to not understand people that are afraid of dogs

[Josico58]

Is it not an extremely debilitating and irrational fear? Based on how many dogs there are about in public, how do you go about daily life? And to think they’re all about to attack you for no reason?

I can understand people feeling nervous of a big dog hurtling towards them/their small children, but regular, well behaved dogs in public places. Really a problem?

Don’t mean to sound harsh but it just comes across as a bit pathetic to me.

A friend’s little girl is terrified of my dog. It’s a Cavalier puppy, hardly scary! I admit he can be excitable and full on, and we’re training him not to jump up or lick people. But the mum kind of enables it, picking DD up and saying “it’s OK, he’s not going to get you”. I’m left feeling a bit “Er, get a grip!!”

AIBU?

Sorry, as an animal lover I just can’t understand this seemingly common fear.

I suspect popular opinion will be that I am and I’m ready for the backlash!!

I like dogs A LOT. Always fuss them, happy to let them jump up on me. Having said that I totally see how they are frightening. Loud barking, sharp teeth, big paws (depending on size of dog). Also, some people simply don’t like them and don’t want them jumping on them, and that’s OK.

@User5436477 luckily I don't know any pathetic individuals who refuse to be in the same room as my beautiful boy. But if I did, they wouldn't be welcome in my house. My FAMILY MEMBER is more important.

@Imissgmichael

OP no you’re wrong. Get off your high horse. People are frightened of dogs for good reason. Keep your dog on a lead and stop it jumping up on people.

My dog has never been let off a lead becuase it’s a puppy.

@User5436477 luckily I don't know any pathetic individuals who refuse to be in the same room as my beautiful boy. But if I did, they wouldn't be welcome in my house. My FAMILY MEMBER is more important.

Tbh though any animal jumping up at you, getting in your personal space is a bit scary.

Imagine instead of a dog it was a rat jumping up at you repeatedly, or a bird flapping in your face, or a fox. All smaller than a dog but that would certainly make you feel uncomfortable.

It's scary, especially if you are small. It's that repeated, jerky movement in your personal space. We are designed to be scared of that because in the wild that would be dangerous to us.

It's pretty nasty to call a small girl pathetic, it doesn't take much empathy to realise that not everyone likes your dog and that a dog jumping up at you is at best annoying.

I really think dog owners need to get over the fact that lots of people don't like their dogs. Lots of people don't like my gerbils but I don't get offended, people would think I was mental. Same thing

pinkGin I don't think they will be coming to your house in the first place tbh

Pathetic?
Is it only those who are scared of dogs that are pathetic? What about spiders or snakes or clowns or even balloons?
I love my dog.
Other people may be terrified of her. So I make sure she doesn’t approach strangers and keep her under control.

@Wolfiefan

So you can have a phobia of anything except for something you are likely to encounter regularly? You really don’t understand phobias do you? hmm

Perhaps not, I can’t really think of any phobias I have. I’m only really scared of rational, logical things to be scared of, such as rapists, car crashes, etc. This is a genuine comment, not looking for any kind of reaction. I suppose if I did have an irrational fear of something I would understand better the fear of dogs. That’s why I said in a previous post I can understand the fear of people that have been previously attacked, or are close to someone that was, rather than those that just seem to be scared of dogs and think they’ll be attacked, desipite no (obvious to me ) reasons to believe that is about to happen.

Ah user hit the nail on the head a lot of people see their pets as family members so it’s akin to saying you are scared of their kids. My SIL corrected me dog is not an it it’s a he. Unfortunately most family members don’t jump up on you , don’t lick you enthusiastically etcetc while doting owner looks on .....

Your attitude is very patronising op. I don’t like dogs and am nervous around them. I love cats but don’t think it’s “ pathetic” that other people find them scary . And I taught my dc to be wary of dogs because it’s my experience that they can be unpredictable and owners are not always responsible , so I didnt want them to happily approach all dogs when they were younger.
Your responses show no signs of wanting to understand and no empathy towards people being entitled to another opinion. It’s typical of some dog owners attitude that their dog is so great that everyone should love it .

Plus sometimes it’s not fear people find all that licking unhygienic and disgusting

PinkGin24

No one cares about you or your stupid dog. That must be why you are always on mn spewing hate. Your life must be so empty and bleak.

@nooddsocksforme that’s great that you’re teaching your DC to be wary. I’m impressed with how many little children know to ask “can I stroke your dog” instead of sticking their hand right in. This is only a good thing.

I'm an animal lover too but I get a bit scared when I have to walk past a large dog on the street. when I was a child a dog jump up at me and managed to knock me to the ground, the dog was taller than me standing on it's hind legs, it may not have meant any harm but it scared me at the time. I was just walking down the street too so the same fear just naturally comes back to me although I love dogs when I know if they're friendly. Most people don't simply decide to be scared of something

@scissorsandpen

Plus sometimes it’s not fear people find all that licking unhygienic and disgusting

Totally appreciate that. It’s something we’re very conscious to train our dog not to do.

