How about we start with your actual complaint, which is disorganisation causing your early morning
'FUCK FUCK WHERE ARE MY FUCKING KEYS OH FUCK I'M GOING TO BE LATE FUCK FUCK I'VE LOOKED THERE ALREADY FUCK. Oh. There they are. I've looked on top of the fridge three times already. How are they there?
not untidiness per se, as, whatever I might think of things being untidy, if you can instantly lay your hands upon whatever you want or direct somebody to them without having to be there, it's not a problem?
You need a cork noticeboard and hooks near the door (well up and away from the letterbox/can't be seen from outside) and to train yourself.
At the moment, you do it on Autopilot, but you don't do the same things every time, so you have no memory of where anything is. Training yourself gets rid of that - it doesn't matter how messy everything is if you know exactly where to find those items when you need them.
Put a corkboard up behind your front door. Keep it on the hinge side and high up, so you need to reach up (the action helps you to remember) and nobody can see or reach where your keys are kept from the outside.
As soon as you walk in through the door, you turn and put your keys/work lanyard/work keypass/keys on their hook. Every time. Without fail. Say out loud 'Keys' as you do it.
There will be other things you always do - I take my bag and hang it up, take my coat off and hang it up, kick my shoes off and head for the bathroom. This means there is somewhere to hang my coat and bag (the banister) and a shoe rack exactly where I take them off, rather than somewhere else in the house. I then take my phone out & put it down beside the kettle as I walk through the kitchen to the bathroom. There's a socket with a charger permanently in it there. When I come out from the bathroom, I'm going to put the kettle on, so I plug my phone in (and will be able to find it later).
Within days, you will be able to mime your actions. And if you slip up, simply by retracing your steps and miming, you will remember any deviation from the routine, which will guide you to the hiding place of whatever is missing.
On the way out in the morning, never touch the front door without your keys in the hand that turns the handle. Step outside, but rather than allowing the door to close behind you, turn to face it and, still holding your keys in your hand, then you look at your hand with your keys in, saying out loud 'Keys' as you pull the door shut. This avoids the homecoming spectacle of you emptying the scraps of paper, old biros, loose change and dusty tampons from your handbag and pockets over the door step to the tune of OH SHIT SHIT SHIT THEY MUST BE AT WORK SHIT SHIT where you can't actually remember picking them up in the morning. (I'd also recommend a spare door key that is physically attached to the inside of your bag at all times, just in case you leave them at work or drop them on the way home).
Once you've trained yourself to not do the morning OH FUCK routine, you'll have the worst part sorted and can start looking at everything else. 
Yes, I know this is reminiscent of training a dog. That's the point. You train yourself to do these things automatically with verbal and physical commands, you see yourself doing them, you feel yourself doing them, you hear yourself doing them.