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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be worried about dd and her maths

74 replies

Cheekysquirrel · 02/02/2019 11:04

She is just three and can’t count to 5.
She knows if she’s got one, two, three or four of something but that’s as high as she can go.
She can’t even count by rote to 5.
Ds was miles in front at the same age. Dd has absolutely no clue and no matter how many times we practice and sing counting songs and play games it makes no difference. She only retains it for a few hours and then it’s gone again.
It’s so random because she can remember nursery rhymes, she can talk about things that happened nearly two years ago. But she can’t count to five.

Does anyone have any rips apart from counting everything with her which is what I’m doing anyway. Currently she touch counts to 4 and then after 4 inevitably says 7! It’s so odd because most children her age would know the sequence and 5 would just naturally come after 4. She has totally no idea and we’ve been doing this with her just naturally really since she was very small.

OP posts:

PorkPatrol · 02/02/2019 18:55

If she can learn nursery rhymes then 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 Once I caught a fish alive will get her there by rote.
The best way to teach them to actually count ime is stairs though. Every time you go up or down stairs count the stairs. Kids tend to find it a lot of fun and it helps them grasp that when they are counting they are counting things and not just saying a list of numbers. My dc2 could count to 100 in nursery and I put it down to me wanting to lose the baby weight and always taking the stairs (and living in a place with a lot of stairs!) 😂

Zwischenwasser · 02/02/2019 19:01

suddenly they get a loaf of objectives they have to meet and are classed as not meeting, meeting or exceeding expectations

Yep. But what actually happens if they don’t meet expectations?

FAT lot of fuck all. It is meaningless. OFSTEAD sets targets for schools. Don’t get suckered in to thinking that it means for have to GAF.

Zwischenwasser · 02/02/2019 19:02

*that you have to GAF

Typing on a touchscreen with a bandaged hand.

Minta85 · 02/02/2019 19:12

Why on Earth are you expecting a three year old child to be able to count? They will learn all that when they start school!

BlueJag · 02/02/2019 19:16

Our son didn't even talk let alone count at 3. I never thought him anything academic. We used to read together and that's it.
He is 13 now very bright and no problems at school.

Silverstreaks · 02/02/2019 19:18

You are comparing one child against the other. Stop. Right now.

They are different children. They have different strengths.

Wait to see how it unfolds. Your second child is accomplished in other ways.

arethereanyleftatall · 02/02/2019 19:21

You can so see how this nonsense happens.
Parent A gets tutoring for their kid at 9 for 11+.
Parent B thinks how can I get my child ahead? Ooh I know I'll tutor at 8.
Person C thinks...
Then we end up with this debacle.

BlueJava · 02/02/2019 19:46

YABU - she is 3! It's fine, please relax and don't stress.

Helix1244 · 02/02/2019 19:57

Is she going to school next year?
I would be more concerned about not being able to remember but you say she can remember other things

Original poster

Cheekysquirrel · 02/02/2019 20:09

She can sing the fish alive song, no problems. The only way she can count is by singing it in the tune of the song!
It’s just strange that when counting after four she will just jump to eight (unless singing the song)

She can touch count to four but no higher and doesn’t recognise how many dots are on dice although can do 2, 4, 6 and 8 when looking at Lego pieces.
She only recognises digits 1, 3 and 4 but picks up letters ok although she says number 2 is a ‘s’ which is pretty close I guess...

OP posts:

HavelockVetinari · 02/02/2019 20:17

Meh. I was at Cambridge with a chap who got a starred first in engineering - apparently he couldn't count to ten till he was 5 and a half.

Cheeeeislifenow · 02/02/2019 20:41

I think this is actually a stealth boast

Nanny0gg · 02/02/2019 20:50

Oh dear god! She's fine!

What do you think will be achieved in the long run if she can count to 10 before she starts school? Or to what detriment if she can't?

couchparsnip · 02/02/2019 20:50

Thats not strange OP. Its a normal part of development for many kids. Numbers are just words to her right now and she's playing with them. The fact that she can recognise any numbers or letters at all is good.
Let her play and enjoy herself. Learning comes easier when everyone is relaxed.

arethereanyleftatall · 02/02/2019 20:55

Have you actually read any of the responses op? All of them have told you the same thing. No one is going to respond to your very specific message at about 8pm, as no one cares how many spots on a dice your daughter can count (or whatever you said, I confess I didn't read it properly) because it's irrelevant.

mumeeee · 02/02/2019 20:58

YABU. As others have said she sounds normal for a 3 year old. Just relax

Original poster

Cheekysquirrel · 02/02/2019 21:00

No I know no one cares
It was just an example of something she can’t do.

I don’t suppose it matters really. I’m not even remotely considering private school btw.
Ds has had some Sen issues - although he’s ok at maths and it’s probably made my hyperaware with dd. Ds was allowed to plod on for about four years as well before anyone did anything. I just kept being told ‘he’s a summer born boy’ but it wasn’t that at all - it was only when the gap kept getting wider and wider that he got any help at school.
It’s made me want to make sure if there are any problems there’s intervention sooner rather than later.

OP posts:

MorbidlyObese · 02/02/2019 21:06

This reply has been withdrawn

Message from MNHQ: This post has been withdrawn

User10fuckingmillion · 02/02/2019 21:09

She is 3-it really doesn’t matter! Everyone will be at different points in reception.

Original poster

Cheekysquirrel · 02/02/2019 21:11

Thank god my dd doesn’t go to your son’s preschool morbidly. She’d be below the below expectations!

OP posts:

anniehm · 02/02/2019 21:29

My daughter couldn't talk at 3! Ok yes she's autistic and actually brilliant at maths but no she couldn't count at 3. If she 5 perhaps there's an issue but not 3

tillytrotter1 · 02/02/2019 21:39

Neither would I subscribe to the "I'm barely numerate and it's fine" boast

This attitude used to drive me mad! You never hear a parent saying 'Oh, I can't read so it's not surpising!' yet it's acceptable to say that about numeracy.

Armadillostoes · 03/02/2019 07:57

Tilly-I can see your point but given the unnecessary pressure to get maths GCSE and the absolute necessity of reading you can see where it comes from. I got the pass I needed at GCSE Maths (B) but did a LOT better at everything else. No maths I learnt past the age of 12 or so has in any way been an asset in later life.

Whereas, if I had been allowed to spend time doing something I was actually good at for GCSE it might have been beneficial in the long run. Negative attitudes towards Maths in general are a product of our education (Note I don't blame the teacher-my GCSE Maths teacher was amazing!)

ooooheck · 03/02/2019 08:31

Another one here saying relax! (Hard I know)

I was so bad at maths as a child and I didn’t have anyone at home to help (disinterested parents). I got held back a year in y3 for maths and had to sit with the y2s. It was so embarrassing

However, I caught up by myself. Managed to get a decent grade in GCSE maths, did my second degree in a science subject and I am now a trainee accountant! (Career change).

She’ll be fine. Just relax and only worry when you need to

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