking into umpteen desk corners at work and spraining my ankle by walking out of my office (still unknown WTF happened) resulting in such bad swelling I needed to go to A&E as we thought it was broken.

Maybe we need to adult proof my house on reflection.

DS is two. He's forever falling over because he just loves running about and sometimes doesn't look where he's going. He's got little bumps and bruises somewhere on his body most of the time.
A little while back, we had to stay in hospital under observation because he'd fallen off a box at nursery. The pediatrician, who examined him, asked whether he's got any injuries. (He didn't...they were just worried about a possible concussion.) I mentioned the bruises but also that they hadn't been caused by the fall. His response was: "Well, I'd be worried about seeing no little bruises on a toddler. The way he's been running and climbing about here, he seems very healthy and happy."
It's normal. Tell them they are being daft.

My MIL used to do this. Every single time DS had a bruise or a scratch (rarely) she would be all over him until it disappeared. It took a lot of self restraint to point out that my children had never broken any bones on my watch or that I didn’t let my husband hit them. I’m normally not so bitchy but there is something about people criticising your perfectly adequate ability to keep your own child safe that gets your back up isn’t there?

"Yes, as you say, ds had an accident and accidents happen, it is none of your business as he is well looked after, now (insert your preferred expletive here) off."

Also, if toddlers don't get knocks and bruises someone would be suspicious that they aren't being allowed to do anything, learn how to walk and climb, develop etc. It's normal.

(I am in my 40s and have two bruises of differing colours on my left leg, so done on different days. I don't remember doing them as were done during general run of the mill things, they happen to us all.)