To be worried about dd and her maths

[Cheekysquirrel]

She is just three and can’t count to 5.
She knows if she’s got one, two, three or four of something but that’s as high as she can go.
She can’t even count by rote to 5.
Ds was miles in front at the same age. Dd has absolutely no clue and no matter how many times we practice and sing counting songs and play games it makes no difference. She only retains it for a few hours and then it’s gone again.
It’s so random because she can remember nursery rhymes, she can talk about things that happened nearly two years ago. But she can’t count to five.

Does anyone have any rips apart from counting everything with her which is what I’m doing anyway. Currently she touch counts to 4 and then after 4 inevitably says 7! It’s so odd because most children her age would know the sequence and 5 would just naturally come after 4. She has totally no idea and we’ve been doing this with her just naturally really since she was very small.

Op so what if the child is marked as not meeting expectations!

At 4, 5 or 6.

By age 8 9 10 that may concern me and get lots of extra help but otherwise who cares! There is no pressure or shouldn't be on the child

OP Why do you care about people making judgements about your child at school? It doesn't sound healthy to be so anxious about this and I know very few Reception/Year 1 teachers who would endorse your approach. This isn't going to help you no doubt bright and lovely DD to flourish.

But if people think that there are no expectations for 3 year olds they are sadly mistaken.
Kids I know in preschool get homework now.

It's your response to those things that's important. Rather than ignore those expectations, or smile and nod, or avoid people/places that set those expectations in the first place you're worried.

She's 3. None of this will remotely affect her GCSE grades.

My daughter has just turned 3 and she can count to 10 but often misses numbers or says them the wrong way round am I worried, HELL NO. When my eldest son who is now 7 started nursery he could barely put a sentence together let alone count to 5. He is now in year 3 and is beating every national target.
Every child is different so please stop putting pressure on a young child!

And I re-read your OP - you said she's JUST 3, not rising 4 and due to start school this year. She has almost two years to go before she starts school.

😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣

She sounds like a perfectly normal 3yo.

Chill.

I worked as a TA in a reception class and this describes about a third of children as they start school. Your Dd is just 3. Chill! She'll catch up. What can she do? Does she draw, run, talk a lot. That will be what she is concentrating on.

Don't worry OP. I've realised there are 3 types of people in this world.....those who can count and those who can't.

It's really easy (and a studied phenomenon) to pass on your maths anxiety to your child (especially girls!). You need to relax and let her get on with it at her own pace, because otherwise she'll start picking up on the fact that you think she's hopeless at maths and it'll become a self-fulfilling prophecy!

It sounds like you're doing a great job practicing songs and doing counting regularly, so just suspend your high expectations for a while. I'm sure you and she will feel better for it!

Chill out
She is three
You cannot force it
Of course keep doing counting s9ngs and counting at each opportunity in a relaxed way o e spoon two spoon. One pea two pea three pea on your plate
But chill!

You definitely need to calm down. She won't be at school for over a year and a half. Even then they're OK as long as the know numbers up to 10 in reception. Don't turn it into a chore or put her on the spot and expert her to perform. Just count things out while she's there. In six months time she'll have picked it all up and you'll be concerned about her letter formation.

Also I wouldn’t worry about the exceeding, expectant, all those things, even when they start school. Everyone learns and grows at their own pace. My dh was pretty slow at primary school and everyone didn’t expect much of him academically, now he’s doing research and has a phd and a successful career. You really can’t tell at such a young age. She sounds lovely just enjoy her as she is.

That is a problem. But the problem is your attitude, not a baby's ability to repeat one two three four five and copy you waving your fingers

I understand your panic particular yearn you compare it to a child you already have who mastered these skills earlier.

Please try and calm down. I am a maths teacher, I have set one pupils who can do high level algebra and struggle to count up in twos or recite times tables quickly.

Counting to 5, isn’t actually counting either it’s reciting. Can she sing 1,2,3,4,5 once I caught a fish alive?

Counting is actually knowing the numerical value so if it’s just the fact she can’t remember the number two, follows the number one. I’d try to relax. Just maybe count to 10 with her a couple times a day as a game, make it fun and unpressured.

Please follow other advice here though and relax, don’t worry about it. She sounds fantastic as she is ❤️

not really being pedantic, but counting isn't maths. It's arithmetic, and hardly that. I thought the thread would be about something different. It's a long while since my son was 3, and I'm not sure what is normal, to be honest.

Blimey. She's three!! She sounds pretty normal to me. Stop stressing.

Whatever happened to letting a child just be a child??

I don't believe that any pre school school gives homework.
You are being ridiculous... There are plenty teachers on here to tell you it doesn't matter she is three.
I think your expectations are far too high and you should just enjoy your daughter being three.

Oh. My. God.

Take several chill pills and let your 3yo paint her shoes or something similar

It’s fine to say chill out she’s three but it’s not long until school when suddenly they get a loaf of objectives they have to meet and are classed as not meeting, meeting or exceeding expectations

This really is a damning indictment of the perils of competitive parenting.

In fact people I know with children even younger than 3 and in childcare have already had judgements made about where they are operating and where the should be

Sadly, you're not wrong, op. But isn't there just a part of you that recognises how ludicrous it is, and what a negative effect it could have on your child's self-esteem in the long term?

You don't have to buy into the Ofsted-driven 'Emperor's New Clothes' bollocks rife in primary education at the moment (much of which is anathema to many experienced teachers). Children get enough pressure at school. It's your job to act as a bulwark against it, rather than adding to it.

My dd was given reading for “homework” when she was at preschool - because she was starting to read and they wanted to encourage it. I didn’t mind as we already read and we didn’t treat it as homework.

Being 3 - you don’t have to push your dd.

What you would be best to do is realise that children develop at different rates.

My youngest started reading at about 3, wrote her name at the same age etc. I was amazed because my eldest was nothing like this and hated being asked to write until he started school just before he turned 5. I’m glad my eldest was “behind” because I may have been like you if I’d had DD first.

I’d worry if she couldn’t count to 5 when she got to school after being taught. But certainly not at 3.

I have worked in a pre school for many years and I would say that your daughter is showing completely normal development for a just 3 year old.
Some children of that age can recite more numbers but they will not actually have a concept of the amount those numbers represent.
A game my DS used to enjoy was lining up his toy animals and turning each one around as we counted it. He could accurately count to 8 at about 3 years old. My DD took longer to learn to count but she has a better maths GCSE grade than my DS.

There’s nothing ‘only’ about being 3 anymore I’m afraid.

LOLZ. Good one. 👏

Seriously, unclench. Poor wee three year old.

Your buying into comparative parenting. R u thinking private school by any chance?