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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

‘Your house is really messy’

67 replies

Worthygirl · 01/02/2019 11:34

DD 6 had friend to play & I overheard her friend saying to her ‘your house is really messy- my mummy tidies my room up’ (the mum doesn’t work!!)
Aibu to be embarrassed? Our house is a bit messy but it’s not that bad- it’s just not show home standard as I work full time!!

OP posts:

DorindaLestrange · 01/02/2019 19:32

DD's friend (aged 10) got in our car the other day and said, "It's quite dirty..."

To be sure, it was. I just agreed with her and brushed the seat off.

Pk37 · 01/02/2019 19:38

Sorry but that’s shite.
Just because you work full time doesn’t mean you can’t be tidy.
I manage it as well as millions of others

ShesAnEasyLlama · 01/02/2019 19:41

My DS (ASD, suspected ADHD) has a friend (ASD and ADHD) who came round for tea. First thing he said was "Your house is really small." I told him it's a flat and we don't need a big house because there's only me and DS. However, he exclaimed that DS had a "massive" room (double) all to himself, asked to take extra cupcakes I made home with him because they were yummy and his Mum didn't bake, and was very envious that DS has a console, even though DS only uses it at weekends.

Another friend (ADHD) came round and I heard her yell "Your bathroom is MASSIVE!". She's crammed in a small (and apparently messy) house with 2 brothers, Mum and a dog. She thought our flat was palatial by comparison.

DS has made another new friend now (ASD and ADHD) who lives in an upstairs flat down the road and DS now feels privileged because our ground floor flat has access to a garden. 😂

I only mention their diagnoses in all these cases because they're all 11 and 12 years old. Kids on the spectrum have no filter at any age, but they're also not really being rude, so I just roll with the punches.

Oh and when we don't have company, our flat is a shit tip.

Joysandsorrows · 01/02/2019 19:43

I’ve a 6 year old and in my experience kids that age generally say it how it is. Sorry!!

Subtlecheese · 01/02/2019 19:51

We had one of these untrained visitors once. I had invited her round as she wanted to make Christmas cards with my daughters. I left them to it, supplying snacks, all sorts of crafty stuff etc. She looked around at our supplies shrlf and haughty declared that her house doesn't have all this "messy stuff". She meant the craft supplies and the mess made of the table and floor from making cards.
Her mum was mortified it turns out they don't visit other houses much. Obviously never learned those skills.

tashac89 · 01/02/2019 20:00

I would LOVE to have kids that notice mess! My 10 year olds idea of tidying his bedroom is picking up anything in the middle of the room and shoving it in the cupboard does my head in. I had to work hard to overcome my obsessive need for tidy after having my second and zero energy. Then with my 3rd went through a bad period of PND where I had no cares. Now with 4 everything is clean but hardly ever tidy.

jelliebelly · 01/02/2019 20:31

Lol my dd has a friend who lives in a permanent state of showhome tidiness but loves the more relaxed nature of our house!

Most 6 yr olds wouldn't notice if you lived in a bombsite though!

Hugglessnuggles · 01/02/2019 20:40

I remember the ex MIL saying to me when ds2 was a baby and I was complaining about the state of the house:-

‘But huggles you live in a home not a house. A home is lived in, so you can expect mess’

So when ever I get down about the state of mine I think about what she said.

Upsy1981 · 01/02/2019 20:46

My DD once told me that her best friend was really posh. When I enquired why, she said 'Because they have two fireplaces in their house.' We lived in a modern house with no fireplace. Apparently fireplaces are an indicator of social class to a 6 year old!

user1494055864 · 01/02/2019 20:48

My daughter's friend, who was about 8 at the time, said she didn't like to use our downstairs toilet, as it was too small. She doesn't have a downstairs toilet at home, so I felt like saying, "Well it's a lot bigger than yours!!!"

Hugglessnuggles · 01/02/2019 20:58

We had a barbecue one year, and invited a few friends and their dc as always. One friend texted to say she’d already asked another friend and her dc to come over, would I mind if they come up. So I said no problem. But I know from conversations this friend’s home is like a show home.

So we had a load of adults and a load of children between 3-5. So I allowed them to bring down all the toys they wanted. They were doing arts and crafts, painting, Lego, puzzles, marble runs, dolls, cars etc they had everything out. So this new friend kept saying ‘shall we tidy up’ and I was saying ‘no it’s fine leave them to it and I will do it tomorrow’

So tomorrow came and there was a lot to tidy as expected! Then I had a text of new friend that said along the lines of ‘many thanks for allowing us to come up, we had a lot of fun. I’ve only ever allowed dc to get one toy out at a time. But seeing him having so much fun and using his imagination playing with several toys at once, I’m going to let him do it now in our house’. Which I thought was a nice compliment to have, as I was expecting a ‘we’ll never come up again as it’s so messy!’ Comment.

Entschuldigung · 01/02/2019 20:59

Ignore.

My kids went to quite a posh primary school for a short while. I remember a child coming round once and announcing our house was really tiny. It was smaller than most of the kids in the class but it was actually a similar size to this particular child's house. I thought it was really funny and I guess she was just comparing it to the houses of the other kids at school.

I was dreading the boy who lived in a stately home coming round but he didn't say a word about the size of our house he was only interested in dressing up as a princess.

My son offended a friend by observing that their house was terraced because you couldn't walk round it whereas our house was detached because you could walk round it. It was clearly something they'd been learning at school but she really snapped at him that you could fit our whole house into the kitchen of their other house in London. Son and I still laugh about this now, it was such a bizarre reaction!

I've had kids tell me our grass needs cutting. Another complained that I didn't have replacement batteries for something as his mother always had them ready.

I expect they all had a point but I really don't care.

BobTheDuvet · 01/02/2019 21:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

mrwalkensir · 01/02/2019 21:10

Young neighbour coming through our house to get his football as DH was frying off onions "your house stinks". Whilst it was rude, felt a bit sorry for him as presumably his parents don't fry onions....

Siameasy · 01/02/2019 21:16

Dying at the “you’ve only got one spider” comment😂
Don’t worry, ours is a bit lived in - so what. I think pin neat is boring.

Marriedwithchildren5 · 01/02/2019 22:53

I heard my 9 year old and her friend discussing that i put hand soap into a mason jar dispenser. My mum thinks it looks pretty, i literally heard her eyes rolling! I wanted to say, i do it because i buy cheap soap in giant, ugly bottles! I didnt though and walked away with my dignity!

lilyfire · 01/02/2019 23:01

Maybe just teach your 6 yo a reply along the lines of ‘that’s sexist - tidying is dad’s job in our house’.

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