Just re-read you OP.

As an ANIMAL, a pack animal, which your dog is, he observes a certain hierarchy.
You, as the owner, feeder and pack lead, sit at the top of the hierarchy. Your dog is likely to accept this and not challenge.

A child, is likely to be seen lower in the hierarchy, sometimes even at the bottom and below the dog.

If you cannot see this, and put behavior and signs in place that it is not ok to jump or be over excited around this little girl, you are confirming the status of the child as below that of a dog in the pack order. This is the kind of behavior that can lead to aggression and attack.
How the “£&ck is the dog supposed to know something if you don’t tell it in the language of the pack?

Children have a fear of unpredictable and teeth, claws and jumping is exactly that. They are children and need protection .

I’m only really scared of rational, logical things to be scared of

What, like unpredictable animals with sharp teeth that invade your personal space?

Try seeing it from someone else's pov, op.

I love dogs, big and small. I am hugely enjoying living in the US in a dog friendly apartment block. There are dozens of dogs of every shape and size. I would say that at least one in four trips in the elevator involves sharing with a dog. No avoiding the lift when you live on the 24th floor either. Most of the dogs are super friendly and the owners are happy to let people pet them. Dogs seem to be much more a part of life here, right in the city centre you see dogs being walked and there are dog parks where they run around together having a great time. Our nearest dog park is unfenced. When we walked a huge dog for our neighbours people frequently brought their children to pet him and people would stop in the street to chat about him. Maybe something has gone wrong in the British dog culture somewhere to cause so much distrust of dogs.

I love dogs but I fully understand that phobias exist and sometimes they are irrational but can really impact on the persons life.
Most people with a dog phobia most likely had a negative experience during their formative years, perhaps a big dog ran and chased them or they were bitten. A friend of mine has a dog phobia because every day as a school girl she had to walk by a neighbors gate where 3 big Alsatians would jump up and bark at her as she passed them. She became anxious everytime she had to walk by them as it was so stressful.

The reality is everyone has different life experiences, and a lot of people of phobias. You might not understand their phobia but at least try and put yourself in their shoes and imagine how other people see the world.

Don’t worry pinkgin, you’re not a good pet owner so nobody will won’t to be near your dog.

I love dogs. We have 3. But I don't expect other people to like or even tolerate my dogs. If dd has a friend over who isn't keen on dogs, we shut them in the spare room, so they don't upset the child. Our dogs can be quite bouncy and loud when all together, and for an already fearful child, I can imagine must be quite overwhelming, so I would never just expect them to deal with my dogs behaviour if they didn't want to. If the parent explains that the child is scared of dogs and it's something they're working on, I'd ask if they'd like to meet one of the dogs. If they agree, I'd put the calmest one in a lead, and bring them downstairs, letting the child approach in their own time, making sure the dog stays still and calm, and the child can choose if they want to interact with the dog. Usually this ends with the child stroking the dog, and being extremely proud of themselves for facing their fear and being brave. Had one of dds particularly phobic friends end up giving treats to one of our dogs and asking him for his paw and to "sit", which was so lovely, but this only happened as she decided she was curious and wanted to meet the dog in a calm, safe, predictable (on a lead) environment. You cannot expect a child that's already afraid to be okay interacting with a dog when it isn't on their terms. Letting your excitable puppy jump over a fearful child could cause long-term issues for that individual. No matter how small and sweet you think your dog is, It isn't to everybody. Maybe that parent is trying to get her child used to dogs by choosing to let them interact with already trained, predictable, calm dogs, not a hyperactive, jumpy puppy, which is just going to reinforce to the child that dogs aren't trustworthy, and should be avoided.

I’m only really scared of rational, logical things to be scared of, such as rapists, car crashes, etc crap analogy. You wouldn’t expect people to keep rapists in their home and introduce them as such.

It’s very telling that so many pages in your still struggling to empathise.

@Josico58

My dog has never been let off a lead becuase it’s a puppy.

Except for the time when it jumped up on a small child whose mother had the temerity to comfort her. I am grown adult and I absolutely hate when dogs jump up on me with their filthy paws.

I encountered a dog owner like you when my DD was a preschooler on one of those little bikes with stabilisers and I was pushing baby DS in a pram. The dog bounded up and stuck its face between DD's handlebars. She was terrified as it was nearly eye level with her. I calmly called to the owner to call her away and he unleashed a torrent of abuse at me, accusing me of making my daughter afraid of dogs. No, she just doesn't want your mutt sticking its gob in her face and neither do I, thanks very much.

@DasPepe agree, completely. My dog gets a telling off for jumping up, and for whenever he licks us. It’s something we’re working on in training, but like most things takes a few repetitions for them to understand.

Phobias aren’t logical. You’re being ignorant and goady OP.