To be terrified of getting a dog?!

[Pullyers]

To be clear I LOVE dogs, I'm not terrified of actual dogs. I'm just terrified of the change to our life. I can see so many positives and we have all the basics covered ie I don't work, can afford it, v suitable lifestyle etc. Just something in the back of my mind a bit like terror! What if getting a dog feels like a mistake, we couldn't rehome it obviously so would just have to suck it up. Is this apprehension normal? Any advice?!

I think it’s pretty normal I felt like that when we first decided to get our dog.

It felt a bit like deciding to have another child

It’s a big commitment, you’re adding another member to your family for the next 15 odd years.

We’ve recently lost him to illness but he was my buddy for 10 and a half years and never regretted it for a minute (well, apart from the incessant humping for the first few months )

The first year for me was hard. Puppy blues then into the stubborn adolescent period.

If you are prepared for a hard slog at first and know that eventually no matter how hard it is you will get to the other side you will be fine. When times are tough lots of us in the Doghouse section can help get you through them. And then you look back and think it was all worth it.

Ps unlike some people here, we have a dog who doesn't touch food even on the floor without permission (we can leave chocolates on the coffee table all Christmas!) and he ignores guests completely especially little ones preferring to retreat to a quiet spot - we have one very unusual dog!

OP, you already like dogs, you will almost certainly fall in love with whatever you choose and, while it will undoubtedly have you pulling your hair out on occasions, you will forgive it everything.

I would say more, but it is difficult to type as I have a lakeland terrier lying across my chest, snoring, and I don't want to disturb her ...

I wouldn't get a pup in a million years. I've adopted 4 adult dogs over the years who have all come into our home, been a bit disorientated for a couple of days and then adapted and behaved as if they've been with forever.

I've never had to lead train, toilet train or had anything chewed that I didn't want to be chewed. I adore my rescue dogs, especially my current collie boy who came to us at 18 months old and has never put a paw wrong. He's awesome and came from a rescue who had in a foster home for three weeks and tested him living with other dogs, cats and children. I knew exactly who and what I was getting and the assessment was completely accurate. Dog ownership the easy way..

Honestly, OP you sound like the best sort of realistic dog owner. You've dealt with rescue cats, you can do this because you are going into it with your eyes open.

You say you have anxiety, I got SweetDog in the midst of clinical depression and he saved my life. They are so 'in the moment', and now he comes to work with me and works his calming magic on stressed students.

Yes first months will be difficult (I didn't sit down for six weeks - following him round to scoop him up to pee outside - spaniels sniff and circle the whole time, so it's hard to tell when they need a wee!), but goodness they are worth it.

We have a beautiful 8mo show cocker and TBH, getting a dog is perhaps the worst decision I've ever made. His recall is terrible (although we've worked on it since the day we let him off his lead) and he literally can't be left by himself for 5 minutes without chewing something. We don't have any friends or family to look after him and the complete lack of spontaneity is frustrating. I found becoming a mother far easier than becoming a dog owner.

We discussed for months about whether we should get a dog, researched the right breed, bought one through a licensed breeder and brought him home at the beginning of the school summer holidays when we knew we'd have six weeks to train him and settle him in. Despite all of that, it was still the wrong thing to do.

I really hope we'll be like @biteyshark and I'll be back on MN in a couple of years saying getting a dog is the best thing I've ever done, but I can't see it.

OP, I'm sorry to be the voice of doom. If you do decide to go for it, I hope you feel better about it than we do.

We also have 2 dcats and other dogs!
One Lurcher from a puppy and one from an adult. No issues at all.

MsVestibule I remember 8 months of age (working cocker) and he was an asshole right in the middle of teenage hell. Keep at it and have lots of , and to get you through that period. Around 10-11 months of age I noticed a big difference in his behaviour which was for the better.

MsVestibule I don’t know if it helps but my Springer was a complete twat at around 8 months.

As Biteyshark posted, around 11 months was a turning point

Hope it gets better for you

@MsVestibule sorry to hear you’re having such a tough time. We’ve just started our journey with a puppy and it’s going okay so far though he’s still getting the hang of toilet training and he cries quite a bit if left even briefly but he’s lovely (I might be saying different in a few months as he’s only 3 months old). Lots of cake, chocolate and wine to get you through.

Eight months old is still very young, you will only have had him for at most 6 months, and four weeks of those he won’t have been able to go out. It takes hours and hours every day I’m afraid, and for a lot longer than six weeks. Do persevere if you can, it is worth it. Things do settle down eventually. Tiring the little blighters out is the key. Have you tried the calming diffusers, Kong toys at all? We took on an 8 month old Labrador and he was off the scale for exercise, I was on five walks a day for months, and he chewed very badly. Stairs, logs, ate the log basket, books, you name it, he ate it. But it’s what they do if they are bored. Routine and endless attention is what they crave as youngsters. It does get better.

I feel exactly the same! The difference between adding a dog or another child is that a child can go with you to most places! A dog feels a bigger responsibility somehow!

Well done @Pullyers for being mature and sensible to understand that getting a dog is a massive commitment that shouldn't be done on a whim!!!!

That's the first step complete, and you passed it's a good sign that you would get on well with being a parent to a little doggo!

