Husband pawned his wedding ring

[SoCockneyItHurts]

Six months ago. He received a reminder letter yesterday saying it was going to be sold unless he paid to get it out. I found the letter. I had no idea he'd pawned it. He never wore it anyway but 100% certain he's not the type to cheat. I'm so upset he did it, said he needed the money. Told him not to bother getting it out as it obviously means nothing to him. Aibu?

YANBU, I would be very upset about it too.

Presumably though, he had to pawn it, to pay a bill or something important?

He still should have discussed it with you.

What was his response to you finding the letter? Why did he never wear it?

I'd be more concerned about his/your finances to be honest, if he felt the need to pawn it, and in secret. If he never wore it anyway, does it matter if its in a drawer or sold?

YANBU. How much would he even have got for it?

Is he short of money or does he just over spend? I can't imagine even needing to pawn a wedding ring. Things must be pretty tight if he felt as though he had to.

What did he need the money for? Obviously there's a world of difference between funding a drug/gambling habit or needing to top up the gas meter.

Another asking why?

He said he needed the cash....but he had other items he could have pawned. Why the wedding ring?

The cash value would be on the weight - it must have been a heavy ring to make it worthwhile ? Odd thing to pawn tho.

I think the choice of object is a red herring. Why did he not tell you finances were so tight he was pawning stuff? Presumably he picked the ring as he knew you wouldn’t notice. The financial side would worry me far more.

How bad this is depends very much on the state of your marriage.

I would be much more perturbed about what is going on with his fianances

I would also be more concerned about finances that a piece of metal he does not wear anyway.

You wouldn't get a lot of money for it. I'd definitely worry about what other financial things he's hiding. He's obviously not got the money to pay for it now and they'll want more for it than what they gave him originally.

"He said he needed the cash....but he had other items he could have pawned. Why the wedding ring?"

See, I would be more bothered, in no particular order, about

(a) him having to pawn anything for extra cash

(b) not knowing why he needed said extra cash

But if this is a situation where money is generally tight and either of you would need to pawn something to free up cash and you know or don't care what he needed it for then... I guess the thing to remember is that he did pawn it rather than sell it, and I assume that he thought (as all people who pawn stuff do) that he'd be able to pay back the money before it was sold.

I'd be more concerned as to why he had to do it. Is he shouldering all the financial responsibility? Presumably if you were doing joint finances and sharing the bill s you'd have know there was an issue which suggests he has to do it alone and obviously couldn't at some point.

But what did he need the cash for? I’d be horrified if my DH pawned his ring rather than asked me to chip in for the bills.
I’d be horrified in a different way if he had a secret gambling addiction and had cleaned out all our accounts.
How I would react would be different.

Does he need the cash?

Why were you reading his post ?

Why were you reading his post ?

Not relevant though is it? 🙄

Did he pawn that over other luxuries he has? E.g. games console, computer, watch?

I would be more concerned at the fact he had to pawn something and hadn’t felt able or willing to discuss how finances at home were getting so bad.

Things must be dire to have to pawn a wedding ring. It can only have been worth £100 at most, I would have thought.

What he pawn it for ?

I'm another one who thinks the money issue is more important than the item. Sorry.