Like other posters, my DH and I have wanted a doggo for sooooo long (Years) now. BUT, it is not the right time for us yet so we understand it would be completely unfair of us to bring a dog in to this mix just yet.

We are patiently working towards the day we finally have our lives in order to responsibly make a doggo a part of our family

And I do think getting a dog is a bigger responsibility than having a child! You can bring children with you places, take them to childcare centres, they go to school all day etc etc .... a dog is much harder to care for!! (although nowadays there are options for doggy day care, and bringing them on staycations etc.).

And for the record, we want to get a golden retriever and chocolate Labrador ... when the time is right

I think it's normal to be a little worried when you think about the hard parts of having a dog. You seem realistic in your expectations, so if you've considered all the pros and cons and still feel drawn to the idea, I'd do it.

Just keep reminding yourself that "this too shall pass", during those periods of exhaustion when the puppy has accidents, wakes you up in the middle of the night, or destroys something. The puppy months will eventually end, and one day you'll look at your wonderful mature dog and (almost) find it impossible to believe that s/he was ever such a terror.

Thank you for your sympathetic comments, you've made me cry!! We're just keeping going with the training, and if the recall doesn't improve, I suppose the worst case scenario is that we just don't let him off his lead. Not much we can do about the chewing I don't think; we just have to hope it stops sometime.

We've fortunately found a lovely doggy daycare that is open from 7am-9pm and if we know we're going to have a late(ish) night, they'll just bring him home and put him in his crate. That's really helped with the 'aaggh, we can't even have a meal out and go to the cinema anymore 🙈' feelings.

OP, sorry to derail your thread 😳.

I was like you op three years ago, I worried and turned every scenario around in my head about what could go wrong with owning a dog. What had I missed? What hadn't I considered?
On reflection, it was good a good thing to question the decision and weigh up the pros and cons. I put a lot of thought into which breed was best for my lifestyle, how much walking was needed and also things like finding a home boarder for when I go on holiday.
One thing I will say is that I happened to chose a smaller breed than a lab and although size wasn't a particular part of the decision making process I can report that a distinct but unexpected advantage is that I was able to scoop her up as a puppy and carry her home from a walk if she became tired or stubborn. She's a tad heavier now at four years old of course but I fancy I could still carry her if she needed me to.

Be prepared to commit to training. We looked after a lab for a family member for a year and he hadn’t been trained to walk properly on a lead and was a nightmare because he was strong. He was a wonderful boy though. Didn’t chew, loving and very calm. For some reason a dog feels more daunting but like someone has said I suspect it’s because you can’t take them everywhere and have to make sure they’re looked after.

I get you OP. I worried massively before we got our dog, read so much about the horror stories I scared myself to death. Our puppy is 8 months now and it has all been so much easier than I thought and she has slotted into our family life perfectly. Yes it’s a commitment and a tie but also a joy. She toilet trained easily, is friendly to dogs and people, recalls 95% of the time and is happy enough being left for a few hours. She’s a show cocker spaniel and we wouldn’t be without her now.

All of you with cockers and Springers, whether show or working types - they are utter teenage shits aren't they! SweetDog is a working cocker (with a bit of springer maybe), and I have to tell you that we are finally turning a corner at 4 with recall. He spent a year from 11months only being walked on a long-line, or at a fenced dog field, and even now, he doesn't go off lead if we are walking a route for the first time. We are lucky that he has never been destructive though.

Just be prepared for the first few months to be really, really hard. I love mine (he's one now) but my god the early stages were so difficult. They're needy and clingy, need taking to the toilet every 20 minutes, wake you up in the night, need supervision and that's before you even consider the chewing and nipping!m

Labs in general take a long time to grow up. They're very bitey and jumpy when young and have teeth like needles! They're big too so strong at a young age when they're not properly trained.

Then you get adolescence - forgetting their recall, forgetting their commands, ignoring you completely, another bitey phase - it's tough!

But I wouldn't be without my beagle boy. He's been hard but he's incredibly rewarding - the cuddles, the wagging tail at the end of the day, the snuggles in bed, the long walks and companionship - nothing beats it ❤️

I felt like this, despite the nearly 2 years that we researched and chose our dog. It wasnt really for me, but for my husband and daughter.
The pup is 2 this year, and the biggest mistake we've ever made.
I wish every day that we had made the decision not to have one, and now I'm stuck.

Our puppy is 8 months now and it has all been so much easier than I thought

I don't mean to put a downer on things @Hairyfairy01 but you're just about to hit adolescence!

I have a nine month old Smooth collie who is gorgeous and life enhancing but also a complete arsehole. He is currently running in circles because he has remembered we have cats. This happens every day. We have had the cats for his whole sodding life.

He is supposed to be resting and recovering from being neutered but then of course it snowed...

I had the exact same anxiety but it was 100% the right decision to get him.

We waited until the right time and I still felt the same as you - what if etc etc it’s such a big commitment. Our lab is now nearly 9 and we all love him he’s the best thing we did 😍. The first year was really hard work - did a lot of training classes. I did question a few times in that year why have we done this but I knew once we got past that first year he would be more enjoyable to have 😀 and he really is lovely.